Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, January 30 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, January 30, in 1911 The first airplane rescue at sea was made by the destroyer "Terry." Pilot James McCurdy was forced to land in the ocean about 10 miles from Havana, Cuba. ___________________________________________________ The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) ___________________________________________________ Trina is very attentive when she goes out on a date. Lately, at a movie she was overheard to say: Trina: "Can you see, dear ? Date: "Yes" Trina: "Is your seat comfortable ?" Date: "Yes" Trina: "Is there a draft on you ?" Date: "No" Trina: "Good ! Let's change seats." ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Illinois murder suspect arrested during traffic stop in Phoenix ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ The preacher was preaching with all his might. The subject was SIN, and he was most certainly 'against' sin. A girl, with a wonderful figure, and not nearly enough clothes to hide much skin, came in late. She strode down the center aisle, close to the front, and sat down. It was plain to the preacher that he had lost the men in his audience. He shook a fist at her and said, "You are the Jezebel the good book tells us about. You have got the mind of every man in this building on evil thoughts and not good thoughts. But I am a man of God! You don't affect me, and right now up in Heaven, ....Saint Finger is shaking his Peter at you!!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Arthur Cooper, 32, Rockford, Illinois USA Illinois murder suspect arrested during traffic stop in Phoenix A man wanted for murder in Illinois was arrested in Phoenix after authorities say he was pulled over for a traffic violation. According to the Arizona Department of Public Safety, a trooper stopped a white Jeep Compass on Jan. 11 near 29th and Van Buren Streets for unsafe driving behavior and an equipment violation. "During the traffic stop, the driver provided false identification and was subsequently detained," DPS said in a news release. While he was detained, the trooper was able to identify the driver as 32-year-old David Arthur Cooper of Rockford, Illinois. Cooper was found to have an outstanding $5 million warrant for homicide. They now get to keep the bail money. Cooper was arrested and booked into jail, pending extradition to Illinois. "No traffic stop is routine; in this instance, civil traffic violations led to the arrest of a potentially dangerous suspect," DPS said. "Troopers never know exactly who or what they will encounter in a workday." Face recognition via satellite of course is also helpful. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Janet Re: Extra storage Dear Webby I have run out of hard drive space. What is the solution? Janet Dear Janet First, dump all the spam from spam folders, and recycle bin or Trash folders. You will never going to look at them anyway. Then go to https://www.shouldiremoveit.com/ and see how many weird and wacky programs you tried, but forgot to get rid of. OK, now that you have some major elbow room, get a few camera chips, and a chip reader, if you haven't got one yet. You will be surprised that today's camera chips hold more data than yesterday's hard drives. Label the chips, yes chipS! They are cheap. Use a wite-out pen to For example: Inlaws, Outlaws (Exes), Vacations, kids, etc. You can also hold them on the end, where the gold contacts are, and spray them with colorful spray paint. Then write the topic onto the painted part. Dragging entire folders from the computer onto a chip is easy, and fairly fast. Finally, and this is the most important part, get a small ziplock baggie, even if you have to buy a treat at the deli. Get one that has a traditional zipper slider. Use your hot-melt glue gun or some double-sided tape to attach the data baggie to the side of the computer or the fridge or any convenient location. Don't let them get lost on your desk! After that, when you need the vacation pictures, you simply pull the BLUE chip from the data baggie, stick it into the chip reader, and it shows up as an additional hard drive. Have FUN! DearWebby A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer. She wanted to know if the photographer could remove the hat from the picture. He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked her what side of his head her husband parted his hair on. "I forgot," she said. "But you can see that for yourself when you take off his hat." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing the sick-leave provisions set out by their contract. One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!" There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. A union negotiator broke the silence in the room. "Wow!" he said. "Just think of the score he could have had if he wasn't sick!" ______________________________________________ The children were lined up for lunch in the cafeteria of the school. At the head of the table sat a large bowl of apples, to which the teacher had attached the following note: "Take only one, God is watching." At the other end of the table was a large platter of chocolate chip cookies to which one clever young boy had attached this note: "Take all you want. God is watching the apples." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
One Sunday during the morning church service our pastor was preaching away and his sermon came to a high point and he asked the question: "What is your problem?" Just as he asked the question a little boy was in the isle, he had started toward the bathroom. Thinking that the preacher was talking to him, the little guy just stopped, looked up at him, and said, "I gotta pee." To say the least the laughter took over and the sermon was never the same after that! ___________________________________________________ | Today, January 30, in 1649 England's King Charles I was beheaded. 1790 The first purpose-built lifeboat was launched on the River Tyne. 1798 The first brawl in the U.S. House of Representatives took place. Congressmen Matthew Lyon and Roger Griswold fought on the House floor. 1844 Richard Theodore Greener became the first African American to graduate from Harvard University. 1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. 1862 The U.S. Navy's first ironclad warship, the "Monitor", was launched. 1889 Rudolph, crown prince of Austria, and his 17-year-old mistress, Baroness Marie Vetsera, were found shot in his hunting lodge at Mayerling, near Vienna. 1894 C.B. King received a patent for the pneumatic hammer. 1900 The British fighting the Boers in South Africa ask for a larger army and got it. 1910 Work began on the first board-track automobile speedway. The track was built in Playa del Ray, CA. 1911 The first airplane rescue at sea was made by the destroyer "Terry." Pilot James McCurdy was forced to land in the ocean about 10 miles from Havana, Cuba. 1933 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the first time. The program ran for 2,956 episodes and ended in 1955. 1933 Adolf Hitler was named the German Chancellor. 1948 Indian political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi was murdered by a Hindu extremist. 1958 The first two-way moving sidewalk was put in service at Love Field in Dallas, TX. The length of the walkway through the airport was 1,435 feet. 1962 Two members of the "Flying Wallendas" high-wire act were killed when their seven-person pyramid collapsed during a performance in Detroit, MI. 1964 January 30 The U.S. launched Ranger 6. The unmanned spacecraft carried television cameras and was intentionally crash-landed on the moon. The cameras did not return any pictures to Earth. 1968 The Tet Offensive began as Communist forces launched surprise attacks against South Vietnamese provincial capitals. 1972 In Northern Ireland, British soldiers shot and killed thirteen Roman Catholic civil rights marchers. The day is known as "Bloody Sunday." 1979 The civilian government of Iran announced it had decided to allow Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini to return. He had been living in exile in France. 1989 The U.S. embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan was closed. 1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized the deployment of a 6,000-member U.N. peace-keeping contingent to assume security responsibilities in Haiti from U.S. forces. 1995 Researchers from the U.S. National Institutes of Health announced that clinical trials had demonstrated the effectiveness of the first preventative treatment for sickle cell anemia. 1996 Gino Gallagher, the reputed leader of the Irish National Liberation Army, was shot and killed as he queued for his unemployment benefit. 1997 A New Jersey judge ruled that the unborn child of a female prisoner must have legal representation. He denied the prisoner bail reduction to enable her to leave the jail and obtain an abortion. 2002 Slobodan Milosevic accused the U.N. war crimes tribunal of an "evil and hostile attack" against him. Milosevic was defending his actions during the Balkan wars. 2002 Japan's last coal mine was closed. The closures were due to high production costs and cheap imports. 2005 In Iraq, the first free Parliamentary elections since 1958 took place. 2017 In China, scientist revealed 540-million-year-old Saccorhytus in a fossil. The actual creature would have been about a millimeter in size. 2021 Do smiled. |
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