Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, June 22 ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award DUI driver's Mercedes called cops and ambulance after he crashed ___________________________________________________ History on this day, June 21, in 2009, Eastman Kodak Company announced that it would discontinue sales of the Kodachrome Color Film. ___________________________________________________ Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) ___________________________________________________ Clinton's famous chocolate retriever, Buddy, was accidentally killed after being struck by a car It was an honest mistake Hillary thought Bill would be behind him when she stepped on the gas. ___________________________________________________ Two California gals went together to play the slot machines at the casino. Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the front of the casino and sit on the bench to wait for the other. Connie quickly lost all her money and went to sit on the bench. She waited and waited. After what seemed an eternity, she finally saw Lori coming toward her, carrying this huge sack of coins. "Hey, Connie," said Lori, "how'd you do?" "Not very good," came the reply. "I've been waiting here for hours." Lori said, "You should have been with me...did I ever find a good machine! It's way in the back. Come! I'll show it to you...you can't lose! Ever time you put a dollar in, you win four quarters!" ___________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Alan McShane, 37, Newcastle, UK DUI driver's Mercedes called cops and ambulance after he crashed An engineer has lost his licence after his car called 999 when he crashed while drunk.An engineer has lost his licence after his car called 999 when he crashed while drunk. Alan McShane, 37, was driving his companys 70,000 Mercedes EQC when he clipped the kerb, activating the airbags. The car, an electric SUV, said to him: Weve called emergency services, are you alright? Paramedics, the fire brigade, and police turned up at the scene and he was found to be more than three times over the legal limit for alcohol. McShane had gone out after work on May 16 to watch Newcastle Uniteds win against Arsenal. But prosecutor Sarah Malkinson said he was so drunk that he fell asleep while being seen to by health workers in hospital. Tests revealed McShane was more than three times the legal limit. McShane, a gas engineer, had not been intending to get drunk that evening, his lawyer Michael Henderson said. He told Newcastle Magistrates Court: He went to work on Monday morning, he worked throughout the day, its the old story of nothing to eat, very little to drink, and the plan of action was to go into town, have a meal, watch the game on television and go home. He drove into town in a company Mercedes vehicle, he wasnt concerned when he parked because he was going to drive it home The people he met didnt want to go for food, so he had a drink, and in the early hours of the morning he knew he had to drive the car to work, he was concerned about leaving it parked there because it wasnt his vehicle. He made a mistake. Fifteen minutes to drive home to Wallsend, thats what he thought, I will get the car. Obviously his judgment had been affected by the alcohol he had consumed. Lawyer Henderson described McShane as basically a hardworking man who made a significant mistake. McShane was banned from driving for over two years and ordered to pay 1,730 in fines and costs. Since September 2014, all new Mercedes have been fitted with an emergency call function that notifies rescue services automatically in the event of a serious crash. It can provide GPS position and additional information, such as the number of people in the vehicle and its direction of travel. ___________________________________________________ Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone. "Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up. The next morning, at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back. "Good morning, Mr. Williams. I just called to tell you that I don't HAVE a dog." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ___________________________________________________ In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son. As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child, "You know, if we really mess this up, we'll never have to do it again." ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other. The young man had noticed that the older man always seemed to have a jar of peanuts on his desk. The young man LOVED peanuts! One day while the older man was away from his desk the young man couldn't resist and went to the old man's jar and ate over half the peanuts. When the old man returned the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts. The old man responded, "That's ok since I lost my teeth all I can do is lick the chocolate off the M&M's." ____________________________________________________ Classic! 5 little hippies looking for a score, One smoked some rotten hash now there's only 4. 4 little hippies going on a spree, One went executive, now there's only 3. 3 little hippies smelling like a zoo, One copped some dial soap, now there's only 2 2 little hippies broke and on the run, One met a city cop, now there's only 1 1 little hippie stoned as he can be, Revealed his secret stash, now there's 43. ___________________________________________________ DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: John Re: Desktop icon Dear Webbby; Many years past you told us to make icon from url. Will it work on Windows 10.? John Dear John Yes.. Just drag the little padlock in the URL address line onto a convenient space on the desktop. Still works fine. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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________________________________________________ Two men were talking about their jobs. "The company where I work is putting in a computer system and it is going to put a lot of people out of work. Have they started that over where you work?" "Oh," said his friend, "We've been on computers for more than five years but they can't replace me. Nobody has been able to figure out exactly what I do." __________________________________________ Two men were talking about their jobs. "The company where I work is putting in a computer system and it is going to put a lot of people out of work. Have they started that over where you work?" "Oh," said his friend, "We've been on computers for more than five years but they can't replace me. Nobody has been able to figure out exactly what I do." _______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
| Today, June 22, in 1558, The French took the French town of Thioville from the English. 1611, English explorer Henry Hudson, his son and several other people were set adrift in present-day Hudson Bay by mutineers. 1772, Slavery was outlawed in England. 1807, British seamen board the USS Chesapeake, a provocation leading to the War of 1812. 1815, Napoleon Bonaparte abdicated a second time. 1832, J.I. Howe patented the pin machine. 1874, Dr. Andrew Taylor Still began the first known practice of osteopathy. 1909, The first transcontinental auto race ended in Seattle, WA. 1911, King George V of England was crowned. 1915, Austro-German forces occupied Lemberg on the Eastern Front as the Russians retreat. 1925, France and Spain agreed to join forces against Abd el Krim in Morocco. 1933, Germany became a one political party country when Hitler banned parties other than the Nazis. 1939, The first U.S. water-ski tournament was held at Jones Beach, on Long Island, New York. 1940, France and Germany signed an armistice at Compiegne, on terms dictated by the Nazis. 1941, Under the codename Barbarossa, Germany invaded the Soviet Union. 1942, A Japanese submarine shelled Fort Stevens at the mouth of the Columbia River. 1942, In France, Pierre Laval declared "I wish for a German victory". 1942, V-Mail, or Victory-Mail, was sent for the first time. 1944, U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed the "GI Bill of Rights" to provide broad benefits for veterans of the war. 1945, During World War II, the battle for Okinawa officially ended after 81 days. 1946, Jet airplanes were used to transport mail for the first time. 1956, The battle for Algiers began as three buildings in Casbah were blown up. 1964, The U.S. Supreme Court voted that Henry Miller's book, "Tropic of Cancer", could not be banned. 1970, U.S. President Richard Nixon signed an extension of the Voting Rights Act of 1965. It required that the voting age in the United States to be 18. 1973, Skylab astronauts splashed down safely in the Pacific after a record 28 days in space. 1974, In Chicago, the Sears Tower Skydeck opened. (Willis Tower) 1978, James W. Christy and Robert S. Harrington discovered the only known moon of Pluto. The moon is named Charon. 1980, The Soviet Union announced a partial withdrawal of its forces from Afghanistan. 1989, The government of Angola and the anti-Communist rebels of the UNITA movement agreed to a formal truce in their 14-year-old civil war. 1990, Checkpoint Charlie was dismantled in Berlin. 1992, The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that hate- crime laws that ban cross-burning and similar expressions of racial bias violated free-speech rights. 1998, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that evidence illegally obtained by authorities could be used at revocation hearings for a convicted criminal's parole. 1998, The 75th National Marbles Tournament began in Wildwood, NJ. 1999, The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that persons with remediable handicaps cannot claim discrimination in employment under the Americans with Disability Act. 2009, Eastman Kodak Company announced that it would discontinue sales of the Kodachrome Color Film. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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