--- Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, June 24 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: English secondary school makes boys wear skirts to make transgender students feel more at home. Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, June 24 in 1675 King Philip's War began when Indians massacre colonists at Swansee, Plymouth colony. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ I never trust people's assertions, I always judge of them by their actions. --- Ann Radcliffe (1764 - 1823) ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Morris, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000. In all honesty I cannot fairly accept two bribes." The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Morris saying, "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Splendid Fairy Wren _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Two confirmed bachelors are talking and their conversation drifts from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook last Christmas," says the first, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asks the second. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way, 'Take a clean dish and ...'" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Secondary school Oxfordshire, England English secondary school makes boys wear skirts to make transgender students feel more at home. A private secondary school in Oxfordshire, England is banning its male students from wearing shorts during the summer months, and is instead requesting that they wear a more "gender neutral" ensemble that includes that staple of men's athletic wear: The skirt. According to the Daily Mail, Chiltern Edge Secondary School's rule change comes after an unfavorable ruling by a government agency tasked with overseeing educational standards. School leaders said the skirts were a "more formal" alternative to shorts, regardless of how uncomfortable they might make male students at the school. Unsurprisingly, parents are complaining about the bizarre school dress code, which is part of a larger trend of schools adopting "gender neutral" uniforms to make transgender students feel more at home, and alienate the straight ones. Tech Support Pits From: SueEllea Re: Coping with hotels Dear Webby In my new positon, I have to do a fair bit of traveling, and so far I don't like the computer part of it one bit. My daughter told me that you travel a lot and have written about that before. Well, you haven't, since I signed up. Hopefully the other subscribers won't be bored if you write an update on your travel tips. Thanks SueElla Dear SueElla The biggest nuisance with traveling is that most hotels use high tables and low chairs. Nobody knows why, but even hotels that claim to be business oriented and have office type swivel chairs, use ridiculously high tables. Most hotel tables come from China and just like un-hemmed bargain pants, the legs are way too long and need to be trimmed for the actually needed length. Unfortunately, that is too challenging for hotel staff. I cope with that problem by carrying a 5/16" thick piece of plexiglass trimmed to precisely fit into the lid of my big wheeled carryon. Well, nowadays I can't take it on board a plane any more and I have to check it through, but that piece of plexiglass has travelled with me for about 20 years. When I get to a hotel, I jam it into a partly opened dresser or night table drawer, and set my laptop on that. Then the separate keyboard, that I also take along, is at the perfect height for maximum typing speed while sitting in a low hotel chair. Yes, I take a regular keyboard along, with proper numeric keypad. I also take along a 5 button mouse. I am used to using the side buttons for copying and pasting. I also take along the following: Wireless DSL modem card 15 foot network cable 20 foot telephone cable Female-Female telephone cable connector Telephone line one-to-two splitter 20 foot light weight extension cord (Lamp Cord) Two 5 watt LED lightbulbs Print-out of Earthlink access numbers for the areas that I travel to. Naturally, I try to go to hotels that have wireless high- speed connections, but sometimes the room is too far away from the transmitter or the max number of people are already logged on by the time I get set up. Then old fashioned dial-up is better than nothing. I have to say that Earthlink has never let me down, even overseas, however, since their support was moved to Asia, it has deteriorated. Instead of joking with a valley girl, you are now arguing with somebody, who does not speak Engrish very well. That is why you need that print-out of all the local access numbers. Have FUN DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A salesman of many years is tired of his job and gives it up to become a policeman. One day, while he's walking his beat, he meets an old friend who asks him how he likes his new work. "Well," says the salesman-turned-cop, "the pay is excellent and the hours aren't bad. But what I like best is that the customer is always wrong." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A scout for one of the leading colleges went to the office of the athletic director and announced, "Have I got an athlete for you! This guy can play every sport and excels at every position. He is absolutely the finest athlete I have ever seen play." The athletic director was very impressed but had to ask the question, "But how is he scholastically?" The scout replied, "He makes straight "A"s in every subject. However, I must tell you his "B"s are a little crooked." