Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, January 18 Thank You Michael! ___________________________________________________ Today, January 18 in 1788 The first English settlers arrived in Australia's Botany Bay to establish a penal colony. The group moved north eight days later and settled at Port Jackson. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Glen Ellyn man charged with traveling to meet teen girl for sex __________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. --- Jane Wagner _____________________________________________ A man was doing a study of children's senses in a first- grade class using a bowl of Lifesavers. He gave the children all the same kind of Lifesaver and asked them, "What is the flavor, and what color is it?" The children began to say, "Red . . . cherry . . . yellow . . lemon . .. lime . . . green . . . orange . . . orange." Finally, he gave them all honey Lifesavers. The children suck on them for a while, but can't decipher the taste. "Well," he said, "I'll give you a clue. It's what your mother would call your father." One little girl looked up in horror, spit hers out, and yelled: "Everybody spit it out, they're assholes!" ________________________________________________` ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bernardo Tello, 42, 42, Glen Ellyn Glen Ellyn man charged with traveling to meet teen girl for sex A Glen Ellyn man is facing felony charges after allegedly trying to meet a child for sex, authorities said. Bernardo Tello, 42, was charged with indecent solicitation of a child, aggravated criminal sexual abuse and traveling to meet a minor, according to the DuPage County sheriffs office. Tello allegedly had sexually explicit online conversations with someone he though was a 14-year-old girl, the sheriffs office said. He arranged to meet her at a restaurant, and allegedly intended to go home with her afterwards to have a sexual encounter, the sheriffs office said. He was arrested shortly after arriving at the restaurant. Tello was also found to have an outstanding warrant from 1998 for theft, DUI and aggravated battery of a senior, the sheriffs office said. A judge set Tellos bail at $40,000 at a hearing Thursday, the sheriffs office said. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Eloise Re: Fax Dear Webby Some time ago you mentioned a free FAX site, but I forgot the URL. Can you please mention it again? Thanks Eloise Dear Eloise I use https://faxzero.com/ Fast, reliable, and secure.They even send a confirmation request email to you, to make sure nobody else sends a fax pretending to be you. I highly recommend them! Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail. Finally, they reached the ticket window. "Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A flying saucer was low on fuel, so it landed near a local gas station. On its side were the letters "UFO." The gas station attendant was stunned, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?" he asked. "No," one of the other-worldly travelers responds. "It stands for 'Unleaded Fuel Only.' " ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Make Beef Patties Inside Ziploc Bag One way to shape your homemade beef patties is to place the seasoned meat in a ziplock bag and press and shape. They won't stick and it is definitely a less messy method. Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ SIGNS FOUND IN KITCHENS 1. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious. 2. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. 3. A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. 4. If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap. 5. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 6. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 7. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. 8. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life. 9. Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out. 10. Housework done properly can kill you. 11. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives. 12. My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines. ___________________________________________________ YOU'RE NO LONGER "COOL" WHEN....... 1. You find yourself listening to talk radio. 2. You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears. 3. The pattern on your shorts and couch match. 4. You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit. 5. You actually ASK for your father's advice. 6. You don't know how to operate a fax machine. 7. When someone mentions SURFING you picture waves and a surf board. 8. You remember the "Rolling Stones" as a rock group not a corporation. 9. You turn down free tickets to a concert because you have to work the next day. 10. You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your kid's new running shoes. 11. When jogging is something you do to your memory. 12. Rocking all night means dozing off in your rocking chair. ___________________________________________________ Seems this hillbilly came to town carrying a jug of moonshine in one hand and a shotgun in the other. He stopped a man on the street, saying to him: "Here, friend, take a drink outta my jug." The man protested, saying he never drank. Unimpressed, the hillbilly leveled his shotgun at the stranger and commanded: "Drink!" The stranger drank, shuddered, shook, shivered and coughed. "God! That's awful stuff!" "Ain't it, though?" replied the hillbilly. "Now here, you hold the gun on me while I take a swig." