Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, January 10 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award California Sex Offender not registering  ___________________________________________________ Today, January 10 in 2002 In France, the "Official Journal" reported that all women could get the morning-after contraception pill for free in pharmacies. _____________________________________________________ It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is fatal. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." --- B. F. Skinner _____________________________________________________ A mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come back in a couple of days with a specimen. When she got home she asks her husband, "What is a specimen?" He replies," Heck if I know. Go next door and ask Edith. She's a nurse." The woman goes next door and comes back in about twenty minutes with her clothes all torn and with multiple cuts and bruises on her face and body. "What in the world happened?" asked her husband. "Damned if I know," she replies. "I asked Edith what a specimen was, and she told me to go piss in a bottle. I told her to go shit in her hat, and then all hell broke loose!" _____________________________________________________   ___________________________________________________ As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make store-wide pages, e.g., "I have a customer in hard- ware who needs assistance at the paint counter." One night a tentative female voice came over the intercom system with the following message: "I have a customer by the balls in the toy department who needs assistance." __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  James Eugene Cleaver, 54, Fresno, California, USA  California Sex Offender not registering  Fresno County sheriff's deputies are searching for a registered sex offender who was recently released from prison and has not reported to his probation officer. The sheriff's office said 54-year-old James Eugene Cleaver had not provided law enforcement with his new address since his release from prison in early December.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Re: Edit PDF files  Dear Webby, Do you know of any program that can be used to open and edit PDF and scanned files? I want to take a PDF file and use it in Word so I can edit it and use it for my own use. Thanks once again for your help. Gordon  Dear Gordon I have used Foxit for decades, but nowadays there is a Chrome extension, that works just as well. Chrome PDF Edit This might be even better for you: Open Office PDF editor Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Two women are discussing marriage, and one says, "We've been married 10 years, and every night my husband has complained about dinner. Not one night without complaining about the food." "That's awful," the other woman says. "That must really bother you." "No, not in the slightest," says the first one. "You must be a saint," her friend says. "Why should I object?" the first one says. "A lot of people don't like their own cooking." 
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 A father gave his teenage daughter an untrained pup for her birthday. An hour later, while wandering through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of the kitchen floor. "My pup," she murmured proudly, "runneth over." ____________________________________________ A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. "You were perfectly right. "You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room: "Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!" ____________________________________________ An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you're not supposed to eat pork...Have you actually ever tasted it? The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth.Yes, I have, on the odd occasion." Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too...I know you're supposed to be celibate. But.... " The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you're going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice." There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn't it?" ____________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today Jan 10 in 1776 "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine was published. 1840 The penny post, whereby mail was delivered at a standard charge rather than paid for by the recipient, began in Britain. 1863 Prime Minister Gladstone opened the first section of the London Underground Railway system, from Paddington to Farringdon Street. 1870 John D. Rockefeller incorporated Standard Oil. 1901 Oil was discovered at the Spindletop oil field near Beaumont, TX. 1911 Major Jimmie Erickson took the first photograph from an airplane while flying over San Diego, CA. 1920 The League of Nations ratified the Treaty of Versailles, officially ending World War I with Germany. 1928 The Soviet Union ordered the exile of Leon Trotsky. 1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt sailed from Miami, FL, to Trinidad thus becoming the first American President to visit a foreign country during wartime. 1951 Donald Howard Rogers piloted the first passenger jet on a trip from Chicago to New York City. 1978 The Soviet Union launched two cosmonauts aboard a Soyuz capsule for a redezvous with the Salyut VI space laboratory. 1981 In El Salvador, Marxist insurgents launched a "final offensive". 1984 The United States and the Vatican established full diplomatic relations for the first time in more than a century. 1990 Chinese Premier Li Peng ended martial law in Beijing after seven months. He said that crushing pro-democracy protests had saved China from "the abyss of misery." 1990 Time Inc. and Warner Communications Inc. completed a $14 billion merger. The new company, Time Warner, was the world's largest entertainment company. 1994 In Manassas, VA, Lorena Bobbitt went on trial. She had been charged with maliciously wounding her husband John. She was acquitted by reason of temporary insanity. 1997 Shelby Lynne Barrackman was strangled to death by her grand-father when she licked the icing off of cupcakes. He was convicted of the crime on September 15, 1998. 2000 It was announced that Time-Warner had agreed to buy America On-line (AOL). It was the largest-ever corporate merger priced at $162 billion. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) approved the deal on December 14, 2000. 2001 American Airlines agreed to acquire most of Trans World Airlines (TWA) assets for about $500 million. The deal brought an end to the financially troubled TWA. 2002 In France, the "Official Journal" reported that all women could get the morning-after contraception pill for free in pharmacies. 2003 North Korea announced that it was withdrawing from the global nuclear arms control treaty and that it had no plans to develop nuclear weapons. 2007 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.3 million feature length films sold and 50 million television episodes sold. 2019 In Venezuela, Juan Guaid and the National Assembly declared incumbent President Nicols Maduro "illegitimate" and started the process of attempting to remove him from office. 2020 The green Ford Mustang from the 1968 Steve McQueen thriller Bullitt" was sold for $3.4 million at the Mecum Auctions event in Kissimmee, FL. 2021 Do smiled. 
 

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