| p Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, June 14 ____________________________________________________ History: today, June 14 in 1951, "Univac I" was unveiled. It was a computer designed for the U.S. Census Bureau and billed as the world's first commercial computer. ___________________________________________ Bonehead Aurora man sentenced to forty years for pointing out shooting target ___________________________________________________ Q If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' --- Theodore Roosevelt (1858 - 1919) ____________________________________________________ A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of Woods. The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used them for the first time - more than half expecting he'd come in and demand his money back. But the next time he came in to buy a couple of sleeves of balls, , he was all smiles. "They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact, I've discovered I can throw them at least 40 yards farther than I could my last ones." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! Today's Bonehead Award: Woman rejects 20-year sentencing deal for drug charges, gets 99 years instead __________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! __________________________________________ Furious activity is no substitute for understanding. --- H. H. Williams If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. --- Marcus Bridgstocke _____________________________________________ An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital in Los Angeles, but didn't quite make it. She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $500." He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn. A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived: "Greens Fee: $200." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Felisha Diane Williams, 39, Upshur county, Texas Woman rejects 20-year sentencing deal for drug charges, gets 99 years instead A Texas woman was sentenced to 99 years in prison after pleading guilty to drug charges in Upshur County, KETK reports. Felisha Diane Williams, 39, pleaded guilty on January 13th to possession of a controlled substance with the intent to deliver. In her plea, she declined the states offer of 20 years and opted for a jury to decide her punishment. Due to previous felonies, Williams faced an enhanced punishment range of 15 years to life rather than the normal punishment range of 5-99 years or life in prison. Williams was arrested on May 26, 2018. According to court records, she was a passenger in a car stopped in Gilmer for displaying multiple registrations and mismatched license plates. Police said one of the cars passengers originally gave police a false name. Once police found out the real name, they also found warrants against that name and requested permission to search the car, which the driver granted. In the search, officers found several baggies and methamphetamine. During her transport to the county jail, Williams indicated she had more meth concealed on her person. At the jail, staff found about 7 grams of meth and 16 more small baggies, which authorities say are commonly used in drug trafficking. Williams had four previous felony convictions on her record and was on parole at the time of her arrest. _________________________________________________ Ole and Lena went to the hospital so Lena could deliver their first baby. As Ole waited in the lobby, the doctor came out to talk to him. The doctor said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you have a normal baby boy. The bad news is that it is a cesarean." Ole started crying, and said, "Vel, I'm glad it is a healthy baby, but I vas kinda hoping it vould be Norvegian." ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ___________________________________________________ A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of Woods. The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used them for the first time - more than half expecting he'd come in and demand his money back. But the next time he came in, he was all smiles. "They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact, I've discovered I can throw them at least 40 yards farther than I could my last ones." ___________________________________________________ One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Thibodaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodaux noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float all the way back to the house; it kept floating away from the house, then back in. Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you see that baseball cap floating away from the house, then back again?" Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yes, that's my husband; I told the dumb coon-ass he was going to cut the grass today come Hell or high water or I was gonna rip something off him!" ________________________________________________ RedFoxAgate, Patagonia ___________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Cesar Ponce, 20, Aurora, Illinois, USA Aurora man sentenced to forty years for pointing out shooting target An Aurora man is being sentenced to forty years in prison for a 2021 shooting that left another Aurora man dead. The Kane County State's Attorney's Office says that 20-year- old Cesar Ponce, of Aurora, was with fellow gang member Fidel Bello on May 24, 2021 when the two were looking for rival gang members. Ponce is said to have pointed out a group of people outside of a home and Bello is said to have shot and killed 46-year-old Samuel Ortiz-Rodriguez, who was not actually in a gang. Ponce was found guilty by a jury in March. Bello has pleaded guilty to murder and is to be sentenced in July. A third person said to be with the two during the shooting was not charged. ___________________________________________________ Three woman and their children were outside their psychiatrist's office. The wily old doctor was able to diagnose any complaint after asking the patient a few questions. The first woman went in and the doctor asked her a few questions and proclaimed: "Madam, all you ever think is food! That is why you named you daughter Candy!" "Why," exclaimed the woman, "you're absolutely right, doctor!" Then it was the second woman's turn. She got the same treatment and the doctor pronounced: "Madam, you're obsessed with the thought of money. That is why you named you daughter Penny!" "You're right, doctor!" exclaimed the second woman and left. The third woman, who had been listening to all this, got up indignantly and said: "What rubbish! I don't believe a single word you said. Obsessions indeed!" Then waving to her little son to follow her, she said: "Let's go home now Dick." ___________________________________________________ On The Way Back As I Was Sitting In The Phoenix Airport, They Announced That The Flight To Vegas Was Full. The Airline Was Looking For Volunteers To Give Up Their Seats. In Exchange, They'd Give You A $100 Voucher For Your Next Flight And A First Class Seat In The Plane Leaving An Hour Later. About Eight People Ran Up To The Counter To Take Advantage Of The Offer. About 15 Seconds Later All Eight Of Those People Sat Down Grumpily As The Lady Behind The Ticket Counter Said, "If There Is Anyone Else Other Than The Flight Crew Who'd Like To Volunteer, Please Step Forward." __________________________________________ __________________________________________ TO CONFIRM HER SUSPICIONS, my sister needed to purchase a pregnancy test. Since I was going to the pharmacy, she asked me to pick one up. I didn't stop to think how I appeared to the clerk when I waddled up nine months pregnant to pay for the kit. "Honey," she said, "I can save you $15 right now. You're definitely going to have a baby." ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Richi Re: Default Browser Dear Webby I go into settings and see this: Microsquish Edge is Default Browser (see here ) I click on Change my default, click on Chrome and close.... no where does it say save changes. Where else can I check my default browser setting is Chrome? Thanks Richie Good Morning, Helmut-End-Of-List! Today is Tuesday, April 28 ___________________________________________________ Today, April 28 in 2001 A Russian rocket launched from Central Asia with the first space tourist aboard. The crew consisted of California businessman Dennis Tito and two cosmonauts. The destination was the international space station. ______________________________________________________ Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. --- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862) Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! Today's Bonehead Award: Man jailed for stealing police cars blue lights for bragging rights __________________________________________ >From John C. Re Shift Key ...."train" the computer to recognise your voice before the feature works reliably. === This is true, but... Note that despite this need to say shift very clearly, and often several times, even a barely audible muttered 'shit' will immediately and infallibly - and possibly permanently - activate the Caps Lock key. In these cases even a complete wipe and reinstallation won't change it back. Sometimes it will even follow you to a new or different computer. --- John C __________________________________________ On The Way Back To New York As I Was Sitting In The Phoenix Airport, They Announced That The Flight To Vegas Was Full. The Airline Was Looking For Volunteers To Give Up Their Seats. In Exchange, They'd Give You A $100 Voucher For Your Next Flight And A First Class Seat In The Plane Leaving An Hour Later. About Eight People Ran Up To The Counter To Take Advantage Of The Offer. About 15 Seconds Later All Eight Of Those People Sat Down Grumpily As The Lady Behind The Ticket Counter Said, "If There Is Anyone Else Other Than The Flight Crew Who'd Like To Volunteer, Please Step Forward." