Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, July 1 Happy Canada Day! About 850 years after the Vikings colonized Newfoundland, on July 1 in 1867 Canada became an independent nation. Take the fireworks out of the BBQ! Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Teen Missing 13 Months Rescued From Georgia Home Kidnapper arrested Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 1 in 1916 The massive Allied offensive known as the Battle of the Somme began in France. The battle was the first to use tanks. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. --- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790) An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. --- Niels Bohr ____________________ That used to be true. Nowadays an expert is anybody who agrees with the propaganda pushed by CNN. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Three weeks after her wedding day, Maureen called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Bob: One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30. "Good morning," a young man said sheepishly. "This is your wake-up call." Annoyed, I let the hotel worker have it. "You were supposed to call me at 6!", I complained. "What if I had a million-dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out on it?" "Well, sir," the desk clerk quickly replied, "if you had a million dollar deal to close, you probably wouldn't be staying in this motel!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Ren Wysolovski, 31, Duluth, Georgia Teen Missing 13 Months Rescued From Georgia Home Kidnapper arrested A 17-year-old North Carolina girl who disappeared from her home more than a year ago was rescued after her family received a tip on Facebook. Hailey Burns, who was 16 when she was abducted in 2016, was found in 31-year-old Michael Ren Wysolovski's home in Duluth, Georgia on Saturday, according to the FBI. Wysolovski has been charged with aggravated sodomy, cruelty to children, deprivation in the first degree, interference with custody and false imprisonment. A judge on Monday ordered Wysolovski held without bond. Burns was reunited with her family on Sunday. Hailey is so happy to be home and safe, her mother, Shaunna Burns, said in a statement to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. She is happy to be in her clothes. In her bed. With her family. The girl's parents discovered she was missing from their Charlotte, North Carolina home on the morning of May 23, 2016. There was no sign at the time of forced entry into the home, police said. We woke up one morning to go wake her up for school like we do every single day and there was nobody there, her father, Tony Burns, told Charlotte's WCNC News last year. The teen's parents told WCCB News she has Asperger's Syndrome and struggled to make friends. She really wasn't 16, she was like maybe 12, so naive and so impressionable and so easily manipulated, her mom said. Police suspect Wysolovski met the teen online and lured her out of her home. Authorities had no leads on her whereabouts, leading the FBI to offer a $15,000 reward for information in the case. On June 22, Tony Burns posted on Facebook that 394 days had passed since he'd last seen his daughter. I see her room empty and pictures around me and just wish I could hug my little girl again, he wrote. I miss her so very much. Unbeknownst to Tony Burns, a break in the case was just days away. According to WSOC-TV, a woman from Romania contacted the teen's parents via Facebook on Friday and told them she had been in contact with the girl online, but did not know where she was being held. All the tipster had was a photo the teen had taken out a window of Wysolovski's Georgia residence. The family provided that photo to the FBI and agents used it to determine the teen's location. Authorities have not released further details about the case. Shaunna Burns told WSOC-TV her daughter has lost 15-20 pounds and is trying to readjust to life back home. There are changes in my daughter, she said. She is not the same person that left and that is the hardest part of this. Wysolovski is set to appear at his preliminary hearing on July 7. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jan Re: Copyright Symbol Dear Webby, A year or so ago (maybe 3 or 4) you gave a list of symbols. I lost mine! I need the copyright. I thought it was Alt-Ctrl-C, but can't seem to get it to work. Anyway you could publish that list again? Thanks so much, Jan Dear Jan The copyright symbol is made by holding down ALT and typing 0169 with the numeric key pad. NUM-LOCK of course has to be on. The strip I made for laying on top of the keyboard or gluing to the bottom frame of the monitor is at http://webby.com/humor/key-codes.html It has lots of handy keyboard shortcuts on it. Have FUN! DearWebby An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees." When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remove Water Stains in Toilet By Marty Dick [169 Posts, 1,002 Comments] I am a real nutcase about my bathrooms. Our toilets are still fairly new, so there is no need for them to have brown stains. I had a ring around my bowl and streaks coming down where the water runs into the bowl. Since I use CLR on my faucets I decided to dump some into the toilet bowl to try and get rid of that stubborn stain that wouldn't go away. It worked! Now the bowl is new potty clean. ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ The mayor of a small town in Texas decided to ride with a policeman to learn what they do when they issue a traffic ticket. The officer told the mayor, " we'll just follow a car for a few miles and the motorist will surely make a mistake somewhere on his trip." They found a guy in a Lexus and began to follow. After three miles no violations. Then six miles no violations and then after ten miles the policeman turned to the mayor and said, "I think I'll stop that driver and congratulate him on being so careful." He pulled the car to the side of the road and went slowly to the drivers window. He complemented the driver for being so careful and the driver said, "Hic! Ya gotta be careful when you're ash drunk ash I am!" ___________________________________________________ | | Mind bending 'Magic Realism' paintings. |
