Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, November 17 Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Florida man asks cops to arrest him for child porn  ______________________________________________________ Today, November 16 in 1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean and the Red sea. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children. --- King Edward VIII (1894 - 1972) I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.' --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity. --- Robertson Davies ______________________________________________________ >From Carol My husband brought our three young children down the long hall of the maternity ward, pausing to let them wave in each doorway at the new mothers cuddling bundles. At my room, he beckoned them in and introduced them to their new brother. Five-year-old Katrina gingerly fingered the baby's thick red hair that the nurse had brushed and oiled into a fat top curl. She inspected his little feet, admired his tiny ears, and planted kisses on his dimpled elbow. But her coos stopped short at his wrist. Drawing back, she pointed at the identification bracelet and frowned, "Look, Mommy. They left the price tag on!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ "George is so forgetful," the sales manager complained to his secretary. "It's a wonder he can sell and I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back." Just then the door flew open, and in bounced George. "You'll never guess what happened!" he shouted. "While I was at lunch, I met Old Man Brown, who hasn't bought anything from us for five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this half-million dollar order!" "See," sighed the sales manager to his secretary. "I told you he'd forget the sandwiches." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ A reporter from New York was visiting an old colleague who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. "I don't see how you do it," the NY reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing?" "Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it." ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________   An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Cory Hinsch, 24, Pensacola, Floriduh  Florida man asks cops to arrest him for child porn  A Florida man walked into a Pensacola police precinct and asked to be arrested for downloading images of child porn onto his phone, cops say. Cory Hinsch, 24, walked into the police station Friday afternoon and told a front desk officer that he needed to be taken to jail because he had downloaded child pornography on his cell phone, according to a November 9 Pensacola Police Department report. Hinsch then placed his cell phone up to the glass at the counter and displayed an illicit image of a young girl that was stored on the phone. During a subsequent interview with investigators, Hinsch reportedly admitted downloading the child porn images from the dark web via a Tor browser app on his phone. A police examination of Hinsch's phone revealed two images of young girls engaging in sexual activity. Hinsch was arrested on two counts of possession of child pornography. He was booked into the Escambia County jail, where he remained locked up until Tuesday, when he posted $10,000 bond.  Bill Re: Eudora now showing attachments on W10  Dear Webby You are a genius! I spent a week looking for answers in various support groups because I hate to always be bothering you. I should have asked you first. Your solution works like a charm. Thank you. Bill  Dear Bill You are most welcome! Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them - from Rudolph to Blitzen - had to be a girl. We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, not ask for directions, and not get lost. 
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 After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and home." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Disguising Gifts for Curious Kids Assign a number for each person in your family and then put the number on the presents instead of a name. That way, children won't go rummaging through presents to see which presents are theirs. When it is time to open gifts, tell everyone what their number is.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
 
 
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 ___________________________________________________ I've never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. You will bring me down safely, won't you? All I can say ma'am, said the pilot, is that I've never left anyone up there yet! ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean of the college that, in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something wise." The dean looks at them and says, "I should have taken the money."  
 Today November 17 in 1558 Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death of Queen Mary Tudor. 1603 Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. 1796 Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67. 1798 Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide while in jail awaiting execution. 1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean and the Red sea. 1880 The first three British female graduates received their Bachelor of Arts degrees from London University. 1903 Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two groups Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. 1904 The first underwater submarine journey was taken, from Southampton, England, to the Isle of Wight. 1913 The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel through the Panama Canal. 1913 In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces from dancing the tango. 1922 Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R. 1968 NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York Jets- Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on schedule. The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-32. 1970 The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was released by Luna 17. 1973 U.S. President Nixon told an Associated Press managing editors meeting in Orlando, FL, "people have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook." 1979 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13 female and black American hostages being held at the U.S. Embassy in Tehran. 1988 Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an Islamic country. She was elected in the first democratic elections in Pakistan in 11 years. 1990 A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the River Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those of World War II prisoners of war. 1990 The Soviet government agreed to change the country's constitution. 1997 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside the Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were killed by police. 1997 Mario Lemieux was voted into the NHL Hall of Fame. 2001 "Toys "R" Us Times Square The Center of the Toy Universe" opened in New York City. 2006 Sony's PlayStation 3 went on sale in the United States. 2010 Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the first time humans had trapped antimatter. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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