Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, October 29 Today I have to drive to Calgary for Cardio-Diagnostics, whatever that is. Could be anything from MRI to running on an inclined treadmill with EKG electrodes attached, and with senior nurses frowning at me when I don't fall off the treadmill and onto them. Hmmm, maybe I should fake a fall and find out? I'll find out and tell you tomorrow. home4christmas.com is for sale! Make an offer! $50 minimum. You can use it for anything you want. Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: South Carolina dopey woman goes nuts ______________________________________________________ Today, October 29 in 1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. to prepare for WWII. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
"You don't need God anymore; you have us Democrats." --- Nancy Pelosi (Quoted in 2006) "Paying taxes is voluntary." --- Sen. Harry Reid Al Capone was sent to jail not for bootlegging or racketeering, but for tax evasion. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Our college just completed a new three-story building. While walking down a hall on the second floor, I overheard two students say, "I really like the skylights on the third floor." "Me too," remarked the second student. "I don't know why they didn't just put some on the second floor too." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Also from Sandie: My violin teacher was teaching a large group class. She showed them her violin and said, "This violin was made in the early 1800s." Someone in the class raised their hand and asked, "Did they make it specially for you?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Arnie for this story: I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in a vomit bag. After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?" I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cameo Louise Luchka, 26, Hanahan, South Carolina South Carolina dopey woman goes nuts A threesome went terribly wrong Monday night when a South Carolina woman high on meth and heroin allegedly attempted to bite off the genitals of a male with whom she was trysting, police report. Cops were summoned around 9:30 PM on October 22 to an apartment complex in Hanahan, a city about 15 miles north of Charleston. A 911 caller reported an assault where the female attempted to bite off his penis. Upon arriving at the residence, cops spotted a naked white female on hands and knees crawling into a hallway. The woman, covered in blood, ignored police commands to stop moving and was charging toward the Officers, according to a Hanahan Police Department report. The woman, cops noted, had already threatened to bite off [the victim's] penis as well. When the suspect continued to advance on officers, a patrolman engaged his taser on the female, as first reported by WCSC's Harve Jacobs. The suspect, identified as Cameo Louise Luchka, 26, told police that she had used heroin and methamphetamine that evening. Luchka later struggled with cops as they sought to place her on a gurney, and barked, growled, and hissed at police. The victim, Steven Norton, 31, told cops that he and another man were having sex with Luchka when she started passing out from drug use. Norton said that he then asked Luchka (seen above) to leave his apartment, but she refused. Norton said that Luchka began throwing items at him and threatened to bite his dick off. Norton said that Luchka struck him above the right eye with a glass object, causing a gash. Before calling 911, Norton recalled, he struck Luchka several times with his fists. Norton told police that if Luchka went to the hospital, he would not pursue charges. Luchka was transported to a North Charleston hospital, while Norton was treated for injuries at a Charleston hospital. While cops have classified the incident as an aggravated assault, investigators are still reviewing the matter and no arrest has been made, according to Police From: Dani Re: Cooling a laptop Good Morning Webby. I know you have probably answered this question before, but since I didn't have a laptop I didn't pay attention to your advise. Now I have a laptop and I am wondering what is the best way to keep it cool. Thank you as always for your expert advise. A Webby Fan, Dani Dear Dani That depends entirely on the laptop. Some suck the cooling air from the bottom, some from the side, and some even through the keyboard. They all tell you in the manual, and what part you should not obstruct. Most modern laptops don't produce as much heat as they used to, even ten years ago. Unless you have a very expensive, high powered game machine, I would not worry about it, but before you heave the manual into storage, have a peek. It usually tells you. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A stewardess approached a gentleman who was voicing his complains rather loudly. "Yes, Sir?" "I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie, and there are no window blinds, so I can't sleep." "Captain, shut up and pretend to be busy. " | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Silverware Line a pan with aluminum foil, fill it with water, add 1 Tbsp. of baking soda for each 2 cups. Heat to boiling and remove from heat. Add silver then rinse and polish them lightly. The foil attracts the tarnish so make sure the silver touches the foil. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Mind blowing Halloween pumpkins! |
___________________________________________________ In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e". ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Two priests were talking together and the older one said to the younger, "You know, when you came into church with all your new ideas, I had questions about how you were going to fit in and how well your ideas were going to work." "When you wanted to put bucket seats down in the front two rows of seats, I had my doubts. But now, at every mass, the seats are filled up with young people, so I have to agree that it was a good idea." "Then, when you wanted to jazz up the choir and we started singing newer, peppier songs, I was afraid it would offend the parishioners. Now, we have a lot of new, younger choir members, and the music seems to pick up the services a lot more than the old music. So, once again I have to agree that you were right! "But when you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But now, at least, there are more people coming to confession than ever. I think you've come up with another good idea." "However, the neon sign out front that says, 'Toot 'n tell or go to hell', has got to go! | Today October 29 in 1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that had been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy against King James I. 1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an independent commonwealth. 1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was the founder of Pennsylvania. 1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was founded. 1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley, was electrocuted. 1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal, later known as Kemal Ataturk. 1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the Wall Street stock market. 1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. to prepare for WWII. 1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went on sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price of $12.50 each. 1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez Canal Crisis. 1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use close- circuit television. 1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional fight. 1966 The National Organization for Women was founded. 1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all school segregation. 1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records. He carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting him over 1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season. 1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex or marital status 1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages during its occupation of Kuwait. 1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit an asteroid (Gaspra). 1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President Jean- Bertrand Aristide to power. 1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the Food and Drug Administration. 1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn on board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the first American to orbit the Earth. 1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for $2 million at a New York auction. 2001 KTLA broadcasted the first coast to coast HDTV network telecast. 2014 The smartwatch Microsoft Band was released 2018 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . | Search the web for:
Recommended Resources Find a human
Bypass voice menus
Web Tools
handy program downloads
SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial
This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still The Best
spam control Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE
As a matter of fact this service do my essays regularly when I send my request. Babelfish Translator Converter Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters
Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE
STUDENTS! We can write your essays, reviews, dissertations, etc. at DoMyEssay.net Virus Hoaxes
Virus / Trojan / Malware Info
Straight from McAfee Threat Center
FREE HTML Course !
Get the REAL McAfee
at incredible discount!
used and
Highly recommended
by Dear Webby
This Undeleter will easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery? SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price! Roboform, still the best password manager.
Still FREE
Highly recommended by DearWebby
FREE, no fuss download!
Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!
YOUR OWN
Postcard Site ! You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder: Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby
Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.
Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue
That could be YOUR ad for $50 per week.
Subscribers only!
Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season
Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras
Thesaurus
NASA Multimedia Gallery Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web
Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events
Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite
Do, Please Feed
Dear Webby!
Privacy Policy
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada |
|
