Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, Sept 1 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead award Man Police Say Pointed A Gun At Them In Delray Beach got shot ___________________________________________________ Q Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. --- Plato (427 BC - 347 BC) Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity. --- Albert Camus (1913 - 1960) If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) -------- yeah, me too! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History: 1939, World War II began when Germany invaded Poland. ___________________________________________________ The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two." The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world." But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us." __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ In bygone days, a thin man insulted a fat man. The fat man challenged his tormentor to a duel with pistols. On the day of the duel a debate ensued about the unfair advantage held by the thin man because he was a much smaller target. Finally the thin man came up with a solution. "Let the outline of my figure be chalked upon your body," he said to his opponent, "and any shots of mine that hit outside the chalk lines, we won't count." __________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road. After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes. "Gosh!" exclaimed the new bride. "You certainly have a dangerous job. Don't you ever get bitten by the snakes?" "Yes, on rare occasions," answered the handler. "Well," she continued, "just what do you do when you're bitten by a snake?" "I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make deep criss-cross marks across the fang entry and then suck the poison from the wound." "What, uh...what would happen if you were to accidentally sit on a rattler?" persisted the woman. "Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn who my real friends are." ________________________________________________ A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them. When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had learned to use sign language. The bartender explained that these were regular customers and had taught him to speak in sign. The man thought that was great. A few minutes later the man noticed that the people in the group were waving their hands around very wildly. The bartender looked over and signed "Now cut that out! I warned you!" and threw the group out of the bar. The man asked why he had done that and the bartender said, "If I told them once I told them 100 times - NO SINGING IN THE BAR!" ___________________________________________________ It was "sharing time" in a kindergarten full of bright children. The teacher was presiding over a discussion about the children's parents. One child said, "Well, my mother's a Catholic and my father's Jewish." "Oh, wow!" said another. "So what do you believe?" "I believe in everything," said the first child. "What do you mean 'everything'?" asked another child. "Well, you know," said the first child, "Jesus Christ, Moses, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Snow White, everything." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains who had been friends for years, would always cry "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other. A new crewman asked his buddy "What do they do that for?" The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never heard of... an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?" ___________________________________________________ The Essential Guide to Women's English: Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I'm sorry = You'll be sorry We need = I want It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You'll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead] _______________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Carol RE: File Extensions Dear Webby, I followed your example and bought a refurb W7 for $300. It is FAST! It is like my storebought W7 was 15 years ago, except it was not polluted with all kinds of freebie trial versions. JUST the operating system and Open Office. I LOVE it! Question I got is how do I make it show file extensions in the file explorer and when saving files? Thanks Carol Dear Carol Windows doesn't show file extensions by default, but you can change a single setting and make Windows 7, 8, or 10 always show you each file's full file name. That is actually quite easy, though a bit convoluted. Right-Click the Start, type exp into the search at the bottom That opens a selection box with WINDOWS EXPLORER on top Select that. Careful NOT to fall into Internet Explorer! In Explorer c lick on ORGANIZE at the left top. In there click on FOLDER & Search Options In there, click VIEW Next Click and Uncheck the Hide extensions for known file types check box. Click OK to finish. That is all. Phew! Just keep the Humor Letter open on the side to follow the instructions. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _______________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Steven Magill, Delray Beach, Florida, USA Man Police Say Pointed A Gun At Them In Delray Beach got shot The man who police say pointed a gun in their direction during a welfare call was just released from the hospital after he was shot by deputies. Steven Magill of Via Delray allegedly stood in a canal and pointed a gun at Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office Deputies on August 23rd. At least one of the deputies responded by shooting Magill. The incident was captured on police bodycam. PBSO released a still shot of Magill seemingly pointing a gun at a deputy. He is now charged with aggravated assault on an officer. Magill is being held in the Palm Beach County Jail without bond. PBSO issued this statement just after the shooting. At 11:34 pm, Wednesday, August 23, 2023, Deputies responded to a welfare check in the 5600 block of Via Delray, Delray Beach, according to police. Upon arrival, deputies made contact with an adult male that was threatening suicide. The male began walking up and down a canal bank. Deputies began following the male to establish a rapport with him. At one point the male produced a firearm and placed it to the side of his head. Deputies continued to try to talk to the male, in hopes of offering him mental health services. The male entered the canal which was no more than knee to waist deep and continued walking. Deputies were positioned on both sides of the canal bank following him and continuing to establish a rapport when suddenly the male pointed his weapon at deputies. Deputies discharged their firearms striking the male in the upper torso. The male was transported to a local hospital where he is currently in stable condition and expected to survive. FDLE (the lead investigators), PBSO Violent Crimes detectives and the State Attorneys Office investigators are investigating this Deputy Involved Shooting. PBSO Deputies are currently on administrative leave which is standard department protocol. __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today Sept 1, in 1799, The Bank of Manhattan Company opened in New York City, NY. It was the forerunner of Chase Manhattan. 1807, Former U.S. Vice President Aaron Burr was found innocent of treason. 1810, The first plow with interchangeable parts was patented by John J. Wood. 1859, The Pullman sleeping car was placed into service. 1878, Emma M. Nutt became the first female telephone operator in the U.S. The company was the Telephone Dispatch Company of Boston. 1884, The Thomas A. Edison Construction Department and the Edison Company for Isolated Lighting merged. 1887, Emile Berliner filed for a patent for his invention of the lateral-cut, flat-disk gramophone. It is a device that is better known as a record player. Thomas Edison made the idea work. 1897, The first section of Boston's subway system was opened. 1905, Saskatchewan and Alberta became the ninth and tenth provinces of Canada. 1939, World War II began when Germany invaded Poland. 1942, A federal judge in Sacramento, CA, upheld the wartime detention of Japanese-Americans as well as Japanese nationals. 1945, The U.S. received official word of Japan's formal surrender that ended World War II. In Japan, it was actually September 2nd. 1951, The ANZUS Treaty, a mutual defense pact, was signed by the U.S., Australia and New Zealand. 1952, The Ernest Hemingway novel "The Old Man and the Sea" was published. 1969, Col. Moammar Gadhafi came into power in Libya after the government was overthrown. 1979, The U.S. Pioneer 11 became the first spacecraft to visit Saturn. 1982, Mexican President Jose Lopez Portillo closed all the country's private banks. 1985, The Titanic was found by Dr. Robert Ballard and Jean Louis Michel in a joint U.S. and French expedition. The wreck site is located 963 miles northeast of New York and 453 miles southeast of the Newfoundland coast. 1986, Jerry Lewis raised a record $34 million for Muscular Dystrophy during his annual telethon for Jerrys kids over the Labor Day weekend. 1997, In France, the prosecutor's office announced that the driver of the car, in which Britain's Princess Diana was killed, was over the legal alcohol limit. 1998, The movie "Titanic" went on sale across North America. 1998, J.K. Rowling's book "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" was released in the U.S. This was the first book in the Harry Potter series. 1998, Vietnam released 5,000 prisoners, including political dissidents, on National Day. 2023, Do smiled.
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