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today January 18 in 1778 English navigator Captain James Cook discovered the Hawaiian Islands, which he called the "Sandwich Islands." 1788 The first English settlers arrived in Australia's Botany Bay to establish a penal colony. The group moved north eight days later and settled at Port Jackson. 1871 Wilhelm, King of Prussia since 1861, was proclaimed the first German Emperor. 1896 The Roentgen (x-ray) machine was exhibited to the public for the first time. 1911 For the first time an aircraft landed on a ship. Pilot Eugene B. Ely flew onto the deck of the USS Pennsylvania in San Francisco harbor. 1919 The World War I Peace Congress opened in Versailles, France. 1939 Louis Armstrong and his orchestra recorded "Jeepers Creepers." 1943 During World War II, the Soviets announced that they had broken the Nazi siege of Leningrad, which had began in September of 1941. 1943 U.S. commercial bakers stopped selling sliced bread. Only whole loaves were sold during the ban until the end of World War II. 1948 "The Original Amateur Hour" debuted. The show was on the air for 22 years. 1950 The federal tax on oleomargarine was repealed. 1957 The first, non-stop, around-the-world, jet flight came to an end at Riverside, CA. The plane was refueled in mid- flight by huge aerial tankers. 1967 Albert DeSalvo, who claimed to be the "Boston Strangler," was convicted in Cambridge, MA, of armed robbery, assault and sex offenses. He was sentenced to life in prison. Desalvo was killed in 1973 by a fellow inmate. 1972 Former Rhodesian prime minister Garfield Todd and his daughter were placed under house arrest for campaigning against Rhodesian independence. 1978 The European Court of Human Rights cleared the British government of torture but found it guilty of inhuman and degrading treatment of prisoners in Northern Ireland. 1985 Mary Decker broke a world, indoor record when she ran the womens, 2,000-meter race in 5:34.2. She also ran the outdoor mile in 4:16.7. 1987 For the first time in history the Public Broadcasting System (PBS) was seen by over 100 million viewers. The audience was measured during the week of January 12-18. 1990 A jury in Los Angeles, CA, acquitted former preschool operators Raymond Buckey and his mother, Peggy McMartin Buckey, of 52 child molestation charges. 1990 In an FBI sting, Washington, DC, Mayor Marion Barry was arrested for drug possession. He was later convicted of a misdemeanor. 1991 Eastern Airlines shut down after 62 years in business due to financial problems. 1993 The Martin Luther King Jr. holiday was observed in all 50 U.S. states for the first time. 1995 The "yahoo.com" domain was created. 1995 A network of caves were discovered near the town of Vallon-Pont-d'Arc in southern France. The caves contained paintings and engravings that were 17,000 to 20,000 years old. 1997 Hutu militiamen killed three Spanish aid workers and three soldiers and seriously wound an American in a night attack in NW Rwanda. 2000 The Chinese web services company Baidu, Inc. was incorporated in Beijing. 2002 The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced the approval of a saliva-based ovulation test. 2012 Wikipedia began a 24-hour "blackout" in protest against proposed anti-piracy legislation (S. 968 and H.R. 3261) known as the Protect Intellectual Property Act (PIPA) in the Senate and the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) in the House. Many websites, including Reddit, Google, Facebook, Amazon and others, contended would make it challenging if not impossible for them to operate. 2019 Do smiled. |
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to humor@webby.com
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
newsletter@newslettercollector.com
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . | Search the web for:
Recommended Resources Find a human
Bypass voice menus
Web Tools
handy program downloads
SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial
This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still The Best
spam control Choose a reliable essay writing service
to cope with your assignments
much faster. Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE
Babelfish Translator Converter Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters
Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE
This Undeleter will easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery? SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!
Where is YOUR site?
Web Space for YOU,
from $2.50 up. Commercal grade:
No ads, no limits.
Full control, not just a myspace page.
Post your eBay detail pictures.
Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!
YOUR OWN
Postcard Site ! You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder: Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby
Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.
Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue
That could be YOUR ad for $50 per month.
Subscribers only!
Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season
Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras
Thesaurus
NASA Multimedia Gallery Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web
Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events
Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite
Do, Please Feed
Dear Webby!
Privacy Policy
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
EB (Eligible Bachelor) DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada |
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
|
