Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, May 25 _____________________________________________________ Today, May 25 in 1085 Alfonso VI took Toledo, Spain from the Moslems. 1997 Poland adopted a constitution that removed all traces of communism. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Motorist Explains To Detectives Why He Did Not Pull Over When Squad Car Lights Flashed ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole. --- Bobcat Goldthwaite _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a martini to the amazement of the bartender. When the bartender gives the gorilla the martini, he's further surprised to see that the ape is holding a $20 bill. The bartender takes the $20, then he decides to see just how smart the gorilla is, so he hands the gorilla on $1 change. The gorilla quietly sips the martini until the bartender breaks the silence. We don't get too many apes in here, he says. The gorilla replies, At $19 a drink, I'm not surprised. ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rhonda Koppenhoefer, 55, Fort Pierce, Florida Motorist Explains To Detectives Why He Did Not Pull Over When Squad Car Lights Flashed Despite being tailed by a squad car with its lights flashing, a motorist told cops that he did not immediately pull over after running a red light because his pants were down and he was receiving sexual acts from his female passenger, according to an arrest affidavit. David Herring was behind the wheel of a Ford F-150 truck last Tuesday evening when he went through a red light at an intersection in Fort Pierce, Florida. Police detectives spotted the traffic infraction and activated their car's emergency lights. Herring, who did not immediately pull over, later told police that it took him so long to stop the vehicle and his pants were down because he was receiving sexual acts from Rhonda while he was driving. The Rhonda in question was Rhonda Koppenhoefer, 55, who had a Bud Light bottle between her legs and a crack pipe and crack rocks at her feet. The 4' 11 , 90-pound Koppenhoefer is pictured above. While Koppenhoefer denied ownership of the pipe, Herring said she dropped it when police sought to pull over the vehicle. Koppenhoefer subsequently admitted purchasing the cocaine found in the truck, police reported. When a detective first contacted Koppenhoefer, he observed something white rolling around in her mouth. The report does not indicate whether the item was a crack rock or another substance. Koppenhoefer was arrested for cocaine possession, tampering with evidence, and possession or use of drug equipment, all felonies. She is locked up in lieu of $35,000 bond. Koppenhoefer's rap sheet includes multiple convictions for prostitution, as well as convictions for burglary, narcotics possession, dealing in stolen property, and possession of drug paraphernalia. Court records do not reflect any traffic charges being filed against Herring, so it appears the Fort Pierce man has gotten off. DearWebby's tech Support Pits From: Shonda Re: Does CrapCleaner delete pictures Dear Webby, I download the c cleaner, will this make away with my pictures I have saved to my cp, if I do a clean up. Thank You Shonda Dear Shonda No, CrapCleaner does not touch pictures. It cleans left-over fragments from closed programs, which still hang in the RAM memory, and whatever you see in the list that it shows you. Take the checkmark off the cookies. All other defaults are fine as they are. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed. "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his hand. "We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?" "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Can you pay in cash?" "I'm afraid I can't, Sister." "Do you have any close relatives, then?" "Just my sister in New Mexico," the patient replied. "But she's a spinster nun." "Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied. "They are married to God." "Okay," the man said with a smile. "Then send the bill to my brother-in-law." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A Father, passing through his son's college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window. "Whaddya want?" "Does Jimmy Duncan live here?" asked the father. "Yeah!" replied the voice. "Just dump him on the front porch. We'll hose him down and drag him in in the morning." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Muddy Foot Prints on Carpet Here's a tip for dealing with wet, muddy foot print on carpet. Sprinkle cornstarch over the foot print and let it dry. Once dry, vacuum up the cornstarch. In any case, mud is always much easier to remove when it is dry, if you try to clean it when it is wet, you just spread it around. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Waxing eloquent on the dangers of sinning, one dynamic young preacher boomed to the congregation from the pulpit, "Brothers and sisters, if there are any among you who have sinned and are unrepentant, may your tongue cleave to the woof of your mouf!" ___________________________________________________ A golf match is a test of your hard earned skill against your opponent's dumb luck. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
