Good Morning, Do! Today is Wedmesday, December 29 Thank you, Nancy!! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Shoestore robber arrested ____________________________________________________ Today, December 29, in 1952 The first transistorized hearing aid was offered for sale by Sonotone Corporation. ____________________________________________________ A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes. --- James Feibleman ____________________________________________________ Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign was kept lit during the whole journey, although the flight was a particularly smooth one. Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it. "Well," she explained, "up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend. In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees . . . What would you do?" ____________________________________________________ Juvenile Osprey, Alberta ____________________________________________________ A pastor was giving the children's lesson during a sunday morning service on the Ten Commandments. After explaining the commandment to "honor they father and thy mother," he asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one five-year old boy answered loudly, "Thou shalt not kill!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Holly Ailiff, 38, Prescott, Arizona, USA Woman arrested for robbing Prescott shoe store employees at gunpoint A woman was arrested after police say she pointed a gun at two shoe store employees in Prescott before getting away with cash and shoes. According to police, 38-year-old Holly Ailiff went into the Journey's shoe store at the Prescott Gateway Mall on Dec. 24 and asked employees to set aside several pairs of shoes for her. She then said she would have to wait for her husband to arrive in order to pay for the shoes. Ailiff left the store and returned 40 minutes later with a handgun. She pointed the gun at the employees and demanded cash from the registers. Ailiff ordered the employees to carry the cash and shoes and put them in the trunk of her car before she left the scene. The employees then called police and gave them a description of the suspect's vehicle. Officers were able to locate the vehicle in the downtown area. "Ailiff admitted her involvement in this incident and was booked into Yavapai County Jail on felony charges of Armed Robbery, Aggravated Assault and Kidnapping," police said in a news release. All of the stolen items from the store, including over $3,700 in cash and $1,500 in shoes, were recovered. A handgun was also found in the vehicle. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Fran Re: Don't call back to spammers Dear Webby All those things you mentioned for harassing spammers are good fun, especially using text to voice to let Elmer Fudd cuss at them, but that confirms that your number is live and that they got through to you, and that they can sell your number to other spammers. Using MailWasher to make a filter to nuke them on the server is much smarter. That looks to dem like a dead number. You recomened that about a dozen years ago and I have been doing that ever since. Now I just look at the pie char and chuckle. Fran Dear Fran You are right, of course. You can use Elmer Fudd on your Ex-MILs and stores, that are a nuisance. Have FUN! DearWebby Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm, and Little Johnny asked his mom, "Where did we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny." Johnny said, "Well I can see why they threw HIM out!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A man comes into the hospital ER and yells "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" Doc grabbed his kit, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly he noticed that there were several cabs, and he was in the wrong one. ______________________________________________ One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A doctor placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," he instructed. "Yeth, they uthed to be," she replied remorsefully. ___________________________________________________ | Today, December 29, in 1170 St. Thomas Becket, the 40th archbishop of Canterbury, was murdered in his own cathedral by four knights acting on Henry II's orders. 1812 The USS Constitution won a battle with the British ship HMS Java about 30 miles off the coast of Brazil. Before Commodore William Bainbridge ordered the sinking of the Java he had her wheel removed to replace the one the Constitution had lost during the battle. 1813 The British burned Buffalo, NY, during the War of 1812. 1837 Canadian militiamen destroyed the Caroline, a U.S. steamboat docked at Buffalo, NY. 1845 U.S. President James Polk signed legislation making Texas the 28th state of the United States. 1848 U.S. President James Polk turned on the first gas light at the White House. 1851 The first American Young Men's Christian Association was organized, in Boston, MA. 1860 The HMS Warrior, Britain's first seagoing iron-hulled warship, was launched. 1888 The first performance of Macbeth took place at the Lyceum Theatre. 1890 The U.S. Seventh Cavalry massacred over 400 men, women and children at Wounded Knee Creek, SD. This was the last major conflict between Indians and U.S. troops. 1895 The Jameson Raid from Mafikeng into Transvaal, which attempted to overthrow Kruger's Boer government, started. 1911 Sun Yat-sen became the first president of a republican China. 1913 "The Unwelcome Throne" was released by Selig's Polyscope Company. This was a moving picture and the first serial motion picture. 1934 Japan renounced the Washington Naval Treaty of 1922 and the London Naval Treaty of 1930. 1940 During World War II, Germany began dropping incendiary bombs on London. 1945 The mystery voice of Mr. Hush was heard for the first time on the radio show, "Truth or Consequences", hosted by Ralph Edwards. 1945 Sheb Wooley recorded the first commercial record made in Nashville, TN. 1949 KC2XAK of Bridgeport, Connecticut became the first ultrahigh frequency (UHF) television station to begin operating on a regular daily schedule. 1952 The first transistorized hearing aid was offered for sale by Sonotone Corporation. 1975 A bomb exploded in the main terminal of New York's LaGuardia Airport. 11 people were killed. 1986 The Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables, FL, reopened for business after eighteen years and $47 million expended on restoration. 1989 Following Hong Kong's decision to forcibly repatriate some Vietnamese refugees, thousands of Vietnamese 'boat people' battled with riot police. 1989 Vaclav Havel was elected president of Czechoslovakia by the country's Federal Assembly. He was the first non- Communist to hold the position in more than four decades. 1996 The Guatemalan government and leaders of the leftist Guatemalan National Revolutionary Union signed a peace accord in Guatemala City, ending a civil war that had lasted 36 years. 1997 Hong Kong began killing 1.25 million chickens, the entire population, for fear of the spread of 'bird flu.' 1998 Khmer Rouge leaders apologized for the 1970s genocide in Cambodia that claimed 1 million lives. 2021 Do smiled. |
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