Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, March 5 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Michigan official arrested for drunk driving blames damn chicken nuggets. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 4 in 1623 The first alcohol temperance law in the colonies was enacted in Virginia. 1624 In the American colony of Virginia, the upper class was exempted from whipping by legislation. 1934 In Amarillo, TX, the first Mother's-In-Law Day was celebrated. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ The gods too are fond of a joke. --- Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC) "The most unpardonable sin in society is independence of thought." --- Emma Goldman ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ In a second grade class, a little girl asks, "Teacher, can my Mommy get pregnant?" "How old is your mother, dear?" asks the teacher. "Forty." she replies. "Yes, dear, your mother could get pregnant." The little girl then asks, "Can my big sister get pregnant?" "Well, dear, how old is your sister?" "The little girl answers, "Nineteen." "Oh yes, dear, your sister certainly could get pregnant." "The little girl then asks, "Can I get pregnant?" "How old are you, dear? The little girl answers, "I'm seven years old." "No, dear, you can't get pregnant..." Then, the little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke and says, "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about playing scrabble." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The veterinarian told Judy that her dog needed a lot more exercise. You need to make sure the dog runs around, the doctor said. Try playing a game of fetch the ball. "I can't play fetch with my dog," Judy said. "Why not?" the doctor asked. "Because," Judy replied, "He can't throw." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jeremy Miller, Montcalm County, Michigan Michigan official arrested for drunk driving blames damn chicken nuggets. The arrest of a newly-elected county commissioner in Michigan for suspected drunk driving is raising eyebrows after police say he blamed chicken nuggets for his arrest. Montcalm County Commissioner Jeremy Miller was initially stopped in the early morning hours of December 18th for speeding. He was later arrested for suspected drunk driving. When the officer asked Miller if he understood why he was being arrested, the officer said Miller responded, "because I was being stupid, those damn chicken nuggets," according to the police report obtained by FOX 17. The arresting officer said he stopped Miller's vehicle after he was clocked driving 58 mph in a 30 mph zone, according to the police report. The location is within sight of Miller's home less than two blocks away. The officer said he smelled alcohol on Miller. When asked if he'd been drinking, Miller responded he didn't know and it had "been a night." Miller couldn't walk in a straight line during his field sobriety test, the officer reported. An initial breathalyzer test was administered at the scene, followed by two blood tests administered roughly an hour later once Miller had been taken to jail. His blood alcohol level was .13, according to the police report, nearly twice the legal limit. Miller answered the door at his home Wednesday afternoon but refused to comment. He is charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated. A bench trial is scheduled at the end of March. Miller was elected to the Montcalm County Commission in Nov. 2016. The county website says he began serving as commissioner for the county's 1st District on Jan. 1, 2017, weeks after his arrest. Among the committees Miller serves on, the county website lists him as an alternative on the Montcalm Substance Abuse Advisory Council. "Jusch gettin shome prattickal eschperiensche." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: rg Re: File Explorer problem Dear Webby i am now running win W7. Before the file explorer let me have a space in the right file list colum to show the pix and play the music and see pix plus file comments now in W7 there is no space and nothing to see how to i get it to show file comments? thanks rg Dear RG Click on the icon titled "Folders". That will show the right side. Then on top you see an icon that illustrates the setup with the preview column. Click that, and you got the preview. When you need more space for the file names, hit that icon again and the preview goes away. Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks to LadyDi for this one: The lines ARE straight in this Crazy-Quilt | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making No-Cook Playdoh By StellaBell [188 Posts, 178 Comments] This is a recipe for playdoh that doesn't need to be cooked. It is super easy to throw together. I couldn't find any cream of tartar here in Vietnam, which is needed in playdoh recipes that are cooked. I found this recipe for playdoh that doesn't need to be cooked nor does it need cream of tartar. We had a great time making it as well as playing with it. Supplies: 4 cups flour 1 1/2 cups salt 2 Tbsp oil 1 cup warm water food coloring Steps: When we made this, we divided the ingredients into 4. I don't think this step is necessary, because you can add the food coloring to the dough after it is made. Either way works but upon making the play dough a second time, I preferred adding the color after. Add 1/4 cup of water into four separate bowls. Choose the four colors you would like to make. Then in each bowl, add about 5 drops of food coloring and 1/2 Tbsp of oil. Stir. In a large bowl, mix together the salt and flour. Then put 1 cup of this mixture into each bowl. Mix until all ingredients are well incorporated. Knead it some in the bowl. If it feels too dry, add a little more water. Then, on a floured surface, knead the dough. If after kneading, the dough still feels sticky, knead in a little more flour. The dough should be soft. Now let your imagination soar. Have fun! | | Upset little girl poses for camera |
____________________________________________________ During a quarrel with his parents, little LeRoy cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!" With that, he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind. "Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me." "Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I'll go with you." ___________________________________________________ Overheard in the line-up at the bank: Did you go to college?? No, I drink at home, I couldn't afford the $10,000 dollar cover charge! Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today on March 5 1623 The first alcohol temperance law in the colonies was enacted in Virginia. 1624 In the American colony of Virginia, the upper class was exempted from whipping by legislation. 1766 The first Spanish governor of Louisiana, Antonio de Ulloa, arrived in New Orleans. 1770 "The Boston Massacre" took place when British troops fired on a crowd in Boston killing five people. Two British troops were later convicted of manslaughter. 1793 Austrian troops defeated the French and recaptured Liege. 1836 Samuel Colt's Patent Arms Manufacturing of Paterson, New Jersey, was chartered by the New Jersey legislature. 1842 A Mexican force of over 500 men under Rafael Vasquez invaded Texas for the first time since the revolution. They briefly occupied San Antonio, but soon headed back to the Rio Grande. 1845 The U.S. Congress appropriated $30,000 to ship camels to the western U.S. 1867 An abortive Fenian uprising against English rule took place in Ireland. 1868 The U.S. Senate was organized into a court of impeachment to decide charges against President Andrew Johnson. 1872 George Westinghouse patented the air brake. Air brakes were in use, but Westinghouse made them practical with localized air reservoirs at each rail car or truck trailer. 1900 Two U.S. battleships left for Nicaragua to halt revolutionary disturbances. 1901 Germany and Britain began negotiations with hopes of creating an alliance. 1902 In France, the National Congress of Miners decided to call for a general strike for an 8-hour day. 1907 In St. Petersburg, Russia, the new Duma opened. 40,000 demonstrators were dispersed by troops. 1910 In Philadelphia, PA, 60,000 people left their jobs to show support for striking transit workers. 1910 The Moroccan envoy signed the 1909 agreement with France. 1912 The Italians became the first to use dirigibles for military purposes. They used them for reconnaissance flights behind Turkish lines west of Tripoli. 1918 The Soviets moved the capital of Russia from Petrograd to Moscow. 1922 "Annie Oakley" (Phoebe Ann Moses) broke all existing records for women's trap shooting. She hit 98 out of 100 targets. 1923 Old-age pension laws were enacted in the states of Montana and Nevada. 1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered a four-day bank holiday in order to stop large amounts of money from being withdrawn from banks. 1933 The Nazi Party won 44 percent of the vote in German parliamentary elections. 1934 In Amarillo, TX, the first Mother's-In-Law Day was celebrated. 1943 Germany called fifteen- and sixteen-year-olds for military service due to war losses. 1946 Winston Churchill delivered his "Iron Curtain Speech". 1953 Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin died. He had been in power for 29 years. 1956 The U.S. Supreme Court affirmed the ban on segregation in public schools. 1970 A nuclear non-proliferation treaty went into effect after 43 nations ratified it. 1976 The British pound fell below the equivalent of $2 for the first time in history. 1984 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that cities had the right to display the Nativity scene as part of their Christmas display. 1984 The U.S. accused Iraq of using poison gas. 1997 North Korea and South Korea met for first time in 25 years for peace talks. 1998 NASA announced that an orbiting craft had found enough water on the moon to support a human colony and rocket fueling station. 1998 It was announced that Air Force Lt. Col. Eileen Collins would lead crew of Columbia on a mission to launch a large X-ray telescope. She was the first woman to command a space shuttle mission. 2017 Do smiled. |
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