Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, July 22 _____________________________________________________ Today, July 22 in 1987 The U.S. began its policy of escorting re-flagged Kuwaiti tankers up and down the Persian Gulf to protect them from possible attack by Iran. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Oklahoma man arrested after raping 4-year-old in McDonald's bathroom _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. --- Walter Lippmann (1889 - 1974) Anything too stupid to be said is sung. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) _____________________________________________________ No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot --- Mark Twain or a Liberal ______________________________________________________` A woman took a package to the post office to mail and was told it would cost $2.40 for fast delivery or $1.30 for slower service. "There is no hurry," she told the clerk, "just so the package is delivered within my lifetime." The postmaster glanced at her and said, "That will be $2.40, please." ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Kabatra, 35, MIDWEST CITY, Oklahoma. Oklahoma man arrested after raping 4-year-old in McDonald's bathroom A man in Oklahoma has been arrested after authorities say he raped a 4-year-old child inside a McDonald's bathroom while she was on a daycare field trip. Joshua Kabatra, 35, is facing two counts of rape and one count of lewd acts with a child, according to Oklahoma City's Fox 25. According to investigators, the child was on a field trip with her daycare class and was with other kids in the restaurant's play area. The girl reportedly went to use the bathroom and when she didn't come out for a few minutes, daycare workers went to check on her and noticed the door was locked. Police say Kabatra came out of the bathroom and said he was 'just washing my hands.' When daycare workers asked the child what happened, the girl reportedly pointed to her genital area. Employees called 911. Authorities say the daycare workers were watching the children and did not appear to be neglectful. Police believe Kabatra may have more victims and are asking them to come forward. In the meantime, for his own protection, he is not getting bail. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Carla Re: NOT full screen Dear Webby, Every now and then whatever I am working on zaps to full screen, hiding everything else. Is that a hacker, or am I being klutzy? What is the easiest way to return to regular mode, with the active app just half screen, but letting me keep an eye on the rest. I am back to W7 after I heaved my W10 laptop through the window. Thanks Carla Dear Carla Typical Microsoft, there is no consistent method, that works in all programs and all the time. F11 works in some programs ALT + ENTER works in some other programs ESC works when watching some videos like the live Space com rocket launchesWith the rest, you will have to find the three little boxes in the top right corner, and hit the middle one. Those 3 little boxes usually work even when you can't see them. Yes, I know it is a nuisance that there is no consistent method, but there is nothing I can do about that. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Do farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws Do out. Do goes and sits outside and can't stop laughing. The principal walks by and sees Do sitting outside laughing. He says, "Do what are you doing sitting here laughing?" Do says, "I farted in class and the teacher threw me out." The principle says, "Well then, why are you laughing?" Do says, "Cause she is sitting in the classroom smelling my fart, while she put me outside in this beautiful, clean air and sunshine." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Keli from Arkansas is going on her first overseas trip. She drives all the way into Little Rock to apply for a passport. In the passport office, the government official sees that she is visibly puzzled filling her passport application. The passport official looks over her shoulder and sees that Keli is trying to write 'twice a week' into the small space labeled 'SEX'. The official explains: "No, no, no. That is not what we mean by this question. We are asking 'Male' or 'Female'." After some deliberation, Keli said: "I think I prefer males". ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Spend Less for Convenience If you find you eat fast food regularly because you don't have time to cook, try to find some packaged convenience dinners that you like and keep them stocked in the freezer. The quality of convenience dinners has improved, tend to cost half what a meal at a fast food restaurant and can be even cheaper if you use a coupon or buy on sale. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Obscure sports from around the world. |
___________________________________________________ The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to administer his annual physical, so the first thing the doctor did was to ask whether anything was troubling him. "Well, to tell the truth, Doc, yes," answered the patient. "You see, I seem to be getting forgetful. No, it's actually worse than that. I'm never sure I can remember where I put the car, or whether I answered a letter, or where I'm going, or what it is I'm going to do once I get there - if I get there. So I really need your help. What can I do?" The doctor mused for only one or two beats, then answered in his kindliest tones, "Pay me in advance." ___________________________________________________ "Yesterday, a group of scientists warned that because of global warming, sea levels will rise so much that parts of New Jersey will be under water. The bad news? Parts of New Jersey won't be under water." --- Conan O'Brien _____________________________________ The company my brother worked for had a phone system that rerouted after-hours calls. If any calls came in on a certain line while he was working late, Dave knew it would be a wrong number. It got to the point where as soon as the phone rang, Dave would pick up and say, "Psychic Hotline. I'm sorry, but you've dialed the wrong number." The caller would often reply with something like, "But I didn't even ask to speak to anyone yet. How did you know I dialed the wrong.... Oh!" (Click.) __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Recently, I called to make reservations on a small charter plane that departs from the Teterboro airport in New Jersey. I knew I would be flying in a very small plane, so I wasn't surprised when the clerk said, "The plane is very full with baggage and passengers." Then she asked, "How much do you weigh, Ma'am?" Not thinking clearly, I answered, "With or without clothes?" "Well," said the clerk, "how do you intend to travel?" ___________________________________________________ | Today, July 22 in 1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats out of town is said to have occurred on this date. 1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke Island off North Carolina. The colony vanished under mysterious circumstances. 1796 Cleveland was founded by General Moses Cleaveland. 1798 The USS Constitution was underway and out to sea for the first time since being launched on October 21, 1797. 1812 English troops under the Duke of Wellington defeated the French at the Battle of Salamanca in Spain. 1926 Babe Ruth caught a baseball at Mitchell Field in New York. The ball had been dropped from an airplane flying at 250 feet. 1943 American forces led by General George S. Patton captured Palermo, Sicily. 1941 Plans for the Pentagon were presented to the House Subcommittee on Appropriations. 1955 U.S. Vice-President Richard M. Nixon chaired a cabinet meeting in Washington, DC. It was the first time that a Vice- President had carried out the task. 1975 Confederate General Robert E. Lee had his U.S. citizenship restored by the U.S. Congress. 1987 The U.S. began its policy of escorting re-flagged Kuwaiti tankers up and down the Persian Gulf to protect them from possible attack by Iran. 1998 Iran tested medium-range missile, capable of reaching Israel or Saudi Arabia. 2000 Astronomers at the University of Arizona announced that they had found a 17th moon orbiting Jupiter. 2003 In northern Iraq, Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai died after a gunfight with U.S. forces. 2003 In Paris, France, a fire broke out near the top of the Eiffel Tower. About 4,000 visitors were evacuated and no injuries were reported. 2004 The September 11 commission's final report was released. The 575-page report concluded that hijackers exploited "deep institutional failings within our government." The report was released to White House officials the day before. 2009 The longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century, lasting up to 6 minutes and 38.8 seconds, occurred over parts of Asia and the Pacific Ocean. 2019 Do smiled. |
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