Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, November 26 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Floriduh girl, 2, 'screamed and cried while being raped by dad for dark web video' ______________________________________________________ Today, November 26 in 1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN forces to retreat. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) Political correctness is the coward's substitute for integrity. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they promised they would take care of it, mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?" After a moment, her five-year-old son replied quizzically, "Uh, once?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this story: Our family owned restaurant is the setting for many of our discussions about how to handle the customer who asks, "What's good tonight?" Obviously, we would never serve anything we didn't think was good. I braced myself one Saturday night when I heard the dreaded question posed to my husband. He calmly replied, "Anything over $13.95." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid session and begins to shout, "Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!" All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member accepted and said, "Okay, I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by James Lockhart, 30, Manatee County, Floriduh Floriduh girl, 2, 'screamed and cried while being raped by dad for dark web video' A two year-old girl 'screamed and cried' while being raped by her father in an eight minute video he uploaded to the dark web, police say. Horrifying details of the abuse the toddler allegedly suffered at the hands of her father James Lockhart were outlined as it was revealed he faces the death penalty if convicted of the abuse. A criminal complaint seen by WFLA explained: 'The video documents the rape. 'The toddler continues to scream and cry.' According to the Miami Herald, Lockhart, 30, also made posts on securely encrypted web pages detailing his sexual experiences with a young girl and boy, while asking for suggestions of things he could do and promising future updates. Homeland Security officers traced Lockhart to his home through instant messaging service Kik on October 5. They showed the alleged pedophile's wife clips with the little girl's face blurred out. She is said to have instantly recognized her daughter, her husband's hand, their couch and the girl's stuffed animal toy, an indictment claims. Further analysis proved that the hand in the video matched Lockhart's, with handwriting analysis further showing that the father's script matched a handwritten sign seen on-screen. The girl alleged to have been abused and her twin brother were taken into custody on the day of their father's arrest. An indictment seen by the Herald explained that Lockhart was initially investigated by Boston-based agents trying to track down the people behind child abuse clips. The suspect is said to have made other postings under the name HardWood. Manatee County Sheriff's Office say Lockhart is facing numerous charges, including capital sexual battery meaning he could be put to death if convicted. From:Nita Re: Directdbnotifywndproc Dear Webby Everytime I go on line my computer is busy with the following "Directdbnotifywndproc". This runs for over an hour. Do you know what this is & how to remove it? Computer is a new Dell with XP Home. Thank you kindly, Happy New Year, Nita Dear Nita That problem is normal with computers that have Outlook Depressed and Computer Associates spyware loaded. >From what I read, that problem goes away when the user outgrows either of those two programs. Until you do, keep your mail backed up far away from Outlook Depressed. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. After the Great Britain Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sat down at the bar and said to the bartender, "Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusted off a bottle from the shelf and gave it to him. The head of Budweiser said, "I'd like the best beer in the world. Give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gave him one. The Coors chief said, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." The bartender got it. The Guinness man sat down and said, "Give me a Coke." The bartender was a little taken aback, but gave it to him. The other brewery presidents looked at him and asked, "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" The Guinness president replied, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I." If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | | The right side of a boat was called the starboard side due to the fact that the astro-navigators used to stand out on a plank (which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of the stars. The left side was called the port side, because that was the side that they put toward the dock when they pulled into port. This was so they didn't knock off the starboard. Actually, it goes back a lot further than that. In the days before personal firearms, ships had a stair going upstairs to where the captain and the officers were. That stair was always on the right side. Access to the stair was through a tunnel from the port side, forcing any pirates or enemies to attack in single file before getting to the stair. Later, when they got canons, those were always on the port side, never on the stair side. The powder was usually stored downstairs on the stair side, because a shot into the powder magazine usually sunk the ship. Good old days! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Buying Big Ticket Items The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed. "I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'" "Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!" "I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too!" 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________  | Astronomy Picture of the Day | ___________________________________________________ A protestor said to his girlfriend, "I'm on my way to pick up my unemployment check. Then I've got to go to the university to see what's holding up this month's Federal Education Grant. Meanwhile you can go over to the Free Clinic and check up on your tests. And right after I stop by the Welfare Department to see if they will up our eligibility limit again I'll meet you at the Federal Building for the demonstration against this rotten, oppressive Republican establishment....!" ___________________________________________________ A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This", he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste." After saying this, he dipped a finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth. After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger in to the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth." ___________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. | At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate B35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate E41." So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate E41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate B35. So again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program." Today November 26 in 1716 The first lion to be exhibited in America went on display in Boston, MA. 1789 U.S. President Washington set aside this day to observe the adoption of the Constitution of the United States. 1832 Public streetcar service began in New York City. 1867 J.B. Sutherland patented the refrigerated railroad car. 1917 The National Hockey League (NHL) was officially formed in Montreal, Canada. 1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter peered into the tomb of King Tutankhamen. 1940 The Nazis forced 500,000 Jews of Warsaw, Poland to live within a walled ghetto. 1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered nationwide gasoline rationing to begin December 1. 1942 The motion picture "Casablanca" had its world premiere at the Hollywood Theater in New York City. 1943 The HMS Rohna became the first ship to be sunk by a guided missile. The German missile attack led to the death of 1,015 U.S. troops. 1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN forces to retreat. 1958 Maurice Richard (Montreal Canadiens) scored his 600th NHL career goal. 1965 France became the third country to enter space when it launched its first satellite the Diamant-A. 1975 Lynette"Squeaky" Fromme was found guilty by a federal jury in Sacramento, CA, for trying to assassinate U.S. President Ford on September 5. 1979 The International Olympic Committee voted to re-admit China after a 21-year absence. 1983 A Brinks Mat Ltd. vault at London's Heathrow Airport was robbed by gunmen. The men made off with 6,800 gold bars worth nearly $40 million. Only a fraction of the gold has ever been recovered and only two men were convicted in the heist. 1985 The rights to Richard Nixon's autobiography were acquired by Random House for $3,000,000. 1988 The U.S. denied an entry visa to PLO chairman Yasser Arafat, who was seeking permission to travel to New York to address the U.N. General Assembly. 1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev met with Iraqi Foreign Minister Tariq Aziz at the Kremlin to demand that Iraq withdraw from Kuwait. 1990 Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. agreed to acquire MCA Inc. for $6.6 billion. 1992 The British government announced that Queen Elizabeth II had volunteered to start paying taxes on her personal income. She also took her children off the public payroll. 1995 Two men set fire to a subway token booth in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. The clerk inside was fatally burned. 1997 The U.S. and North Korea held high-level discussions at the State Department for the first time. 1998 Hulk Hogan announced that he was retiring from pro wrestling and would run for president in 2000. 2003 The U.N. atomic agency adopted a resolution that censured Iran for past nuclear cover-ups and warning that it would be policed to put to rest suspicions that the country had a nuclear weapons agenda. 2011 The Mars Science Laboratory/Curiosity spacecraft launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL. The Mars rover Curiosity landed on the floor of Gale Crater on August 6, 2012. 2018 Do smiled. |
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