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David McBeth, 30, Sunderland England Man jailed for stealing police cars blue lights for bragging rights British Transport Police said David McBeth, 30, jumped on the roof of one of their vehicles when it was parked outside Sunderland station. He pulled and kicked at the emergency lights, eventually ripped them off and then walked away with them. McBeth was caught on CCTV with the lights over his shoulder, and they were never recovered. The damage and the cost of hiring a replacement vehicle was 1,000. McBeth, of John Street, Sunderland, was charged with theft and appeared at South Tyneside Magistrates Court, where he pleaded guilty and was jailed for 10 weeks. Pc Michael Proudfoot, of British Transport Police, said: This was an act of sheer stupidity, he targeted a squad car in clear view of cameras and would not stop until he got hold of the emergency lights. You can only imagine he did this for some nonsense bragging rights. "Look Ma! I'm in jail now! You don't have to cook for me for TEN weeks!" ____________________________________________________ DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Richi Re: Default Browser color=red> Dear Webby I go into settings and see this: Microsquish Edge is Default Browser (see here ) I click on Change my default, click on Chrome and close.... no where does it say save changes. Where else can I check my default browser setting is Chrome? Thanks Richie Dear Richi Just bring up Chrome. CHROME will ask you, if you want to make Chrome the default browser. Hit YES and OK, and Chrome will be the default. Microslop may be sloppy, but Chrome gets around that nicely. So does FireFox. Have fun! Dearwebby ____________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! ___________________________________________________ Caracals __________________________________________________ History Today June 14, in 1775, The Continental Army was founded by the Second Continental Congress for purposes of common defense. This event is considered to be the birth of the United States Army. On June 15, George Washington was appointed commander-in- chief. 1777, The Continental Congress in Philadelphia adopted the "Stars and Stripes" as the national flag of the United States. The Flag Resolution stated "Resolved: that the flag of the United States be made of thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new Constellation." On May 20, 1916, President Woodrow Wilson officially proclaimed June 14 "Flag Day" as a commemoration of the "Stars and Stripes." 1789, Captain William Bligh of the HMS Bounty arrived in Timor in a small boat. 1798, American captain Edmund Fanning discovered Kingman Reef between the Hawaiian Islands and American Samoa. In 1922, the United States annexed the uninhabited, triangle-shaped reef. 1834, Cyrus Hall McCormick received a patent for his reaping machine. 1834, Isaac Fischer Jr. patented sandpaper. 1841, The first Canadian parliament opened in Kingston. 1846, A group of U.S. settlers in Sonoma proclaimed the Republic of California. 1893, Philadelphia observed the first Flag Day. 1900, Hawaii became a U.S. territory. 1907, Women in Norway won the right to vote. 1917, General John Pershing arrived in Paris during World War I. 1919, The first non-stop trans-Atlantic flight began. Captain John Alcot and Lt. Arthur Brown flew from Newfoundland to Ireland. 1922, Warren G. Harding became the first U.S. president to be heard on radio. The event was the dedication of the Francis Scott Key memorial at Fort McHenry. 1927, Nicaraguan President Adolfo Diaz signed a treaty with the U.S. allowing American intervention in his country. 1940, The Nazis opened their concentration camp at Auschwitz in German-occupied Poland. 1940, German troops entered Paris. As Paris became occupied loud speakers announced the implementation of a curfew being imposed for 8 p.m. 1943, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that schoolchildren could not be made to salute the U.S. flag if doing so conflicted with their religious beliefs. 1944, Sixty U.S. B-29 Superfortress' attacked an iron and steel works factory on Honshu Island. 1945, Burma was liberated by Britain. 1949, The state of Vietnam was formed. 1951, "Univac I" was unveiled. It was a computer designed for the U.S. Census Bureau and billed as the world's first commercial computer. 1952, The Nautilus was dedicated. It was the first nuclear powered submarine. 1954, U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed an order adding the words "under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance. 1954, Americans took part in the first nation-wide civil defense test against atomic attack. 1965, A military triumvirate took control in Saigon, South Vietnam. 1967, Mariner 5 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL. The space probe's flight took it past Venus. 1982, Argentine forces surrendered to British troops on the Falkland Islands. 1989, Former U.S. President Reagan received an honorary knighthood from Britain's Queen Elizabeth II. 1990, The U.S. Supreme Court upheld police checkpoints that are used to examine drivers for signs of intoxication. 1994, The New York Rangers won the Stanley Cup by defeating the Vancouver Canucks. It was the first time the Rangers had won the cup in 54 years. 2002, Actor Kirk Douglas received the UCLA Medal. The award is presented to people for cultural, political and humanitarian achievements. 2023, Do smiled.
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