Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, January 21 Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my eyeballs. Well, you know the routine. After that I won't be able to write and send your newsletter for 3 days. NO Friday, Saturday or Sunday issue. Monday I will be back in your mail again. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Wisconsin pharmacist tried to ruin COVID-19 vaccine ___________________________________________________ Today, January 19 in 2002 In Goma, Congo, about fifty people were killed when lava flow ignited a gas station. The people killed were trying to steal fuel from elevated tanks. The eruption of Mount Nyiragongo began on January 17, 2002. _____________________________________________________ No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. --- Michael Pritchard _____________________________________________________ Family leaving Church after services: Father; "That was the longest driest, least informative sermon I've ever heard." Mother; "The choir was terrible. I never heard some of those hymns before, and they were singing them off key." Little Tommy; "I don't know, all in all it wasn't bad show. Three of us for a dollar." _____________________________________________________ Women believe if a pet cat strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a pet dog strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a woman strays, it's because of a lack of affection at home. Women believe if a man strays, it's because men are scum. _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The husband had finally had enough of being Pussy-whipped. He burst through the door after work and yelled, " Here's the deal Woman. I want my dinner on the table in 15 minutes. Afterwards, we're going upstairs where you'll satisfy me with some oral sex. Then while I'm in the shower, you'll lay out some clean clothes for me. Cause I'm going out on the town with the boys. And do you know who's gonna tie my damn tie just the way I like it." "Yes Dear," she replied. "The undertaker." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Steven Brandenburg, 46, Madison, Wisconsin, USA Wisconsin pharmacist tried to ruin COVID-19 vaccine A Wisconsin pharmacist convinced the world was crashing down told police he tried to ruin hundreds of doses of coronavirus vaccine because he believed the shots would mutate peoples DNA, according to court documents released Monday. Police in Grafton, about 20 miles north of Milwaukee, arrested Advocate Aurora Health pharmacist Steven Brandenburg last week following an investigation into the 57 spoiled vials of the Moderna vaccine, which officials say contained enough doses to inoculate more than 500 people. Charges are pending. Hed formed this belief they were unsafe, Ozaukee County District Attorney Adam Gerol said during a virtual hearing. He added that Brandenburg was upset because he was in the midst of divorcing his wife, and an Aurora employee said Brandenburg had taken a gun to work twice. A detective wrote in a probable cause statement that Brandenburg, 46, is an admitted conspiracy theorist and that he told investigators he intentionally tried to ruin the vaccine because it could hurt people by changing their DNA. Misinformation around the COVID-19 vaccines has surged online with false claims circulating on everything from the vaccines ingredients to its possible side effects. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Jerry Re: Lost CTRL C and CTRL V Dear Webby I don't know what happened, but I seem to have lost my CTRL+C and CTRL+V capabilities! Any thoughts on how to get them back? Sorry if it's a stupid question! Jerry Dear Jerry Your usable amount of RAM is in use or bunged up. Hightlight a comma or period, copy that, and paste that. That will normally clear the clipboard of any big stuff. After that run CrapCleaner from http://webby.com/tools to clean up the temporary files. Rebooting also helps. Good Luck! DearWebby The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready, and nothing could dampen Jennifer's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother Sheila finally found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother of the bride EVER! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her new young stepmother, Barbie, had purchased the same dress. She asked Barbie to exchange the dress, but Barbie refused, "Absolutely not! I'm going to wear this dress; I'll look like a million in it!" Jennifer told her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind dear. I'll get another dress, after all it's your special day, not hers." Two weeks later, another dress was finally found. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You don't have any place to wear it." Sheila grinned and replied, "Of course, I do, dear! I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ When you're 4... success is... Not peeing in your pants. When you're 12... success is... Having friends. When you're 16... success is... Having A driver's license. When you're 20... success is... Having sex. When you're 35... success is... Having money. When you're 50... success is... Having money. When you're 60... success is... Having sex. When you're 70... success is... Having A driver's license. When you're 75... success is... Having friends. When you're 80... success is... Not peeing in your pants. ____________________________________________ On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." ____________________________________________ On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have. You can leave husbands, but please no babies." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today Jan 21 in 1793 During the French Revolution, King Louis XVI was executed on the guillotine. He had been condemned for treason. 1861 The future president of the Confederacy, Jefferson Davis of Mississippi, resigned from the U.S. Senate. Four other Southerners also resigned. 1865 An oil well was drilled by torpedoes for the first time. 1900 Canadian troops set sail to fight in South Africa. The Boers had attacked Ladysmith on January 8, 1900. 1911 The first Monte Carlo car rally was held. Seven days later it was won by Henri Rougier. 1924 Soviet leader Vladimir Ilyich Lenin died. Joseph Stalin began a purge of his rivals for the leadership of the Soviet Union. 1954 The Nautilus was launched in Groton, CT. It was the first atomic-powered submarine. U.S. First Lady Mamie Eisenhower broke the traditional bottle of champagne across the bow. 1954 The gas turbine automobile was introduced in New York City. 1970 The Boeing 747 made its first commercial flight from New York to London for Pan American. 1976 The French Concorde SST aircraft began regular commercial service for Air France and British Airways. 1977 U.S. President Carter pardoned almost all Vietnam War draft evaders. 1980 Gold was valued at $850 an ounce. 1994 A jury in Manassas, VA, acquitted Lorena Bobbitt by reason of temporary insanity of maliciously wounding (severing his penis) her husband John. She accused him of sexually assaulting her. 1999 The U.S. Coast Guard intercepted a ship headed for Houston, TX, that had over 9,500 pounds of cocaine aboard. It was one of the largest drug busts in U.S. history. 2002 In Goma, Congo, about fifty people were killed when lava flow ignited a gas station. The people killed were trying to steal fuel from elevated tanks. The eruption of Mount Nyiragongo began on January 17, 2002. 2002 In London, a 17th century book by Capt. John Smith, founder of the English settlement at Jamestown, was sold at auction for $48,800. "The General History of Virginia, New England and the Summer Isles" was published in 1632. 2003 It was announced by the U.S. Census Bureau that estimates showed that the Hispanic population had passed the black population for the first time. 2021 Do smiled. |
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