Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, August 15 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ California man raped 8-year-old girl before grandfather chased him out of house ___________________________________________________ Today, August 15 in 1961 East German workers began construction of the Berlin wall ____________________________________________________ To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. --- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956) Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them. --- Paul Valery ____________________________________________________ The stockbroker was nervous about being in prison because hiscellmate looked like a real thug. "Don't worry," the gruff looking fellow said, "I'm in here for a white collar crime too." "Well, that's a relief," sighed the stockbroker. "I was sent to prison for fraud and insider trading." "Oh nothing fancy like that for me," grinned the convict. "I just murdered a couple of priests and a shrink." ____________________________________________________ Buff Laced Polish Chicken ____________________________________________________ A man realizes he needs to buy a hearing aid, but he is unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asks the clerk. "That depends," says the salesman. "They run from $2 to $4,000." "Let's see the $2 model," the customer says. The clerk puts the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he says. "How does it work?" the customer asks. "For $2, it doesn't work," the salesman replies. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dupree Kenneth Hornsby, 24, San Jose, California, USA California man raped 8-year-old girl before grandfather chased him out of house San Jose police in California have arrested a man accused of breaking into a family's home earlier this month and raping an 8-year-old girl before her grandfather chased him out of the house, according to authorities. Dupree Kenneth Hornsby, 24, is accused of breaking into the victim's home on Aug. 6 around 7:30 a.m. PT on the 100 block of Damsen Drive, where he found her playing in her room, at which point he sexually assaulted her, according to the district attorney's office. "This nightmare of a crime has shaken all of us," District Attorney Jeff Rosen said in an Aug. 10 statement. "The alert police officer who saw and arrested this predator just hours later, and before anyone else was hurt, is a credit to the badge and our community." Once Hornsby finished assaulting the child, she ran to her grandfather, who chased the suspect out of their house, according to The Mercury News. Hornsby has no ties to the juvenile victim nor her family, according to the San Jose Police Department and district attorney. The victim, who was interviewed and treated for injuries at the District Attorneys Child Advocacy Center, gave an accurate description of Hornsby to police, who were able to locate him in the surrounding area less than two hours later at 9:10 a.m. PT. The suspect was arraigned on Tuesday and faces life in prison if convicted, unless Newsom releases him soon. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ A man realizes he needs to buy a hearing aid, but he is unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asks the clerk. "That depends," says the salesman. "They run from $2 to $4,000." "Let's see the $2 model," the customer says. The clerk puts the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he says. "How does it work?" the customer asks. "For $2, it doesn't work," the salesman replies. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder." ______________________________________________________ Groan Alert One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful. "I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey." "That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws." "I am the most powerful," said the skunk, "because with a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you." Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all: hawk, lion, and stinker. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donny RE: Download W10 without installing it Dear Webby, Thanks for your newsletter - don't miss a day! Do you know if there is a way to 'download' the free Windows 10 to a disc without actually installing it ? Thanks for all your previous "tips"" - have used a lot of them! Thanks again, Donny Dear Donny Why would you want to download W10 to a disk? The installation requires you to be online anyway. Don't worry about the "free" gimmick. It's not YOU who needs W10. Microsoft and their Chinese computer factories need you to install W10 to increase their profits. Simply hang tough until you buy a new computer. It will be strong enough to handle W10, and it will have W10 factory installed BEFORE it leaves China. There is a major update to W10 scheduled for Fall. Don't do anything until that update has been out for half a year and the bugs in it fixed. Have FUN! DearWebby Groan Alert One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful. "I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey." "That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws." "I am the most powerful," said the skunk, "because with a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you." Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all: hawk, lion, and stinker. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ >From Connie Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you'll find a hairstylist you like. Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. ____________________________________________ Gramma Liz went to her first show at an art gallery and was looking at the paintings. One was a huge canvas that was black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting was a murky gray color with drips of purple paint streaked across it. Gramma Liz walked over to the artist and said, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," the artist explained. Gramma Liz looked at the paintings again, then just before stalking off said to him: "If you can't learn to cook at least eat your pizza before it turns green!" ____________________________________________ Deep in the woods of Tennessee on a country road, a speeder hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in his hand.The speeder looks at the owner sheepishly and says, "Looks as if I killed your dog." "Sure does." "I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?" "I wouldn't say that." "Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be enough?" "Well, I don't know." "Two hundred dollars. That should do it." "Sounds good." The speeder reached into his pocket and came up with the money. Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry I spoiled your plans to go hunting." "I wasn't going hunting. I was heading out to the woods to put that 18 year old mangy mutt out of his misery." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, August 15, in 1057 Macbeth, the King of Scotland, was killed by the son of King Duncan. 1848 The dental chair was patented by M. Waldo Hanchett. 1877 Thomas Edison wrote to the president of the Telegraph Company in Pittsburgh, PA. The letter stated that the word, "hello" would be a more appropriate greeting than "ahoy" when answering the telephone. 1911 The product Crisco was introduced by Procter & Gamble Company. 1914 The Panama Canal was officially opened to commercial traffic as an American ship sailed from the Atlantic to the Pacific Ocean. The first vessel to pass through the canal was the American cargo and passenger ship SS Ancon. 1918 Diplomatic ties between the U.S. and Russia were severed. 1935 Will Rogers and Wiley Post were killed in an airplane crash near Point Barrow, AK. 1939 "The Wizard of Oz" premiered in Hollywood, CA. Judy Garland became famous for the movie's song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." 1943 Because of his special talent to use food scraps in both unusual and appetizing recipes, the U.S. War Department awarded Sgt. Edward Dzuba the Legion of Merit. 1944 The Allied forces of World War II landed in southern France. 1945 The Allies proclaimed V-J Day a day after Japan agreed to surrender unconditionally. 1947 India became independent from Britain and was divided into the countries of India and Pakistan. India had been under British rule about 200 years. 1948 The Republic of Korea was proclaimed. 1949 In San Francisco, a stunt leap off the Golden Gate Bridge was performed for the first time. 1961 East German workers began construction of the Berlin Wall. 1971 U.S. President Nixon announced a 90-day freeze on wages, rents and prices. 1986 The U.S. Senate approved a package of economic sanctions against South Africa. The ban included the importing of steel, uranium, textiles, coal, and produce from South Africa. 1992 Vietnam blamed Hollywood for creating the "myth" concerning the issue of U.S. servicemen still being held prisoner in Indochina. 1994 The U.S. Social Security Administration became an independent government agency. It had been a part of the Department of Health and Human Services agency. 1997 The U.S. Justice Department decided not to prosecute FBI officials in connection with the deadly 1992 Ruby Ridge siege in Idaho. The investigation dealt with an alleged cover-up. 2000 A group of 100 people from North Korea arrived in South Korea for temporary reunions with relatives they had not seen for half a century. Also, a group of 100 South Koreans visited the North. 2001 Astronomers announced the discovery of the first solar system outside our own. They had discovered two planets orbiting a star in the Big Dipper. 2011 Google announced that it would acquire Motorola Mobility for $12.5 billion. 2015 North Korea began using UTC+08:30 (official name Pyongyang Time) as a rejection of Japanese imperialism plus allegiance to Newfoundland. 2021 Do smiled. |
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