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Hanging Tools If you enough wall space, hang shovels and other garden tools upside down on your walls. For smaller tools, you can get a peg board that you can mount on your wall and fit with a variety of pegs and hooks and store tools that you need to have handy. You can also get mop closet organizers that grip the handles properly with soft cushion grips. That way wet tools don't drool down the handle and leave a blister causing crust, and it helps to keep the lower end of the handle from drying out and getting sloppy. A tight fitting tool tires you out a lot less. A mop handle rack with six spring loaded cusion grips is usually around $4.95 and holds anything except heavy sledge hammers. Have FUN! DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | Tiny, perfect staircases made by a secret society of French woodworkers. |
___________________________________________________ As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I've learned that even the brightest students can become flustered behind the wheel. One day I had three beginners in the car, each scheduled to drive for 30 minutes. When the first student had completed his time, I asked him to change places with one of the others. Gripping the wheel tightly and staring straight ahead, he asked in a shaky voice, "Should I stop the car first?" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Thanks to Linda for this story: My wife and I are teachers, and our jobs often spill over into our family life. One morning, as our eight-year-old Maggie was getting ready for school, I peeked into her room just to be sure she had tidied it up. "You call THAT a made bed?" I asked. "No, Dad," Maggie replied. "It's just a rough draft." ____________________________________________________ | Today, June 24 in 1314 Scottish forces led by Robert the Bruce won over Edward II of England at the Battle of Bannockburn in Scotland. 1340 The English fleet defeated the French fleet at Sluys, off the Flemish coast. 1497 Italian explorer John Cabot, sailing in the service of England, landed in North America on what is now Newfoundland. 1509 Henry VIII was crowned King of England. 1664 New Jersey, named after the Isle of Jersey, was founded. 1675 King Philip's War began when Indians massacre colonists at Swansee, Plymouth colony. 1717 The Freemasons were founded in London. 1793 The first republican constitution in France was adopted. 1812 Napoleon crossed the Nieman River and invaded Russia. 1844 Charles Goodyear was granted U.S. patent #3,633 for vulcanized rubber. 1859 At the Battle of Solferino, also known as the Battle of the Three Sovereigns, the French army led by Napoleon III defeated the Austrian army under Franz Joseph I in northern Italy. 1861 Federal gunboats attacked Confederate batteries at Mathias Point, Virginia. 1862 U.S. intervention saved the British and French at the Dagu forts in China. 1869 Mary Ellen "Mammy" Pleasant officially became the Vodoo Queen in San Francisco, CA. 1910 The Japanese army invaded Korea. 1913 Greece and Serbia annulled their alliance with Bulgaria following border disputes over Macedonia and Thrace. 1931 The Soviet Union and Afghanistan signed a treaty of neutrality. 1940 France signed an armistice with Italy. 1940 TV cameras were used for the first time in a political convention as the Republicans convened in Philadelphia, PA. 1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt pledged all possible support to the Soviet Union. 1947 Kenneth Arnold reported seeing flying saucers over Mt. Rainier, Washington. 1948 The Soviet Union began the Berlin Blockade. 1955 Soviet MIG's down a U.S. Navy patrol plane over the Bering Strait. 1964 The Federal Trade Commission announced that starting in 1965, cigarette manufactures would be required to include warnings on their packaging about the harmful effects of smoking. 1968 "Resurrection City," a shantytown constructed as part of the Poor People's March on Washington D.C., was closed down by authorities. 1970 The U.S. Senate voted overwhelmingly to repeal the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution. 1982 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that no president could be sued for damages connected with actions taken while serving as President of the United States. 1985 Natalia Solzhenitsyn the wife of exiled, Soviet author Alexander Solzhenitsyn, became a U.S. citizen. 1986 The Empire State Building was designated a National Historic Landmark. 1997 The U.S. Air Force released a report titled "The Roswell Report, Case Closed" that dismissed the claims that an alien spacecraft had crashed in Roswell, NM, in 1947. 1998 AT&T Corp. struck a deal to buy cable TV giant Tele- Communications Inc. for $31.7 billion. 1998 Walt Disney World Resort admitted its 600-millionth guest. 2002 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that juries, not judges, must make the decision to give a convicted killer the death penalty. 2002 A painting from Monet's Waterlilies series sold for $20.2 million. 2018 Do smiled. |
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