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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas mother arrested after she got drunk, let sex offender tattoo her three kids Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 3, in 1829 James Carrington patented the coffee mill. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Love many, hate few, learn to paddle your own canoe. --- Socratex _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Little Suzie ran into the house, crying as though her heart would break. "What's wrong, dear?" asked her mother. "My doll! Johnny broke it!" she sobbed. "How did he break it, Suzie?" "I hit him over the head with it." ______________________________________________________ https://www.facebook.com/upliftingdaily2/videos/965550283521578/ An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven." ______________________________________________________ >From FB ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ashley Nikole Weir 31, Lago Vista, Texas Texas mother arrested after she got drunk, let sex offender tattoo her three kids A Central Texas mother got drunk and allowed a sex offender to tattoo her three underage children, according to police. Ashley Nikole Weir, 31, was arrested Monday in Lago Vista and charged on three counts of tattoos prohibited for certain persons, a Class A misdemeanor. If convicted, Weir could spend up to three years in prison. The father of the three children told Lago Vista police that his 13-year-old son called and asked him to pick them up from Weir's house, according to an arrest affidavit. The son told the father that "they had a surprise for him and that he might not like it," the affidavit said. Weir was "passed out drunk" in bed when the father arrived, the father told police. The three children were unsupervised. All three had fresh tattoos on their ankles: the 13-year- old son had a tattoo of a cross on his right ankle, the 10-year-old daughter had a cross and infinity symbol on her left ankle and the 9-year-old daughter had a heart- and-arrow design on her right ankle, according to police. The 13-year-old told police that Weir wanted the children to get tattoos when they arrived at their mother's house, the affidavit reads. Two men were there at the time: Weir's boyfriend and his brother who is a sex offender, according to the Texas Department of Public Safety's sex offender registry. The children told police that Weir told them to get the tattoos "but not to cry or whine about it when it hurts," according to the affidavit. Weir's boyfriend's brother tattooed the three children, the children told police. The father asked police to conduct a welfare check on Weir, according to the affidavit. Police said Weir smelled of alcohol and that she "wobbled, swayed and was unsure on her feet while walking." Weir told police that she allowed the children to get tattoos but wouldn't say who actually performed the act of tattooing the children. The 31-year-old woman said she, her boyfriend and her boyfriend's brother were the only adults in the home at the time. Weir also knew the design of each tattoo, according to the affidavit. Weir is currently being held in Travis County Jail on a $15,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Harold Re: Email program for older machines Dear Webby I used to think it was so cute that our kids were already using email at six and seven, that I forgot to delete Outlook Express. Considering that 99.9% of all viruses are written to take advantage of some of Outlook's "features" to break in and do their dirty deed, it should actually have been quite predictable that either "Not Me!" or "Me Neither!" would click on something dangerous. Now "Not Me" and "Me Neither" are banished to two older machines that I set up for them. Do you know of an email program that will work with older versions of Windows? Thanks Harold K Dear Harold Try Pegasus. They have one version that not only works in all older versions of Windows, but even works in DOS. Pegasus has had mail filtering for a twenty years now and has such niceties as mail merge, multiple identities with separate address books, expandng nicknames, etc. And it is still free. You can download it from http://www.pmail.com/ Pegasus has been around since 1990 and has always been free. They will still click on interesting looking links, but if you put McAfee and Malwarebytes onto the machines, they should eliminate most malware. Both of those services are good for three machines anyway. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Linda: What's that you're reading? Judie: A diary. Linda: What's in it? Judie: I can't tell you that. A diary is a highly personal and confidential affair; It has important secret dreams and secret yearnings. It's private. It's not meant to be shared lightly with other people. And besides, this diary belongs to Margaret. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Stain Wood With Shoe Polish If you have small pieces of unfinished wood that you would like stained, use liquid shoe polish. The applicator on the top helps keep your hands clean. By Diane ______________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________ Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. "Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and said, "I'm glad you don't do any thinking. You would look silly without long hair." ___________________________________________________ | little boy playing with his shadow |
____________________________________________________ The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost. They are added to the age of the women that she talks about. ____________________________________________________ >From Georgina I was nervous the night my husband and I brought our kids to an upscale restaurant for the first time. My husband ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the waitress brought it, our children became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking. When she poured a small amount for my husband to taste, our six-year-old piped up, "Let Mom try it. Mom can drink a lot more than that!" ____________________________________________________ | A cross between a terrarium and indoor grow light. |
| Today on April 3 1829 James Carrington patented the coffee mill. 1860 The first Pony Express riders left St. Joseph, MO and Sacramento, CA. The trip across country took about 10 days. The Pony Express only lasted about a year and a half. 1865 Union forces occupy Confederate capital of Richmond, VA. 1866 Rudolph Eickemeyer and G. Osterheld patented a blocking and shaping machine for hats. 1882 The American outlaw Jesse James was shot in the back and killed by Robert Ford for a $5,000 reward. There was later controversy over whether it was actually Jesse James that had been killed. 1910 Alaska's Mt. McKinley, the highest mountain in North America was climbed. 1942 The Japanese began their all-out assault on the U.S. and Filipino troops at Bataan. 1946 Lt. General Masaharu Homma, the Japanese commander responsible for the Bataan Death March, was executed. 1948 U.S. President Harry Truman signed the Marshall Plan to revive war-torn Europe. It was $5 billion in aid for 16 countries. 1967 The U.S. State Department said that Hanoi might be brainwashing American prisoners. 1972 Charlie Chaplin returned to the U.S. after a 20 year absence. 1983 It was reported that Vietnamese occupation forces had overrun a key insurgent base in western Cambodia. 1985 The U.S. charged that Israel violated the Geneva Convention by deporting Shiite prisoners. 1986 The U.S. national debt hit $2 trillion. 1987 Riots disrupted mass during the Pope's visit to Santiago, Chili. 1996 An Air Force jetliner carrying Commerce Secretary Ron Brown crashed in Croatia, killing all 35 people aboard. 1996 Unabomber suspect Theodore Kaczynski was arrested. He pled guilty in January 1998 to five Unabomber attacks in exchange for a life sentence without chance for parole. 2016 Do smiled. |
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