Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, September 22 It is now legal for women to go topless in Utah, Colorado, Wyoming, New Mexico, Kansas, and Oklahoma. In Kansas you can b bottomless too, however, you can't sue the Government if your goodies freeze and fall off. ____________________________________________________ Today, September 22 in 1792 The French Republic was proclaimed. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you lcan help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Shoplifter caught making topless getaway _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in. --- Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519) _______________________________________________ Little Johnny burst into the drug store and shouted excitedly, "My father is being chased by a bull!" "What do you want me to do about it?" gasped the startled clerk. "Quick," Johnny exclaimed, "put a fresh memory chip into my camera!" ________________________________________________` Cuban Tody ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Courtney Backes, 32, Okaloosa Island, Floriduh Shoplifter caught making topless getaway A theft suspect who made her getaway on a bicycle was arrested last night when a sheriff's deputy spotted her riding topless down the middle of a Florida highway, police report. According to cops, a woman last night stole $19.99 flip flops and other merchandise from a clothing store on Okaloosa Island. A worker at Surfside Outfitters told investigators that the suspect placed one item into her bag and then walked out of the business wearing the stolen shoes around 7 PM. The employee, cops reported, said the shoplifter was last seen riding away, through the parking lot, on a bicycle. After the shoplifting episode, several callers to 911 reported that a woman was riding her bicycle erratically down the middle of Highway 98, a two-lane road that runs through the island. When a sheriff's deputy pulled alongside the bicycle, the rider was not wearing a shirt. When the cop asked the woman to pull over, she replied, Make me. In short order, the deputy pulled ahead of the rider and eventually wrestled her off the bicycle and took her into custody. The topless suspect was identified as Courtney Backes, 32. Seen in the above Instagram photo, Backes--who was found in possession of the stolen goods--was charged with retail theft and resisting arrest without violence, both misdemeanors. She was released from the county jail this morning on $1000 bond. According to her Facebook page, Backes, whose rap sheet includes a 2015 DUI conviction, works as a bartender at a Marriott hotel. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Sharon Re: Difference between Wall Paper and Screen Saver Dear Webby, By the way, is there a difference between screensavers & wallpapers or are they the same? Have a purrfect day, Sharon Dear Sharon Wallpaper is what you see if your open programs are not covering the entire screen. It is actually a table cloth for the desktop, but Microsoft calls it wall paper. Nobody knows why. A screensaver is a program designed to amuse dust motes, attract nocturnal insects and use electricity. It is a hang-over from the days of the greenie monitors in the 70's and 80's, that used to burn the phosphor in the screen if you left them on with the DisplayWrite menu showing, while you went on maternity leave. When you came back a year later, it showed the menu even if you turned it off. To prevent that, we wrote screen savers that kept the screen moving. In the days before graphics, we made some silly text scroll endlessly, then from the mid 80's on we used some goofy ever changing graphics. Sceen savers became obsolete in 95, when you could set the power options to turn the monitor display off automatically, if you didn't use the computer for a certain amount of time. However, some people feel obliged to amuse the dust motes and nocturnal insects, and to use electricity. They still use screensavers. Personally, when I am not near the computer for longer than it takes to make a pot of coffee, I have the monitor set to turn off automatically. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune once his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few months, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." Impressed, the woman obtained his business card. Three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at estate planning than men. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Frantic Woman on phone: "Doctor, my Son just swallowed a nickel, and he's coughing up dimes. What do I do?!?" Doctor: "Keep feeding him Nickels!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Strong Necklace Thread Tired of your necklace or bracelet breaking? Restring it with fishing line. Fishing line is very strong and inexpensive. It is also clear so you don't have to worry about matching colors. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Spectacular Photos From The Revamped Hubble Telescope |
___________________________________________________ A paramedic was asked on a local TV talk-show program: "What was your most unusual and challenging 911 call?" "Recently we got a call from that big white church at 11th and Walnut," the paramedic said. "A frantic usher was very concerned that during the sermon an elderly man passed out in a pew and appeared to be dead. The usher could find no pulse and there was no noticeable breathing." "What was so unusual and demanding about this particular call?" the interviewer asked. "Well," the paramedic said, "we carried out eight guys before we found the one who was dead." ___________________________________________________ Dwayne, his wife, and Dwayne's mother-in-law went camping. Dwayne's wife announced that her mother had been gone on her stroll in the woods way too long. So the two of them went looking for her. After a while they spotted a gigantic, ferocious grizzly bear squared off with the mother-in-law! Immediately the daughter said to her husband, in a frantic voice, "Dwayne you gotta do something, or there's gonna be trouble fer sure!" Dewayne calmly said, "Nah, those grizzllies are a lot tougher than they look. He'll live." ___________________________________________________ Monica N. wrote: "... I was wandering around the 'net recently, and GOSH! I found a whole bunch of PHILATELISTS. And then I discovered groups populated by THESPIANS and HOMO SAPIENS. And I found hundreds -- not dozens, but HUNDREDS -- of educational institutions funded by MY TAX DOLLARS... teaching people to MATRICULATE. We need to pass laws to control the Internet and protect our children!" __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, September 22 in 1792 The French Republic was proclaimed. 1862 U.S. President Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation Proclamation. It stated that all slaves held within rebel states would be free as of January 1, 1863. 1903 Italo Marchiony was granted a patent for the ice cream cone. 1914 Three British cruisers were sunk by one German submarine in the North Sea. 1,400 British sailors were killed. This event alerted the British to the effectiveness of the submarine. 1927 In Chicago, IL, Gene Tunney successfully defended his heavyweight boxing title against Jack Dempsey in the famous "long-count" fight. 1949 The Soviet Union exploded its first atomic bomb successfully. 1955 Commercial television began in Great Britain. The rules said that only six minutes of ads were allowed each hour and there was no Sunday morning TV permitted. 1961 U.S. President John F. Kennedy signed a congressional act that established the Peace Corps. 1964 "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." debuted on NBC-TV. 1966 The U.S. lunar probe Surveyor 2 crashed into the moon. 1980 A border conflict between Iran and Iraq developed into a full-scale war. 1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan addressed the U.N. General Assembly and voiced a new hope for arms control. He also criticized the Soviet Union for arresting U.S. journalist Nicholas Daniloff. 1988 Canada's government apologized for the internment of Japanese-Canadian's during World War II. They also promised compensation. 1990 Saudi Arabia expelled most of the Yememin and Jordanian envoys in Riyadh. The Saudi accusations were unspecific. 1991 An article in the London newspaper "The Mail" revealed that John Cairncross admitted to being the "fifth man" in the Soviet Union's British spy ring. 1992 The U.N. General Assembly expelled Yugoslavia for its role in the war between Bosnia and Herzegovina. 1994 The U.S. upgraded its military control in Haiti. 1998 The U.S. and Russia signed two agreements. One was to privatize Russia's nuclear program and the other was to stop plutonium stockpiles and nuclear scientists from leaving the country. 1998 U.S. President Clinton addressed the United Nations and told world leaders to "end all nuclear tests for all time". He then sent the long-delayed global test-ban treaty to the U.S. Senate. 2019 Do smiled. |
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