Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, October 21 home4christmas.com is for sale! Make an offer! $50 minimum. You can use it for anything you want. Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: South Carolina teen accused of shooting at road sign, accidentally killing a Marine on his front porch ______________________________________________________ Today, October 21 in 1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per minute on a manual typewriter. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
People might not get all they work for in this world, but they must certainly work for all they get. --- Frederick Douglass (1817 - 1895) ______________________________________________________ "Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, do fifty sit-ups, and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!" He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!" "Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ He loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. Miss a ferry late at night, and you have to spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan. So when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck. He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?' "Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute. The ferry is just about to dock." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ On a recent evening a family sat in a darkened theater waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, they noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence continued for several moments. Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd demanded, "Okay, who's siting on the remote?" ______________________________________________________ Senators at the dump road If you want to see thousands of them, go to "Council Flats" in Haines, Alaska. They snag dead salmon drifting down the river, fly up to some tree and eat it, then sit there waiting until it is digested, then they go get another salmon. With a Million salmon going up river to spawn and die, you can watch that for 3 - 4 weeks. There are lots of bears there too. They grab live salmon heading up river. You can take pictures from safe pull-outs on the Haines Road. It is maybe not too late to reserve a hotel room for October 2021. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Eason Reid Gravley, 17, Greenwood County, South Carolina South Carolina teen accused of shooting at road sign, accidentally killing Marine on his front porch A South Carolina teenager is accused of firing a gun at a road sign and accidentally shooting and killing a Marine on his porch. The State newspaper reported 17-year-old Eason Reid Gravley faces charges of involuntary manslaughter and possession of a handgun in connection to the death of 48-year-old Joe Darius Black. The suspect allegedly fired the gun at about 11:30 p.m. Wednesday in Greenwood County, fatally hitting the victim in the chest. The bullet passed through or by the road sign and into a wooded area near Black's home, according to deputies. Black leaves behind a wife and four children. He retired from the U.S. Marine Corps after serving 20 years. From: Coral Re: Need a filter for foreign spam Dear Webby That trick was slick! It catches 2-3 spams every single download, and never a false alarm like with those long and convoluted ones from those paid subscriptions! I love it! Got any more gems like that? I need one for catching Russian or Asian spam. Coral Dear Coral Glad you like it! OK, here is another one like that: I call it base64 Mark for blacklisting Mark for Deleting On Process ANY rules If the Entire header -- contains -- base64 If the Entire header -- contains -- iso-9959-1 If the body -- contains -- Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64 Keep it red and visible or a month to see if you get any false alarms. I haven't had any false alarms and made it invisible. For those who are new to MailWasher: You can give each filter a long and descriptive name and also a short status name that shows up in the list with the spam that it caught. You can choose the color for the status name. I use different shades of red for new filters that I am still testing and watching, sh*t brown for spam filters that have proven themselves to be reliable, green for friends, so that even if they jokingly use typical spam words, they won't get dumped, and blue for business contacts and subscriptions. You can of course use any of 16 Million colors of your choice, whatever colors make the most sense for you. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 40 years." The mule answered, "To live like this for 40 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so. Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 30 years." And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 30 years as a dog is too much. Please, no more than 15 years." And it was so. God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are Monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years." And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years." And it was so. Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years." And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so. And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like a clown to amuse his grandchildren. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
**BEEP** You have reached the Breast Cancer Self-Examination Hotline. Press one to continue. (pause) Now, press the other one. **BEEP** ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Shop at Antique Malls or Flea Markets When you are shopping for Christmas, don't overlook antique malls and flea markets. You can find some unique and unusual gifts that you can't find elsewhere (or make yourself) for a variety of prices, even as cheap as a few dollars! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Ontario's Allan Gardens Conservatory |
___________________________________________________ A woman comes home one day and says to her dead-beat husband, "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 a.m. start, 2 p.m. finish, no over- time, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!" "That's great," her husband says. "Yeah, I thought so, too," she agrees. "You start Monday." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Four mothers were having coffee together discussing (bragging) how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'." The third catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'." The fourth woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well.....?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hard-bodied, male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, the women say, 'Oh my God'" | Today October 21 in 1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, was launched in Boston's harbor. 1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain. The British defeated the French and Spanish fleet. 1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris. 1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp. It would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out. 1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during World War I near Nancy, France. 1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per minute on a manual typewriter. 1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the Electric Show in New York City, NY. 1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had fined 29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations. 1927 In New York City, construction began on the George Washington Bridge. 1944 During World War II, the German city of Aachen was reduced to rubble and captured by U.S. troops. 1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time. 1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet. 1959 The Guggenheim Museum was opened to the public in New York. The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. 1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, in opposition to the Vietnam War. 1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed to Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there. 1986 The U.S. ordered 55 Soviet diplomats to leave. The action was in reaction to the Soviet Union expelling five American diplomats. 1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was released after nearly five years of being imprisoned. 1993 The play "The Twilight of the Golds" opened. 1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring North Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to inspections. 1998 Cancer specialist Dr. Jane Henney became the FDA's first female commissioner. 2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial birth abortions. 2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's offer of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for the communist nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons program. 2018 Do smiled. |
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