The action movie had a spectacular scene where the bad guy blew up a convenience store. The building and the gas pumps in front were engulfed in a huge ball of fire. "Wow!" my husband gasped. I was about to say, "That was a pretty impressive explosion," when he continued, "Did you see the price of regular? A dollar eighty-nine a gallon!" ___________________________________________________ | Today May 25 in 585 BC The first known and recorded prediction of a solar eclipse was made in Greece. 1085 Alfonso VI took Toledo, Spain from the Moslems. 1787 The Constitutional convention opened in Philadelphia with George Washington presiding. 1810 Argentina declared independence from Napoleonic Spain. 1844 The gasoline engine was patented by Stuart Perry. 1844 The first telegraphed news dispatch, sent from Washington, DC, to Baltimore, MD, appeared in the Baltimore "Patriot." 1895 Oscar Wilde, a playwright, poet and novelist, was convicted of a morals charge and sentenced to prison in London. 1895 James P. Lee first published "Gold in America- A Practical Manual." 1925 John Scopes was indicted for teaching the Darwinian theory in school. 1927 Ford Motor Company announced that the Model A would replace the Model T. 1927 The "Movietone News" was shown for the first time at the Sam Harris Theatre in New York City. 1946 Jordan gained independence from Britain. 1953 In Nevada, the first atomic cannon was fired. 1961 America was asked by U.S. President Kennedy to work toward putting a man on the moon before the end of the decade. 1963 The Organization of African Unity was founded, in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. 1968 The Gateway Arch, part of the Jefferson National Expansion Memorial in St. Louis, MO, was dedicated. 1970 Boeing Computer Services was founded. 1977 "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope" opened and became the largest grossing film to date. 1977 An opinion piece by Vietnam verteran Jan Scruggs appeared in "The Washington Post." The article called for a national memorial to "remind an ungrateful nation of what it has done to its sons" that had served in the Vietnam War. 1979 An American Airlines DC-10 crashed during takeoff at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport. 275 people were killed. 1981 Daredevil Daniel Goodwin scaled Chicago's Sears Tower, while wearing a "Spiderman" costume, in 7 1/2 hours. 1983 "The Return of the Jedi" opened nationwide. It set a new record in opening day box office sales. The gross was $6,219,629. 1985 Bangladesh was hit with a hurricane and tidal wave that killed more than 11,000 people. 1986 Approximately 7 million Americans participated in "Hands Across America." 1989 The Calgary Flames won their first NHL Stanley Cup by defeating the Montreal Canadiens. 1996 In Nimes, France, Christina Sanchez became the first woman to achieve the rank of matadore in Europe. 1997 In Sierra Leone a military coup overthrew the popularly elected President Ahmad Tejan Kabbah. He was replaced with Major Johnny Paul Koromah. 1997 U.S. Senator Strom Thurmond became the longest-serving senator in U.S. history (41 years and 10 months). 1997 Poland adopted a constitution that removed all traces of communism. 1999 A report by the U.S. House of Representatives Select Committee on U.S. National Security and Military/Commercial Concerns with the People's Republic of China concluded that China had "stolen design information on the U.S. most-advanced thermonuclear weapons" and that China's penetration of U.S. weapons laboratories "spans at least the past several decades and almost certainly continues today." 2000 The Walt Disney Co. and Time Warner Inc. signed a long-term deal that ended a dispute over the airing policies of Time Warner. Time Warner had blacked out Disney programs for a 39 hour period the previous month due to the lack of an agreement. 2001 Erik Weihenmayer, 32, of Golden, CO, became the first blind climber to reach the summit of Mount Everest. 2001 Sherman Bull, 64, of New Canaan, CT, became the oldest climber to reach the summit of Mount Everest. 2006 In Houston, former Enron Corp. chiefs Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skillinng were convicted of conspiracy and fraud for the downfall of Enron. 2008 NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander landed in the arctic plains of Mars. 2009 North Korea announced that it had conducted a second successful nuclear test in the province of North Hamgyong. The United Nations Security Council condemned the reported test. 2019 Do smiled. |
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