Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, December 11 ____________________________________________________ Today, December 11 in  1998 Majority Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee pushed through three articles of impeachment against U.S. President Clinton.  ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: 67-year-old Great Bend woman arrested for "substantial" amount of meth in home  _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) _______________________________________________ A friend, driving home from a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron. He didn't have a CB radio in his car, so he decided to use his marine radio to get help. Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call letters and asked for assistance. A Coast Guard officer responded, "Please give your location." "I'm on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish." The officer paused, "Could you repeat that?" "I-75, two miles south of Standish." A longer pause. Then an incredulous voice asked, "How fast were you going when you hit shore?" ________________________________________________`   That bike is trying to kill me! ____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Roberta Patterson 67, Great Bend, Kansas  67-year-old Great Bend woman arrested for "substantial" amount of meth in home  A Barton County meth bust has led to the arrest of a 67-year- old woman. The Barton County Sheriff's office says deputies conducted a search warrant at 5400 24th Street in Great Bend at around 3:30 p.m. on December 6th. Deputies entered the house without conflict and found a "substantial quantity of methamphetamine" along with other drug paraphernalia. 67-year-old Roberta Patterson was arrested and booked into the Barton County Jail on charges of possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute and aggravated endangerment of a child. Patterson is being held on a $300,000 bond. 
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Hank RE: FaceBook Language  Dear Webby I need help.All of a sudden my Facebook page has gone from English into Spanish. How do I get back to English? OI have tried everything I know to do. Thanks for your help! hank  Dear Hank Language Top center on that page Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
 >From Bert I've started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times. 
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 >From Brit I asked the Lord to tell me Why my house is such a mess. He asked if I'd been 'computering'. I had to answer 'Yes.' He told me to get off my butt And tidy up the house. And so I started cleaning up ... The smudges off my mouse. I wiped and shined the topside. That really did the trick ... I was just admiring my work ... I didn't mean to 'click.' But click I did and oops. I found A real absorbing site. That I got SO way into it, I was into it all night ..... Nothing's changed except my mouse It's very, very shiny. I guess my house will stay a mess ... While I sit here on my hiney. ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Removing a Broken Bulb When a light bulb breaks when it is still in the socket, it can be difficult to remove the remainder of the bulb. The sharp glass is nearly impossible to grip without cutting yourself or breaking off more of the bulb. Turn off the light and try a bar of soap or wadded up newspaper to remove it.  Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________  
  
 
Oldest still street legal car is 125 years old ___________________________________________________ A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American. "Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them." The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars, too!" ___________________________________________________ At an open conference in Vermont, the state tax commissioner asked the audience which sort of taxation they thought was the most fair and equitable. There was a pause, and then a white-haired man in the back raised his hand. "The poll tax," he said. "But the poll tax was repealed some time ago," replied the commissioner. "Ay-yuh," declared the old yankee, "that's what I like about it." ___________________________________________________ One morning, while shaving, George started cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she called out. "My razor -- it won't cut!" he answered. "Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than linoleum?" __________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
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 Today, December 11 in 1719 The first recorded sighting of the aurora borealis took place in New England. 1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds. 1792 France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention, which had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges of treason. He was convicted and condemned and was sent to the guillotine the following January. 1844 Dr. Horace Wells became the first person to have a tooth extracted after receiving an anesthetic for the dental procedure. Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, was the anesthetic. 1872 Pinckney Benton Stewart Pinchback became America's first black governor when he took office as acting governor of Louisiana. 1882 Boston's Bijou Theater had its first performance. It was the first American playhouse lit exclusively by electricity. 1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine exhibitors. 1928 In Buenos Aires, police thwarted an attempt on the life of President-elect Herbert Hoover. 1930 The Bank of the United States in New York failed. 1936 Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the Duke of Windsor. 1937 The Fascist Council in Rome, withdrew Italy from the League of Nations. 1946 The United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund (UNICEF) was established by the U.N. General Assembly. The fund provides relief to children in countries devastated by war. 1961 The first direct American military support for South Vietnam occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying Army helicopters arrived in Saigon. 1967 The prototype of the Concorde was shown for the first time in Toulouse, France. 1973 West German Chancellor Willy Brandt and Czech Prime Minister Lubomir Strougal formally nullified the 1938 Munich pact when they signed a treaty sanctioning Hitler's seizure of Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland. 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed into law legislation creating $1.6 billion environmental "superfund" that would be used to pay for cleaning up chemical spills and toxic waste dumps. 1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st fight to Trevor Berbick. 1985 General Electric Company agreed to buy RCA Corporation for $6.3 billion. Also included in the deal was NBC Radio and Television. 1986 The government of South Africa expanded its media restrictions by imposing prior censorship and banning coverage of a wide range of peaceful anti-apartheid protests. 1987 Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were sold at Christie's for 82,500. 1988 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace when tons of illegal fireworks exploded. 1990 Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12 years of marriage. 1991 Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for blasphemy, made his first public appearance since 1989 in New York, at a dinner marking the 200th anniversary of the First Amendment (which guarantees freedom of speech in the U.S.). 1994 Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets entered Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to restore control of the the breakaway republic. 1994 The world's largest free trade zone was created when leaders of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a free-trade declaration known as "The Miami Process." 1997 More than 270 Tutsi refugees from the Democratic Republic of Congo were killed by Juto guerillas in Mudende, Rwanda. 1997 More than 150 countries agreed at a global warming conference in Kyoto, Japan, to control the Earth's "greenhouse gases." 1998 Scientists announced that they had deciphered the entire genetic blueprint of a tiny worm. 1998 The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month journey to the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared in September of 1999, apparently destroyed because scientists had failed to convert English measures to metric values. 1998 Majority Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee pushed through three articles of impeachment against U.S. President Clinton. 2000 Mario Lemeiux, owner of Pittsburgh Penquins, announced that he would end his three-plus year retirement and become an active National Hockey League (NHL) player again. When Lemieux returned officially he became the first owner/player in NHL history. 2001 U.S. Attorney General Ashcroft announced the first federal indictment directly related to the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. Zacarias Moussaoui was charged with six conspiracy charges. Moussaoui was in custody at the time of the attacks. 2001 Ted Turner purchased 12,000 acres in Nebraska for Bison ranches. 2001 It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush would withdraw the U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty with Russia. 2001 Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as part of "Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain evidence against an international software piracy ring. 2009 The game Angry Birds was released. 2013 Standard & Poors announced that Facebook would join its S&P 500 index "after the close of trading on December 20." 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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