Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday March 10, 2022 Thank you, Betty!! Today in 1953, North Korean gunners at Wonsan fired upon the USS Missouri. The ship responded by firing 998 rounds at the enemy position. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Mom Left Infant In car while she had gone gambling ___________________________________________________ Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. --- Ann Landers (1918 - 2002) If there is, in fact, a Heaven and a Hell, all we know for sure is that Hell will be an overcrowded version of Phoenix... --- Hunter S. Thompson ============= I would agree. And if anybody in Phoenix, for example a car rental company, gives you printed directions to find them, trash that paper immediately, and look up the directions on mapquest. The same goes with finding your way to any place from their location. They might mean well, but they don't keep up with changing road names and detours beyond their own way to work. ___________________________________________________ A grandmother overheard her five-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be turned around and used against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride today." ___________________________________________________ Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes towards leftovers. "It gets rough," one said. "My husband is a Movie Producer and he calls them 'reruns'." "You think you have it bad," was the reply. "Mine is a Quality Control Engineer and he calls them 'rejects'!" "That's nothing compared to me," said the third lady. "My husband is a mortician. He calls them 'remains'!" ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! _________________________________ A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I must be a God! ____________________________________________________ Don Auten Trail Cam Tuesday , A Porcupine waddles by my camera, In The Alberta Wilderness! ___________________________________________________ Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed an old hound dog sound asleep on the floor half way between the door and the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him and bashing their teeth out on the counter." ____________________________________________________ I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes." I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness. Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Ma, you're 75 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo and a nose ring!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bionca Lockett, 32, Sebastian, Florida, USA Mom Left Infant In car while she had gone gambling A woman left her infant daughter in an unlocked car while she gambled for nearly two hours inside a Florida arcade, according to police who arrested her on a felony child neglect charge. Police were dispatched Friday afternoon to a parking lot in Sebastian after a 911 caller reported that there was a child by itself inside a Nissan Sentra parked adjacent to Pirates Arcade, a 21-and-over social club. When cops arrived at the lot, they found the child sitting in a car seat alone, according to an arrest affidavit, which noted that the vehicle was unlocked. After officers were on the scene for 10 minutes, Bionca Lockett, the childs mother, emerged from the arcade. Lockett, 32, initially claimed that a friend of hers was inside the car watching the infant while she played in the arcade. When a patrolman advised Lockett that he would review surveillance camera footage to verify her account, Bionca then changed her story. Lockett reportedly admitted that she left her child in the car alone with the windows rolled up and A/C turned on, thinking she would only be inside for a few minutes. The infant, cops reported, had dried poop from poor cleaning, dried skin, lips were chapped, and she appeared to be malnourished. Since Lockett did not have adequate food for the child in the car, police purchased baby formula to provide the infant with nutrients and liquid to offset how dehydrated she was. Lockett was arrested on a pair of felony charges for leaving the infant alone in a car while she gambled for approximately 1 hr and 44 minutes. Lockett is being held in the Indian River county jail in lieu of $50,000 bond. The arrest report does not indicate who is now caring for the child. A judge has ordered Lockett to have no contact with the infant, unless it is approved by the states Department of Children and Families. Seen above, Lockett is currently on probation following her no contest plea in September to a felony grand theft count. Lockett was charged with stealing $1000 from a Chevron gas station where she worked. No father of the baby was listed. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Chris Re: Facebook Jail Dear Webby Every now and then some friends get blocked by Facebook, and can't reply or appeal. FB claims one of their ancient posts from 8 years ago now goes against "Community standards". By sheer coincidence the victims are always Trumpers or anti-Piglosios. "Community Standard" seems to be whatever a Bernie or Mad Max or Poca Honta or AOC fanatic currently believe. Is there ANY way to fight the Commies? Thanks! Chris Dear Chris No, you can't fight them. All you can do is use Skype or anything, that is not controlled by Facebook or Google. Have FUN! DearWebby An employment interviewer for a big company in New York was talking to an attractive young woman applying for a job. Looking over the application form, the interviewer noticed that the girl had not answered one important question concerning transportation to and from work. "What about your bus line?" the interviewer asked her. "I don't believe I mentioned it," came the pleased reply, "but it's a 38D." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ The basketball coach stormed into the university President's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example." The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned first." ______________________________________________ Soon after marriage, a lady's husband stopped wearing his wedding ring. She asked, "Why don't you ever wear your wedding band?" He replied, "It cuts off my circulation." She answered back, "It's supposed to!