Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, June 1 ___________________________________________________ Today, June 1 in 1896 In Paris, France, the first recorded automobile theft occurred. The Peugeot of Baron de Zuylen de Nyevelt was stolen by his mechanic. ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Missouri man charged with 9 felonies in bridge shooting ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. --- Steven Wright (1955 - ) _____________________________________________________ Two drunks are sitting at a bar. The first one says, "What's this thing they call a Breathalyzer'?" The second guy says, "It's a bag that can tell how much you drank." The first guy says, "I married one of those things years ago." __________________________________________ Fox in Wetaskiwin, Alberta Photo by Ron Asp __________________________________________ Cindy puts a book on the librarian's desk and says, "This book has no story and way too many characters." The librarian says, "So that's where the phone book went." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jason Randell Westrem, 37, Houston City, Missouri Missouri man charged with 9 felonies in bridge shooting A 37-year-old Kansas City-area man was charged Friday with attempted first-degree murder and eight other felonies after authorities say he randomly fired into traffic on a bridge that connects Kansas and Missouri. The charges filed in Leavenworth County, Kansas, District Court against Jason Randell Westrem, of Houston City, Missouri, include four counts of firing into an occupied vehicle, two counts of aggravated assault and two counts of aggravated endangerment of a child. Two children were passengers in a vehicle that came under fire Wednesday on the Centennial Bridge near Fort Leavenworth. A soldier stationed at the Army post hit the shooter with his car to stop the firing. One person, also a soldier, was wounded, and the suspect was injured and remains hospitalized, according to Leavenworth County Attorney Todd Thompson. Thompson declined to comment about the details of the case ahead of court hearings. It was not immediately clear whether Westrem has an attorney. Leavenworth police officers initially believed they were responding to a road rage incident on the bridge. Instead, they discovered that a man had been using multiple weapons to fire randomly at vehicles. The soldier who ran over the gunman had been waiting in traffic when he saw what was happening. So he sstepped on it and rammed the shooter. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Lynn Re: Find lost picture Dear Webby, I need to find a picture, that I KNOW I got, somewhere. Due to advanced CRS, I can't remember where I put it to make sure I can find it again. It is Trump's fault, of course ;-) I don't remember the complete file name either, just part of it. So I need a program, that can use Artificial Intelligence, since my natural one has gone away, or a fuzzy search. What have you got? Lynn Dear Lynn Try Search Everything. You get it at https://www.voidtools.com/ It is a truly phatastic program. The only mystery about it is why it is still free. You type in whatever part of the file name you remember, and tell it what it is, picture, document, program, etc. And let it run. It is surprisingly fast and scours your hard drive for anything, that includes the name of your ex or your next or whatever you are searching for. If your machine has just barely enough RAM, exit the program once you have the picture. Especially if you still run with 47 tabs open in Chrome, and music playing, the RAM used by Everything could cause a slow-down. I have used "Search Everything" for many years, and I love it. There is no other program as efficient or fast. Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ | | Making Friends With An Owl |
_____________________________________________ Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? Now, think about it..... Ready??? ARE YOU SURE??? Answer: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, 1 beaver, an unknown number of hares, and a fish no one can find. _____________________________________________ The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it. After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard. The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled. It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together without even reading instructions." "To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read, and when you can't read, you've got to think." _____________________________________________ Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food & fire area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just watching. Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and they had a great idea! They could sit on top of the boulders and get a better view of their wives working. This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ulti- mately led to television...and later to the remote control. ____________________________________________ Brotha Steve writes and tells me this is a true story. Recently I was in a restaurant having breakfast. A woman came in and said she needed to get a "to-go order." She said she was in a hurry because she had to get online and talk . . . "to her AOL friends." (She actually said those very words.) She then ordered eggs, potatoes, and toast. When asked if she wanted bacon, she replied, "No, I don't eat pork. But I would like a double order of sausages, please." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today June 1 in 1533 Anne Boleyn, Henry VIIIs new queen, was crowned. 1774 The British government ordered the Port of Boston closed. 1789 The first U.S. congressional act on administering oaths became law. 1861 The first skirmish of the U.S. Civil War took place at the Fairfax Court House, Virginia. 1869 Thomas Edison received a patent for his electric voting machine. It was never used. 1877 U.S. troops were authorized to pursue bandits into Mexico. 1892 The General Electric Company (GE) began operations after the merging of the Edison General Electric and the Thomson-Houston Electric companies. 1896 In Paris, France, the first recorded automobile theft occurred. The Peugeot of Baron de Zuylen de Nyevelt was stolen by his mechanic. 1915 Germany conducted the first zeppelin air raid over England. 1916 The National Defense Act increased the strength of the U.S. National Guard by 450,000 men. 1921 A race riot erupted in Tulsa, OKlahoma. 85 people were killed. 1935 The Ingersoll-Waterbury Company reported that it had produced 2.5 million Mickey Mouse watches during its 2- year association with Disney. 1938 Baseball helmets were worn for the first time. 1939 The Douglas DC-4 made its first passenger flight from Chicago to New York. 1941 The German Army completed the capture of Crete as the Allied evacuation ended. 1942 The U.S. began sending Lend-Lease materials to the Soviet Union. 1943 During World War II, Germans shot down a civilian flight from Lisbon to London. 1944 The French resistance was warned by a coded message from the British that the D-Day invasion was imminent. 1944 Siesta was abolished by the government of Mexico. 1954 In the Peanuts comic strip, Linus' security blanket made its debut. 1958 Charles de Gaulle became the premier of France. 1958 IBM ended its design of machines that contained electronic tubes. 1961 Radio listeners in New York, California, and Illinois were introduced to FM multiplex stereo broadcasting. A year later the FCC made this a standard. 1963 Governor George Wallace vowed to defy an injunction that ordered the integration of the University of Alabama. 1970 Zimbabwe came into existence. It was formerly known as Rhodesia. 1972 In Iraq, The Ba'athist government nationalized the western-owned Iraq Petroleum Company and turned operations over to the Iraq National Oil Company. 1977 The Soviet Union formally charged Jewish human rights activist Anatoly Shcharansky with treason. He was imprisoned until 1986. 1978 The U.S. reported the finding of wiretaps in the American embassy in Moscow. 1979 In the U.S., the government-controlled ceiling on oil prices ends. The control was phased out over 28 months. 1980 Cable News Network (CNN) made its debut as the first all-news station. 1989 Disney World's "Typhoon Lagoon" opened. 1995 At Disneyland Paris, the attraction "Space Mountain: From The Earth to the Moon" opened. 1998 In the U.S., the FDA approved a urine-only test for the AIDS virus. 1998 A $124 million suit was brought against Goodyear Tire & Rubber that alleged discrimination towards black workers. 1999 Merrill Lynch chairman David Komansky announced that the firm would soon allow its customers to buy and sell stocks over the Internet. 2008 The Phoenix Mars Lander became the first NASA spacecraft to scoop Martian soil. 2009 The first event, a George Strait concert, was held at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, TX. 2009 General Motors filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. The filing made GM the largest U.S. industrial company to enter bankruptcy protection. 2020 Do smiled. |
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