Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, November 16 Ice Age is Coming! ____________________________________________________ Today, November 16 in 1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure into law. That pipeline is still working just fine. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Missouri woman charged after husband's body found in freezer _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time. --- Orson Welles (1915 - 1985) The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane. --- Nikola Tesla (1857 - 1943) _______________________________________________ An important politician was seen moving around with a film actress for a couple of months, with whom he finally decided to plunge into matrimony. But being cautious, he hired a private detective for the job of looking into her past and finding out if she had any previous affairs with any men. After a few days, the politician at last received his detective's report, which went like this: "Sir, this lady has a spotless reputation. Her past is clear, her family and friends all come from a very respectable background. No one has anything against her character. But yes, according to my sources, for the last couple of months she's been frequently seen flirting with a politician with a dubious reputation." ________________________________________________` ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Barbara Watters, Joplin, Missouri Missouri woman charged after husband's body found in freezer Authorities are searching for a woman after finding her husband's corpse in a freezer inside her southwest Missouri home, where it may have been stored for nearly a year. Sixty-seven-year-old Barbara Watters, of Joplin, was charged Wednesday with abandonment of a corpse. An affidavit says a witness told police Monday that Paul Barton's body had been in Watters' freezer since his death on Dec. 30, 2018. The witness says Watters threatened to kill him if he notified police. Police say in the affidavit that she has unspecified "mental disorders." Police said in a Facebook post that officers got a tip about the body while canvassing the neighborhood in an unrelated arson investigation and served a search warrant Tuesday. An autopsy is planned to determine the cause of death. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Mandy Re: End of W7 panic Dear Webby, I have been a reader for many years and always look forward to reading the humor letter. Microsoft is pulling the plug on 7 in 2020. I am planning to continue to use it at home and at my small business. I have to pay my business taxes online and I do my banking and buy things online. I have never had a problem and actually use the built in windows firewall and their Microsoft security essentials for virus protection. I occasionally run a scan with malwarebytes free. I suppose I will have to get another firewall and virus program. What would you suggest. I don't think I will miss the updates, but I do need my computer's to be secure. We have three computers online and buying protection for all three will be expensive. Thank you, Don. Dear Don Don't do anything rash. A lot of stores still use Windows XP. Also, a lot of stores use XtraPC on a USB stick. When they boot up with the stick in a USB port, it boots up in Linux. At night, or when the owner is in the can, the stick is in his pocket, and nobody can do anything. Pesonally, I use Linux on the severs, and W7 on my machines here. I am connected to the severs via the Internet and can run Linux side by side with W7, and I can copy/paste to and from the servers. Absolutely no need to panic or do anything rash. Ask around your friends to find a Penguin (Linux Friend/User) You don't normally mess at the operating system level anyway, but just use programs. Open Office / Office Libre is quite happy on Linux. Actually, that is it's native language. However, if you prefer Excel, you can run that on Linux too. Just find a local Penguin, preferably a cute female in walking distance, and start talking. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm Course" was urging her students to give their escorts every chance to be gallant. "Remain seated in the truck until he has had time to step around and open the door for you." she said. Then, returning to reality she added, "But if the big oaf is in the restaurant flirting at the waitress... don't wait any longer." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Giving a man his physical, the doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, "Do you play hockey, soccer, or some physical sport?" "No," he answered. "I play bridge with my wife." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Fighting Mildew with Bleach Use bleach and water to clean up mildew. Put it in a spray bottle and squirt it where it is needed. We recently had a severe mildew problem on all of our walls and windows. A spray bottle with a little bit of bleach and lots of water did the trick. By Mara Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, "I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what's wrong with me." "Let's begin with a few questions," said the doctor, "Do you drink much?" "Alcohol?" said the man. "I'm a teetotaler. Never touch a drop." "How about smoking?" asked the doctor. "Never," replied the man. "Tobacco is bad, and I have strong principles against it." "Well, uh." asked the doctor, "do you have much of a sex life?" "Oh, no," said the man. "Sex is sin. I'm in bed by 10:30 every night and I always have been." The doctor paused, looked at the man hard, and asked, "Well, do you have pains in your head?" "Yes," said the man. "I have terrible pains in my head." "O.K.," said the doctor. "That's your trouble. Your halo is on too tight!! ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Connie for these: Marriage Quips Q: Is it all right to bring a date to the wedding? A: Not if you are the groom. Q: What music is recommended for the wedding ceremony? A: Anything except 'Tied to the Whipping Post'. Q: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception? A: They're the ones dancing with everyone but their wives. Q: What is a wedding tragedy? A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money. Q: What's long and hard and a Polish man gives it to his bride on their wedding night? A: A last name. Q: How is marriage like a hot bath? A: Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. Q: If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose: A: Would you go to lunch or to a movie? Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these gloves? A: Buy her a diamond ring. Q: What is the best way to annoy your wife/husband during sex? A: Call her/him on the telephone. ___________________________________________________ A bar in NYC is installing a breathalyzer. If your drunk, it advises you not to drive. If you're really, really drunk, it advises you not to call your old girlfriend. __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, November 16 in 1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the American Revolution. 1871 The National Rifle Association of America (NRA) was first chartered in the State of New York. 1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason. 1915 Coca-Cola had its prototype for a contoured bottle patented. The bottle made its commercial debut the next year. 1933 The United States and the Soviet Union established diplomatic relations for the first time. 1952 In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first held a football for Charlie Brown. 1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged with massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai massacre in Vietnam on March 16, 1968. 1973 Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was launched from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission. 1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure into law. That pipeline is still working just fine. 1981 A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had been developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research. 1985 Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment of HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. 1994 Major League Soccer announced that it would start its inaugural season in 1996. 1997 China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident from jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated for almost 18 years. 1998 In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students, aged 15 to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a carefully selected group of teachers and students. 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could file discrimination lawsuits against employers even when labor contracts require arbitration. 2000 Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president to visit Communist Vietnam. 2004 A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of nearly 10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean. 2019 Do smiled. |
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