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. So he simply asked: "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" Immediately, nine single ladies, four widows, tree widowers, two single men and a lady in a formal wedding gown stepped to the front. ___________________________________________________ | Today, March 10, in 0241 BC, The Roman fleet sank 50 Carthaginian ships in the Battle of Aegusa. 1496, Christopher Columbus concluded his second visit to the Western Hemisphere when he left Hispaniola for Spain. 1629, England's King Charles I dissolved Parliament and did not call it back for 11 years. 1656, In the American colony of Virginia, suffrage was extended to all free men regardless of their religion. 1785, Thomas Jefferson was appointed minister to France. He succeeded Benjamin Franklin. 1792, John Stone patented the pile driver. 1804, The formal ceremonies transferring the Louisiana Purchase from France to the U.S. took place in St. Louis. 1806, The Dutch in Cape Town, South Africa surrendered to the British. 1814, In France, Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated by a combined Allied Army at the battle of Laon. 1848, The U.S. Senate ratified the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, which ended the war with Mexico. 1849, Abraham Lincoln applied for a patent for a device to lift vessels over shoals by means of inflated cylinders. 1864, Ulysses S. Grant became commander of the Union armies in the U.S. Civil War. 1876, Alexander Graham Bell made the first successful call with the telephone. He spoke the words "Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you." 1880, The Salvation Army arrived in the U.S. from England. 1893, New Mexico State University canceled its first graduation ceremony because the only graduate was robbed and killed the night before. 1894, New York Gov. Roswell P. Flower signed the nation's first dog-licensing law. 1902, The Boers of South Africa scored their last victory over the British, when they captured British General Methuen and 200 men. 1902, Tochangri, Turkey, was entirely wiped out by an earthquake. 1903, Harry C. Gammeter patented the multigraph duplicating machine. 1903, In New York's harbor, the disease-stricken ship Karmania was quarantined with six dead from cholera. 1906, In France, 1,200 miners were buried in an explosion at Courrieres. 1909, Britain extracted territorial concessions from Siam and Malaya. 1910, Slavery was abolished in China. 1912, China became a republic after the overthrow of the Manchu Ch'ing Dynasty. 1913, William Knox rolled the first perfect 300 game in tournament competition. 1924, The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a New York state law forbidding late-night work for women. 1927, Prussia lifted its Nazi ban allowing Adolf Hitler to speak in public. 1933, Nevada became the first U.S. state to regulate drugs. 1940, W2XBS-TV in New York City aired the first televised opera as it presented scenes from "I Pagliacci". 1941, The Brooklyn Dodgers announced that their players would begin wearing batting helmets during the 1941 season. 1941, Vichy France threatened to use its navy unless Britain allowed food to reach France. 1944, The Irish refused to oust all Axis envoys and denied the accusation of spying on Allied troops. 1945, American B-29 bombers attacked Tokyo, Japan, 100,000 were killed. 1947, The Big Four met in Moscow to discuss the future of Germany. 1947, Poland and Czechoslovakia signed a 20-year mutual aid pact. 1949, Nazi wartime broadcaster Mildred E. Gillars, also known as "Axis Sally," was convicted in Washington, DC. Gillars was convicted of treason and served 12 years in prison. 1953, North Korean gunners at Wonsan fired upon the USS Missouri. The ship responded by firing 998 rounds at the enemy position. 1955, The last broadcast of "The Silver Eagle" was heard on radio. 1956, Julie Andrews at the age of 23 made her TV debut in "High Tor" with Bing Crosby and Nancy Olson. 1959, "Sweet Bird of Youth", a play by Tennessee Williams, opened in New York City. 1965, Walter Matthau and Art Carney opened in "The Odd Couple". It later became a hit on television. 1966, The North Vietnamese captured a Green Beret camp at Ashau Valley. 1966, France withdrew from NATO's military command to protest U.S. dominance of the alliance and asked NATO to move its headquarters from Paris. 1969, James Earl Ray pled guilty in Memphis, TN, to the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. Ray later repudiated the guilty plea and maintained his innocence until his death in April of 1998. 1971, The U.S. Senate approved an amendment to lower the voting age to 18. 1975, The North Vietnamese Army attacked the South Vietnamese town of Ban Me Thout. 1980, Iran's leader, Ayatollah Khomeini, lent his support to the militants holding American hostages in Tehran. 1982, The U.S. banned Libyan oil imports due to their continued support of terrorism. 1986, The Wrigley Company, of Chicago, raised the price of its seven-stick pack of Wrigleys chewing gum from a quarter to 30 cents. 1987, The Vatican condemned surrogate parenting as well as test-tube and artificial insemination. 1990, Haitian President Prosper Avril was ousted 18 months after seizing power in a coup. 1991, "Phase Echo" began. It was the operation to withdraw 540,000 U.S. troops from the Persian Gulf region. 1994, White House officials began testifying before a federal grand jury about the Whitewater controversy. 1995, U.S. Secretary of State Warren Christopher told Yasser Arafat that he must do more to curb Palestinian terrorists. 1998, U.S. troops in the Persian Gulf began receiving the first vaccinations against anthrax. 2002, The Associated Press reported that the Pentagon informed the U.S. Congress in January that it was making contingency plans for the possible use of nuclear weapons against countries that threaten the U.S. with weapons of mass destruction, including Iraq and North Korea. 2003, North Korea test-fired a short-range missile. The event was one of several in a pattern of unusual military maneuvers. 2022 Do smiled. |
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