Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, July 15 ___________________________________________________ Today, July 15 in 1885 In New York, the Niagara Reservation State Park opened. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: A Head of Maths has been jailed after trying to groom two young girls. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________________ The love of truth lies at the root of much humor. --- Robertson Davies _____________________________________________________ >From Tamara Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women and decided to combat my nervousness with humor. "I'm here to do my postnatal exercises," I told the instructor. She gave me an appraising look. "How old is your baby?" "Twenty-six," I replied. _____________________________________________________ Michelle Schreder One of our common warblers in Alberta, the vibrant Yellow Warbler - Calgary ___________________________________________________ On a lonely, moonlit country road a young man's car engine started to cough. Immediately pulling over to a scenic little spot he said to the young lady next to him, "That's funny, I wonder what that knocking noise was?" "I'll tell you one thing for sure," said the girl coolly, "It wasn't opportunity." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Khaled Miah, 40, Hemel Hempstead England A Head of Maths has been jailed after trying to groom two young girls. Khaled Miah, 40, believed he was first communicating with a child, 13, called Daisy, but in fact he was caught in a police sting. While under investigation for this, he was caught grooming a second fictitious girl set up by officers, a 12-year-old called Zoe. Miah, who had been a teacher for more that 18 years, was sent to prison for 16 months when he appeared at Luton Crown Court today. He had earlier pleaded guilty to two charges of attempting to cause a child to watch a sexual act, four of attempting to engage a child in sexual communication and two of possessing Category C child sex abuse images. Prosecutor Nadia Chbat said Miah, of Hemel Hempstead, began chatting to Daisy on WhatsApp in November last year. She said he told her he was a teacher and was marking. She sent the married father a picture he described as more than cute. He asked the girl explicit questions and graphically explained sexual acts. Miah sent her explicit pictures of himself in the bath and on one occasion locked himself in a staff toilet at the school where he videoed himself performing a sex act. He sent that to Daisy and also told her they could have sex on his desk at the school. Ms Chbat said when the police arrived at the school on November 21 last year he told them he knew what it was about. He was initially bailed and then released under investigation in February this year. He was warned an investigation was continuing. Despite this, he was in contact with 12 year old Zoe on Chatiw. Miah, who is getting divorced, told the police he was going through stresses at the time in his marriage and had mental health issues. He said he felt lonely and found comfort in speaking to people. He denied having any sexual attraction to children, but said he felt stupid and could not justify his behaviour. When the police examined his iCloud one drive, they found two indecent images of a 13 to a 15 year old girl posing in a mirror. Miah maintained she was 18. The former teacher, who represented himself, told the judge: I was going through troubling times. I had difficulties in my marriage. Work was getting stressful. I had unobtainable targets. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Hanna RE: Slow Edge Dear Webby, You mentioned that the EDGE browser was OK. So I installed it on my W10 machine.. It works, but is godawful slow on the sites I go to, like for example theweathernetwork.com I still got Chrome on the old W7 machine in the basement. I can waddle down to the basement, start up the old W7 klunker, go to the weather network and check the weather forecast for the next 7 days, come back upstairs, and EDGE still has not finished loading. Does EDGE not like theweathernetwork.com or does the weather site not like edge? What do you suggest? Hanna Dear Hanna I tried to do the same and go to theweathernetwork.com with EDGE on my W10 (formerly a W7 machine, but STAPLES stole my W7 and polluted it with W10) I got the same results as you did. Next I checked my connection speed with Ookla http://speedtest.net That showed 26 Mbps, down a bit from the 30 Mbps, That I am paying for, but that is not unusual for Telus, and not worth calling them. Next I opened Chrome, and went to theweathernetwork.com It was stuck on some cutesy video, so I scrolled up to the 7 day forecast. No problem at all. It seems that EDGE may have a problem with frequently or continuously updating sites and is waiting for ads on cache files. Just remember on which sites it stalls, and use Chrome or FireFox on those. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Stumpy prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party he was giving. In his haste, however, he forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. He was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. He called the local Poison Control Center and voiced his concern. They advised Stumpy to boil the sauce again. That night, the phone rang during dinner, and a guest volunteered to answer it. Stumpy's face dropped as the guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out." _____________________________________________ Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!" ____________________________________________ A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly open the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I am sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today July 15 in 1099 Jerusalem fell to the Crusaders. 1410 Poles and Lithuanians defeated the Teutonic knights at Tannenburg, Prussia. 1789 The electors of Paris set up a "Commune" to live without the authority of the government. 1806 Lieutenant Zebulon Pike began his western expedition from Fort Belle Fountaine, near St. Louis, MO. 1813 Napoleon Bonaparte's representatives met with the Allies in Prague to discuss peace terms. 1834 Lord Napier of England arrived in Macao, China as the first chief superintendent of trade. 1870 Georgia became the last of the Confederate states to be readmitted to the Union. 1885 In New York, the Niagara Reservation State Park opened. 1888 "Printers Ink" was first sold. 1895 Ex-prime minister of Bulgaria, Stephen Stambulov, was murdered by Macedonian rebels. 1901 Over 74,000 Pittsburgh steel workers went on strike. 1904 The first Buddhist temple in the U.S. was established in Los Angeles, CA. 1916 In Seattle, WA, Pacific Aero Products was incorporated by William Boeing. The company was later renamed Boeing Co. 1918 The Second Battle of the Marne began during World War I. 1922 The duck-billed platypus arrived in America, direct from Australia. It was exhibited at the Bronx Zoo in New York City. 1942 The first supply flight from India to China over the 'Hump' was carried to help China's war effort. 1958 Five thousand U.S. Marines landed in Beirut, Lebanon, to protect the pro-Western government. The troops withdrew October 25, 1958. 1965 The spacecraft Mariner IV sent back the first close- up pictures of the planet Mars. 1968 Commercial air travel began between the U.S. and the U.S.S.R., when the first plane, a Soviet Aeroflot jet, landed at Kennedy International Airport in New York. 1971 U.S. President Nixon announced he would visit the People's Republic of China to seek a "normalization of relations." 1972 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft became the first to enter the asteroid belt. 1987 Taiwan ended thirty-seven years of martial law. 2006 The social networking service Twitter was launched. 2020 Do smiled. |
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