Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, August 10 _____________________________________________________ Today, August 10 in 2003 Ekaterina Dmitriev and Russian cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko were married. Malenchenko was about 240 miles above the earth in the international space station. It was the first-ever marriage from space. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Indiana dope shot his penis _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Life improves slowly and goes wrong fast, and only catastrophe is clearly visible. --- Edward Teller (1908 - 2003) All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. --- Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC) _____________________________________________________ After my fifth-graders studied the history of the Alamo, I gave them a test with this bonus question: "What was the famous battle cry that later helped spur on independence for Texans?" One student's response: "Remember the alimony!" ______________________________________________________` DAMTC is the German version of AAA _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mark Anthony Jones, 47, Marion, Indiana Indiana dope shot his penis The Indiana man who accidentally shot himself in the penis with an unlicensed handgun has pleaded guilty to a weapons charge for which he was sentenced to 60 days in jail, according to court records. Mark Anthony Jones, 47, was arrested in late-February after the Hi-Point 9mm handgun he was carrying in his waistband discharged as he was walking on a street in Marion. Seen at right, Jones told cops that when the gun began to slip, he reached down to adjust the firearm, which then discharged. Police reported that, The bullet entered just above his penis and exited his scrotum. Jones, who was charged with carrying an unlicensed handgun, pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor count during an August 1 court appearance (at which he also copped to a separate driving with a suspended license rap). A Marion City Court judge sentenced Jones to 60 days in the county jail. Since Jones was already in custody, his housing arrangements have not changed post-plea. Weeks after shooting himself, Jones was arrested on a complaint charging him with dealing methamphetamine. Since that felony collar, Jones has been incarcerated in the Grant County jail in lieu of $30,000 bond. He is scheduled for trial in mid-November on the drug charge. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Roseann Re: Difference between B and EM in Html Dear Webby, I know you are an HTML wiz from way back. Nobody can give me a straight answer about this, but most say it is the same. What really IS the difference between B and EM for bolding text on pages? Thanks Roseann Dear Roseann For beginners, it IS the same. For pros, each one can be configured in the CSS (Cascading Style Sheets) to be something different. You can for example set B to just bold the text and put it into Arial font, and set EM to extra bold it, set it into Comics font, Large, Italic, make it red, and give it a yellow background. The reason for having two is just to have an extra tag that can be custom configured. If you need more, you can custom configure the H1 to H7 tags Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Little Tony was so happy to see his grandmother that he ran up and gave her a big hug. "I'm so happy to see you, grandma. Now daddy will have to do that trick he's been promising to do!" His grandmother was curious. "What trick is that, sweetie?" The little guy smiled at her, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thanks to Sandie for this story: A fisherman is returning home with several large fish in his creel. A guy comes along and asks, "You been fishing?" "Uh, yeah." "What bait you using?" "Chewin' tobacco." "How'd you use chewin' tobacco as bait?" "I put the tobacco on the hook and drop the hook in the water. The fish nibble on the bait and when they come up to spit, I hit 'em on the head with my rod." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Selling a Car to a Private Party If you sell a car to a private party, make sure to transfer the title. If you don't do this, and the car ends up on the side of the road or in a ditch, you will have to pay for any fines or impound feeds associated with the vehicle. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Awesome Archive Ep. 15 | The Best of People Are Awesome! |
___________________________________________________ The new bride had spent two hours preparing her first breakfast. She sat down at the table, eagerly watching as her husband slowly savored each forkful. "How was it, honey?" she asked when he'd finished. "Well," he began thoughtfully, wiping his lips, "you probably could have beaten the eggshells a little longer, but on the whole, it was a good start!" ___________________________________________________ A man goes to see the doctor because he has a sore throat. The nurse tells him to take all his clothes off and sit on the bench in the hall. The man tries to protest, but the nurse doesn't listen and just repeats the same orders then leaves the area. The man complies with her orders and joins another naked man sitting on the bench. The man starts complaining to the man already sitting there, that he only has a sore throat and doesn't understand why he has to take all his clothes off. The man who was already sitting on the bench nude, looks at the other man and says "You think that's bad, I'm the plumber and just here to deliver my bill." ___________________________________________________ "Skipper," the sailor said to his captain as he saluted, "A special message just came in for you from the admiral. I have it right here." "Read it to me," the captain ordered. The sailor read, "You are without a doubt the most idiotic, lame-brained officer ever to command a ship in the United States Navy." The skipper responded, "Have that communication decoded immediately." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, August 10 in 1792 King Louis XVI was taken into custody by mobs during the French Revolution. He was executed the following January after being put on trial for treason. 1809 Ecuador began its fight for independence from Spain. 1846 The Smithsonian Institution was chartered by the U.S. Congress. The "Nation's Attic" was made possible by $500,000 given by scientist Joseph Smithson. 1859 In Boston, MA, the first milk inspectors were appointed. 1869 The motion picture projector was patented by O.B. Brown. 1881 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Paris Electrical Exhibition. 1885 The first electric streetcar, to be used commercially, was operated in Baltimore, MD, by Leo Daft. 1914 Austria-Hungary invaded Russia. 1921 Franklin D. Roosevelt was stricken with polio. 1927 Mount Rushmore was formally dedicated. The individual faces of the presidents were dedicated later. 1944 U.S. forces defeated the remaining Japanese resistance on Guam. 1945 The day after the atomic bombing of Nagasaki, Japan announced they would surrender. The only condition was that the status of Emperor Hirohito would remain unchanged. 1947 William Odom completed an around-the-world flight. He set the solo record by completing the flight in 73 hours and 5 minutes. 1948 On ABC, "Candid Camera" made its TV debut. The original title was "Candid Microphone." 1954 Construction began on the St. Lawrence Seaway. 1965 In Austin, TX, a fire burned part of the 20th floor of the 27-story University of Texas main building. A collection that contained items once owned by escape artist Harry Houdini and circus magnate P. T. Barnum were damaged by smoke and water. 1988 U.S. President Reagan signed a measure that provided $20,000 payments to Japanese-Americans who were interned by the U.S. government during World War II. 1994 U.S. President Clinton claimed presidential immunity when he asked a federal judge to dismiss, at least for the time being, a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by Paula Corbin Jones. 1995 Norma McCorvey, "Jane Roe" of the 1973 U.S. Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion, announced that she had joined the anti-abortion group Operation Rescue. 1999 Near an India-Pakistan border area an Indian fighter jet shot down a Pakistani naval aircraft. Sixteen people were killed. 2003 Ekaterina Dmitriev and Russian cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko were married. Malenchenko was about 240 miles above the earth in the international space station. It was the first-ever marriage from space. 2019 Do smiled. |
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