___________________________________________________ >From Dana: As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off- duty bus drivers surrounded me. One man handed me my ocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there." As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. That's why the stuff is in that bushel box. And we'd like to see just how you get all of it into that purse!" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river. Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me the strength to cross the river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice. After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once. Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross this river." Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge. ____________________________________________________ | Today, on July 1, in 0096 Vespasian, a Roman Army leader, was hailed as a Roman Emperor by the Egyptian legions. 1543 England and Scotland signed the peace of Greenwich. 1596 An English fleet under the Earl of Essex, Lord Howard of Effingham and Francis Vere captured and sacked Cadiz, Spain. 1690 The French defeated the forces of the Grand Alliance at Fleurus in the Netherlands. 1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took Alexandria, Egypt. 1863 During the U.S. Civil War, the first day's fighting at Gettysburg began. 1867 Canada became an independent dominion. 1874 The Philadelphia Zoological Society zoo opened as the first zoo in the United States. 1876 Montenegro declared war on the Turks. 1893 The first bicycle race track in America to be made out of wood was opened in San Francisco, CA. 1897 Three years after the first issue of "Billboard Advertising" was published, the publication was renamed, "The Billboard". 1898 During the Spanish-American War, Theodore Roosevelt and his "Rough Riders" waged a victorious assault on San Juan Hill in Cuba. 1909 Thomas Edison began commercially manufacturing his new "A" type alkaline storage batteries. 1916 The massive Allied offensive known as the Battle of the Somme began in France. The battle was the first to use tanks. 1940 In Washington, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge was opened to traffic. The bridge collapsed during a wind storm on November 7, 1940. 1941 Bulova Watch Company sponsored the first TV commercial in New York City, NY. 1942 German troops captured Sevestpol, Crimea, in the Soviet Union. 1943 The U.S. Government began automatically withholding federal income tax from paychecks. 1946 The U.S. exploded a 20-kiloton atomic bomb near Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean. 1950 American ground troops arrived in South Korea to stem the tide of the advancing North Korean army. 1960 Somalia gained its independence from Britain through the unification of Somaliland with Italian Somalia. 1961 British troops landed in Kuwait to aid against Iraqi threats. 1961 The first community air-raid shelter was built. The shelter in Boise, ID had a capacity of 1,000 people and family memberships sold for $100. 1963 The U.S. postmaster introduced the five-digit ZIP (Zoning Improvement Plan) code. 1966 The Medicare federal insurance program went into effect. 1968 The Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty was signed by 60 countries. It limited the spreading of nuclear material for military purposes. On May 11, 1995, the treaty was extended indefinitely. 1969 Britain's Prince Charles was invested as the Prince of Wales. 1974 Isavel Peron became the president of Argentina upon the death of her husband, Juan. 1979 Sony introduced the Walkman. 1980 "O Canada" was proclaimed the national anthem of Canada. 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed legislation that provided for 2 acres of land near the Lincoln Memorial for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. 1981 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that candidates for federal office had an "affirmative right" to go on national television. 1987 John Kevin Hill, at age 11, became the youngest to fly across the U.S. when he landed at National Airport in Washington, DC. 1989 The Montreal Protocol, an international treaty, went into effect. It limited the production of ozone-destroying chemicals. That turned out to be a hoax. 1991 The Warsaw Pact dissolved. 1994 Yasser Arafat of the Palestinian Liberation Organization visited the Gaza Strip. 1997 The sovereignty over Hong Kong was transferred from Great Britain to China. Britain had controlled Hong Kong as a colony for 156 years. 1999 The U.S. Justice Department released new regulations that granted the attorney general sole power to appoint and oversee special counsels. The 1978 independent-counsel statute expired on June 30. 2003 In Hong Kong, thousands of protesters marched to show their opposition to anti-subversion legislation. 2017 Do smiled. |
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