Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, May 8 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Some Chicago killers arrested ___________________________________________________ Today, May 8 in 1970 Construction workers broke up an anti-war protest on New York City's Wall Street. ____________________________________________________ A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) ____________________________________________________ Dear Dear Webby I wish I could tell you how grateful I am to you for keeping my husband and coach alive even though he died in an accident four years ago today. While everybody else calls me nicknames like "half-pint" and "evil-runt" and worse, Roy always called me "My-Lil-Empress" and in his eyes I was a real person, not just a half size. The more everybody else put me down, the more Roy always did things to build up my self confidence and make me feel good about myself. Giving me a subscription to the Humor Letter under the name that he used for me, that was one of those things. Even though he is long dead, every morning when the Humor Letter greets me with "Dear My-Lil- Empress !", it's Roy boosting me up, and even though I am only 4' 6", I walk tall ! Thanks Roy, and Thanks Webby! My-Lil-Empress Dear My-Lil-Empress It's real people like you who are the reason that I don't mind if the sky turns pink in the east before my previous day's shift is over, as long as the Humor Letter goes out. DearWebby ____________________________________________________ A pipe burst in a lawyer's house, so he called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber- type things for a while, and handed the lawyer a bill for $600. The lawyer exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a lawyer!" The plumber smiled and replied: "Considering how much your loopholes leak, you shouldn't. MY work doesn't leak." ____________________________________________________ From Kathy ____________________________________________________ Rosita got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got lost in a snowstorm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot now, but you can follow me over to K-Mart" ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jawaunn Jackson, 22, Chicago, Illinois, USA Chicago killers arrested After Eugene Broach tripped on a bush in a front yard on April 5, two brothers chased him before standing over him and shooting him multiple times, prosecutors said. A second man has been charged with shooting a man nearly a dozen times as he crouched in a fetal position two houses down from the alleged gunmens West Pullman home. After Eugene Broach tripped on a bush in a front yard on April 5, two brothers chased him and unloaded 17 rounds at point- blank range, Assistant Cook County States Attorney Kevin Deboni said at 22-year-old Jawaunn Jacksons bond hearing Wednesday. Jacksons brother 28-year-old Semaj Dixon who was on electronic monitoring for a pending gun case at the time of the shooting was ordered held without bail for Broachs murder last month. Surveillance video shows Jackson and Dixon armed with 9mm handguns as they chased Broach down the 12000 block of South Lowe Avenue, Deboni said. Jawaunn Jackson Jawaunn Jackson Chicago police arrest photo Broach, 21, was struck 11 times while he was in a fetal position, Deboni said. He was taken to Christ Medical Center in Oak Lawn, where he was pronounced dead. Deboni didnt offer a motive or say how the brothers knew Broach, but he did note that high quality surveillance video captured the incident before, during and after the deadly shooting. Two witnesses also identified the brothers as the shooters in the surveillance video and in photos and were able to provide their nicknames to authorities, Deboni said. Dixons GPS showed him near the crime scene, corroborating the video footage, Deboni said. Judge Mary Marubio ordered Jackson held without bail. He is expected back in court on May 26. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Kath RE: Remove old card from PayPal Dear Webby How do I dump a credit card from PayPal? I forgot that I had used my AMEX card as my Faall-Back, but after I had not used that card for years after COSTCO stopped using it, I dumped it. Actually, I just forgot to call in when they sent me a new one, and then lost the new one. So now I have to dump it from PayPal. How do I do that? Kath Dear Kath You have to ADD a new card first. After that you can select EDIT cards, pick the obsolete card,and once you are in the edit mode, you see the option for deleting it. Have FUN! DearWebby >From the "10 commandments of love" Honor MY mother and father. ----THINE are too dang weird. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ During a friendly argument, Jim asked his wife why she married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," she teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, she was surprised and requested an explanation. "Well, people get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid." ___________________________________________ Q. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Just one, but it will take a long time, and the bulb has to really want to change." -------- Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two. The hard part is getting them into the light bulb.... ____________________________________________ Subject: THE VALUE OF UNDIES Be careful what you wear (or don't wear), when working under your vehicle, especially in public. From the Sydney Morning Herald - Australia comes this story: A west central couple who drove their car to the store only to have their car break down in the parking lot.The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car there in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs portruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, May 8 in 1096 Peter the Hermit and his army reached Hungary. They passed through without incident. 1450 Jack Cade's Rebellion-Kentishmen revolted against King Henry VI. 1541 Hernando de Soto reached the Mississippi River. He called it Rio de Espiritu Santo. 1794 Antoine Lavoisier was executed by guillotine. He was the French chemist who discovered oxygen. 1794 The United States Post Office was established. 1846 The first major battle of the Mexican War was fought. The battle occurred in Palo Alto, TX. 1847 The rubber tire was patented by Robert W. Thompson. 1879 George Selden applied for the first automobile patent. 1886 Pharmacist Dr. John Styth Pemberton invented what would later be called "Coca-Cola." 1914 The U.S. Congress passed a Joint Resolution that designated the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day. 1919 The U.S. Navy's first transatlantic flight took off with three Curtiss NC flying boats. 1921 Sweden abolished capital punishment. 1933 Gandhi began a hunger strike to protest British oppression in India. 1939 Clay Puett's electric starting gate was used for the first time. 1943 The Germans suppressed a revolt by Polish Jews and destroyed the Warsaw Ghetto. 1945 U.S. President Harry Truman announced that World War II had ended in Europe. 1954 Parry O'Brien became the first to toss a shot put over 60 feet. O'Brien achieved a distance of 60 feet 5 1/4 inches. 1956 Alfred E. Neuman appeared on the cover of "Mad Magazine" for the first time. 1958 U.S. President Eisenhower ordered the National Guard out of Little Rock as Ernest Green became the first black to graduate from an Arkansas public school. 1959 Mike and Marian Ilitch founded "Little Caesars Pizza Treat". 1960 Diplomatic relations between Cuba and the Soviet Union resumed. 1970 Construction workers broke up an anti-war protest on New York City's Wall Street. 1973 Militant American Indians who had held the South Dakota hamlet of Wounded Knee for 10 weeks surrendered. 1984 The Soviet Union announced that they would not participate in the 1984 Summer Olympics Games in Los Angeles. 1985 "New Coke" was released to the public on the 99th anniversary of Coca-Cola. It was a dud. 1986 Reporters were told that 84,000 people had been evacuated from areas near the Chernobyl nuclear plant in Soviet Ukraine. 1998 A pipe burst leaving a million residents without water in Malaysia's capital area. This added to four days of shortages that 2 million already faced. 1999 The first female cadet graduated from The Citadel military college. 2021 Do smiled. |
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