Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, July 30 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Mother kills husband with boiling water after he allegedly sexually abused children ___________________________________________________ Today, July 30 in 2003 In Mexico, the last 'old style' Volkswagen Beetle rolled off an assembly line. ____________________________________________________ The wisdom of the wise, and the experience of ages, may be preserved by quotation. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) ____________________________________________________ On a Northwest Airways flight from Atlanta, GA., a middle- aged, well-to-do woman found herself sitting next to a man wearing a kippa. She called the attendant over to complain about her seating. 'What seems to be the problem Madam?' asked the attendant. You've sat me next to a Jew!! I can't possibly sit next to this disgusting person. Find me another seat!' 'Please calm down Madam.' the attendant replied. 'The flight is very full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class.' The woman shoots a snooty look at the snubbed Jewish man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the attendant returned. The woman could not help but look at the people around her with a smug and self-satisfied grin. The flight attendant then says...'Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class.' Before the lady has a chance to respond, the attendant continues...'It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit next to such a person.' The flight attendant turned to the Jewish man sitting next to her, and said: 'So if you'd like to get your things, sir, I have your seat in first class ready for you... The lady says indignantly 'I think that The Captain must have made some kind of mistake.' To which the attendant replied,' No M'am. Captain Aaron Cohen never makes any mistakes.' ____________________________________________________ Samir Djail PeoMdgua, South Australia, July 27 ____________________________________________________ A beautiful young woman is getting dressed for work one morning in her high-rise apartment building. She glances out her fiftieth-story bedroom window and sees a window washer outside. Thinking she will rattle him, she slowly takes off her dress. The window washer just goes about the business of cleaning the windows. Next, she removes her slip in a very provocative manner. Still, the man just keeps working away. Taking her striptease to the full extent, she takes off her bra and panties and begins parading around her room. The window washer still takes no notice of her. Finally, the woman walks over to the window and just stands there, totally naked, staring at the man outside her window. At last the window washer puts down his pail and says, "What's the matter, lady, haven't you ever seen a window washer before?" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Corinna Smith, 59, Chester, England, GB Mother kills husband with boiling water after he allegedly sexually abused children A woman from England was sentenced to life in prison with a minimum of 12 years for murdering her husband by pouring boiling water mixed with sugar on him. Corinna Smith, 59, was found guilty of pouring boiling water over her 80-year-old husband while he slept in July 2020, according to a news release from the Cheshire Constabulary. Before the attack, it was reported that Smith had been informed by her daughter about "devastating" allegations her husband had committed sexual abuse against children "for many years," the Chester Standard reports. Her husband suffered burns to 36% of his body before he passed away, a release says. Smith killed her husband Michael in such a painful and cruel way. To throw boiling water over someone when they are asleep is absolutely horrific, said Detective Chief Inspector Paul Hughes. The sugar placed into the water makes it vicious. It becomes thicker and stickier and sinks into the skin better. It left Michael in agony. Following the incident, she was initially charged with grievous bodily harm but shortly after his death, she was charged with murder. DearWebby's tech support pits From:Jody Re: Capture picture off FB Dear Webby How do I capture a picture off Facebook before it disappears? Jody Dear Jody Click on the picture to make it bigger. Then LEFT click it and select COPY IMAGE. Jump to your favorite picture processing program. ANY of them will work, even Microsoft PAINT. Go in there and hit CTRL V That will paste the copied picture as a new image. ALT F Save AS lets you give it a file name. Then you can size it and annotate it and do anything you want with it. Have FUN! DearWebby An oldie from the Reagan era: It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Braun, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States. He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," said Dr. Braun, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars." He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, "But that's impossible . . . we could never do it. . . yes Mr. President," and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we've found intelligent life on Mars . . . he wants us to try to find it in Congress." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ The company I worked for had an employee-suggestion competition, the entire staff was to submit entries that would save money for the firm. The winner was a man in my department who suggested we post corporate memos on bulletin boards, instead of printing 200 individual copies for distribution. He got a helium balloon with the company logo and one share of stock. A memo announcing the prize was printed and mailed out to 200 people who walked past the bulletin board every day. ____________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: An elderly couple was watching television one evening. "I am going to get a dish of ice cream now," the wife said. Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his wife. "I'll write it down so you don't forget," she said. "I won't forget," the old gent said. "But, I want chocolate syrup and nuts on it. So, I'll write it down," she replied. "I will get you the ice cream. Don't you worry," replied the husband. A few minutes later, the old man returned with bacon and eggs. His wife said, "See, I should have written it down because you forgot the toast." ____________________________________________ A Bonehead award goes to Bryan Vance of Campbell County, Tennessee who broke into a tavern and filled a plastic trash bag with beer cans. He must have thought the exercise of dragging the bag was making him stronger, faster, because it never occurred to him that the reason the bag was getting easier to tote was because, by dragging the bag along the ground, a hole opened up, leaving a trail of beer cans all the way from the tavern to his house, according to police. KOOI Radio Tennessee ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, July 30, in 1502 Christopher Columbus landed at Guanaja in the Bay Islands off the coast of Honduras during his fourth voyage. 1619 The first representative assembly in America convened in Jamestown, VA. (House of Burgesses) 1729 The city of Baltimore was founded in Maryland. 1898 "Scientific America" carried the first magazine automobile ad. The ad was for the Winton Motor Car Company of Cleveland, OH. 1932 Walt Disney's "Flowers and Trees" premiered. It was the first Academy Award winning cartoon and first cartoon short to use Technicolor. 1937 The American Federation of Radio Artists (AFRA) was organized as a part of the American Federation of Labor. 1942 The WAVES were created by legislation signed by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The members of the Women's Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service were a part of the U.S. Navy. 1945 The USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine. The ship had just delivered key components of the Hiroshima atomic bomb to the Pacific island of Tinian. Only 316 out of 1,196 men aboard survived the attack. 1956 The phrase "In God We Trust" was adopted as the U.S. national motto. 1965 U.S. President Johnson signed into law Social Security Act that established Medicare and Medicaid. It went into effect the following year. 1974 The U.S. House of Representatives Judiciary Committee voted to impeach President Nixon for blocking the Watergate investigation and for abuse of power. 1987 Indian troops arrived in Jaffna, Sri Lanka, to disarm the Tamil Tigers and enforce a peace pact. 1990 In Spring Hill, TN, the first Saturn automobile rolled off the assembly line. 1991 In China, construction began on the Oriental Pearl Radio & TV Tower. 1998 A group of Ohio machine-shop workers (who call themselves the Lucky 13) won the $295.7 million Powerball jackpot. It was the largest-ever American lottery. 2000 Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt were married. 2001 Lance Armstrong became the first American to win three consecutive Tours de France. 2003 In Mexico, the last 'old style' Volkswagen Beetle rolled off an assembly line. 2021 Do smiled. |
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