Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, June 28 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ AMBER Alert canceled in Arizona after twins were found safe, suspect in custody ___________________________________________________ Today, June 28 in 1914 Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, was assassinated in Sarajevo along with his wife, Duchess Sophie. When Austria tried to capture the assassin, England started WWI. ____________________________________________________ There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers. --- William James (1842 - 1910) ____________________________________________________ The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had to do over again. "Sure," she replied, "but not the same ones." ____________________________________________________ Zahid Liake Mughal ____________________________________________________ A married couple in New York's "Little Italy" went to their Priest to discuss birth control, since they already had five children. The husband inquired if perhaps oral sex would be an acceptable substitute in the eyes of the Church. The Priest explained that it was still considered a sin and frowned upon by the church. The wife spoke up fuming: "Look Father, you no play-a da game, you no make-a da rules." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Eddie Jones, Phoenix, Arizona, USA AMBER Alert canceled in Arizona after twins were found safe, suspect in custody An AMBER Alert was issued Saturday night, but has since been canceled, for twin, year-old babies who were inside of a car when a man reportedly got in and stole the car on Saturday night, the Phoenix Police Department says. The children, Joseph and Havanna Shackelford, were found safe hours later in Phoenix near 7th Avenue and Buckeye Road. The twins were reportedly taken near a pharmacy at 44th Street and McDowell Road around 4 p.m. "They were inside of a white, 2003 Nissan Pathfinder, AZ/1CA6RB. When Eddie Jones got into the driver seat and stole the vehicle. Eddie is under the influence and made comments about driving to New Mexico," the department said. Jones is believed to be under the influence of alcohol, police say. Jones is reportedly the uncle of the twins. The children were found safe and have been reunited with family. Jones was taken into custody by Phoenix Police. DearWebby's tech support pits from: Anna re: Excel date Dear Webby There used to be a keyboard shortcut for writing the date and for doing a time stamp in Excel. I have long forgotten what hot keys to use for that. Do they still work? Even if you use Excel mode in Open Office? Help, please! Anna Dear Anna Yes, sure. Good hot-Keys like that won't be dropped. CTRL ; gives you the date CTRL SHIFT ; gives you a time stamp. The date and time can be pre-formatted for the entire column to show whatever format you want. They are true time stamps, that won't change if you open that sheet at a later time or date. Have FUN! DearWebby "Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A soldier was asked to report to the camp office for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The soldier, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible. The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. "That's fine," he said. "Report for work at 8 tomorrow." "But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine." ___________________________________________ Did you know that ..... In Seattle, Washington residents may not carry concealed weapons longer than six feet. In Chicago, Illinois, according to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American," which includes Ebonic and Hebonic. ____________________________________________ "So, your mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank Heaven he's in bed!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, June 28, in 1635 The French colony of Guadeloupe was established in the Caribbean. 1675 Frederick William of Brandenburg crushed the Swedes. 1709 The Russians defeated the Swedes and Cossacks at the Battle of Poltava. 1776 American Colonists repulsed a British sea attack on Charleston, SC. 1778 Mary "Molly Pitcher" Hays McCauley, wife of an American artilleryman, carried water to the soldiers during the Battle of Monmouth and, supposedly, took her husband's place at his gun after he was overcome with heat. 1894 The U.S. Congress made Labor Day a U.S. national holiday. 1902 The U.S. Congress passed the Spooner bill, it authorized a canal to be built across the isthmus of Panama. 1911 Samuel J. Battle became the first African-American policeman in New York City. 1914 Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, was assassinated in Sarajevo along with his wife, Duchess Sophie. When Austria tried to capture the assassin, England started WWI. 1919 The Treaty of Versailles was signed ending World War I exactly five years after it began. The treaty also established the League of Nations. 1921 A coal strike in Great Britain was settled after three months. 1930 More than 1,000 communists were routed during an assault on the British consulate in London. 1939 Pan American Airways began the first transatlantic passenger service. 1938 The U.S. Congress created the Federal Housing Administration (FHA) to insure construction loans. 1942 German troops launched an offensive to seize Soviet oil fields in the Caucasus and the city of Stalingrad. 1945 U.S. General Douglas MacArthur announced the end of Japanese resistance in the Philippines. 1949 The last U.S. combat troops were called home from Korea, leaving only 500 advisers. 1950 North Korean forces captured Seoul, South Korea. 1954 French troops began to pull out of Vietnams Tonkin Province. 1960 In Cuba, Fidel Castro confiscated American-owned oil refineries without compensation. 1964 Malcolm X founded the Organization for Afro American Unity to seek independence for blacks in the Western Hemisphere. 1965 The first commercial satellite began communications service. It was Early Bird (Intelsat I). 1967 Israel formally declared Jerusalem reunified under its sovereignty following its capture of the Arab sector in the June 1967 war. 1971 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned the draft evasion conviction of Muhammad Ali. 1972 U.S. President Nixon announced that no new draftees would be sent to Vietnam. 1976 The first women entered the U.S. Air Force Academy. 1978 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the medical school at the University of California at Davis to admit Allan Bakke. Bakke, a white man, argued he had been a victim of reverse racial discrimination. 1996 The Citadel voted to admit women, ending a 153-year-old men-only policy at the South Carolina military school. 1997 Mike Tyson was disqualified for biting Evander Holyfield's ear after three rounds of their WBA heavyweight title fight in Las Vegas, NV. 1998 Poland, due to shortage of funds, is allowed to lease, U.S. aircraft to bring military force up to NATO standards. 1998 The Cincinnati Enquirer apologized to Chiquita banana company and retracted their stories that questioned company's business practices. They also agreed to pay more than $10 million to settle legal claims. 2000 The U.S. Supreme Court declared that a Nebraska law that outlawed "partial birth abortions" was unconstitutional. About 30 U.S. states had similar laws at the time of the ruling. 2000 Darva Conger announced that she had done a layout for Playboy magazine. Conger had married Rick Rockwell on Fox-TV's "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire." 2000 Six-year-old Elin Gonzlez returned to Cuba from the U.S. with his father. The child had been the center of an international custody dispute. 2001 Slobodan Milosevic was taken into custody and was handed over to the U.N. war crimes tribunal in The Hague, Netherlands. The indictment charged Milosevic and four other senior officials, with crimes against humanity and violations of the laws and customs of war in Kosovo. 2001 The U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit set aside an order that would break up Microsoft for antitrust violations. However, the judges did agree that the company was in violation of antitrust laws. 2004 The U.S. turned over official sovereignty to Iraq's interim leadership. The event took place two days earlier than previously announced to thwart insurgents' attempts at undermining the transfer. 2004 The U.S. resumed diplomatic ties with Libya after a 24- year break. 2004 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that enemy combatants could challenge their detention in U.S. Courts. 2007 The American bald eagle was removed from the endangered species list. 2010 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that Americans have the right to own a gun for self-defense anywhere they live. 2021 Do smiled. |
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