Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, August 22 The eclipse was quite neat through my old gas welding goggles. This was the 4th eclipse I watched with them. As always I was surprised at how sharp the sun looks through them. Not uncomfortably bright, but very sharp. The neatest trick, though, was what Noella did. She used a mirror to shine the eclipse onto her neighbors siding. Keep that in mind for the next one! Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Illinois Professor's Twisted Fantasies Led to Stabbing  Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Aug 22 in 1775 The American colonies were proclaimed to be in a state of open rebellion by England's King George III. He noticed! See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ "Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today." --- Benjamin Franklin "Procrastinate Now! --- Hilary ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach on Noah and the Ark on the following Sunday, and gave the scriptural reference for the congregation to read ahead of time. A couple of boys noticed something interesting about the placement of the story in the Bible. They slipped into the church and glued two pages of the pulpit Bible together. The next Sunday, the preacher got up to read his text. "Noah took unto himself a wife," he began, "and she was" - he turned the page to continue - "three hundred cubits long, fifty wide and thirty high." He paused, scratched his head, turned the page back, read it silently, and turned the page again. Then he looked up at his congregation and said, "I've been reading this old Bible for near fifty years, but there are some things in it that still amaze me." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Cow! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to continue for the next 10 minutes. ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Wyndham Lathem Andrew Warren Chicago, Illinois  Illinois Professor's Twisted Fantasies Led to Stabbing  Two men from the academic world joined forces to live out their twisted murder fantasy, prosecutors said at a hearing for Wyndham Lathem and Andrew Warren in Chicago Sunday. Prosecutors said Lathem, a microbiology professor at Northwestern University, and Warren, a treasurer at Oxford University, communicated for months in an online chat room about their "sexual fantasies of killing others and then themselves," the Chicago Tribune reports. Prosecutors said the men decided to kill other people before killing each other simultaneously. Lathem allegedly decided that their first victim would be Trenton Cornell-Duranleau, his 26-year- old boyfriend. Prosecutors said that on July 27, days after Lathem paid for Warren to travel to the US to carry out their fantasies, they attacked Cornell-Duranleau while he was asleep in Lathem's apartment, the AP reports. The medical examiner testified that the attack left him with 70 stab wounds, some of which almost decapitated him. The two men then went on the run instead of carrying out their plan to kill each other, prosecutors say. After eight days, they surrendered to authorities in California. Lathem's lawyer told the court that his client, a plague expert who has since been fired by Northwestern, is a "distinguished microbiologist," but the judge denied bail for both men. "The heinous facts speak for themselves," he said.  _________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Rosa Re: Find newsletters Dear Webby, Is there a site somewhere where I can find and select specific newsletters and see a sample or try them out? Thanks Rosa  Dear Rosa if you vote for the Humor Letter, then you are already there. if you don't vote, browse to http://www.ezinefinder.com/top_rated.html and you will see over 500 top rated newsletters. Each has a short description, and it tells you how often it is issued, for example daily, weekly, monthly. You also see the votes from the subscribers. The votes show you how lively and responsive the subscribers are. Lots of votes indicate a responsive reader family that keeps the author on the straight and narrow. Few votes indicate an audience that does not care or has given up reading. Once you have found what you were looking for, you can subscribe right from there Have FUN! DearWebby    
 WHAT IS A CAT? 1. Cats do what they want. 2. They never listen to you. 3. They're totally unpredictable. 4. They whine when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play, they want to be alone. 6. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 7. They expect you to cater to their every whim. 8. They're moody. 9. They leave hair everywhere. 10. They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg. Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats. WHAT IS A DOG? 1. Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. 2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away. 3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time. 4. They growl when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play, they want to play. 6. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 7. They are great at begging. 8. They will love you forever if you rub their tummies. 9. They leave their toys everywhere. 10. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss. Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats. 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remedy for Too Much Perfume  Most people don't even realize they are wearing too much perfume. If you can still smell your perfume a half hour after putting it on, you likely are wearing too much. To help prevent putting too much on, spray it in front of you and then walk through the spray. To remove excess perfume, make a paste of water and baking soda and rub it where you applied the perfume, then rinse off the area with water. Tip provided by http://www.ThriftyFun.com ____________________________________________________  
  
 
 Science tricks 
 ____________________________________________________  Judi was talking to Monika one morning about a recent NASA new article. Judi said, "I can see how astronomers figure out the distance of stars and their size and temperatures and all that. But there's one thing I can't figure out." "What's that?" Monika asked. "How do they find out what the stars' names are?" ___________________________________________________  
 
 Badass trees that refuse to die. 2017. 
 ___________________________________________________ A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, "Why they don't you eat the peanuts yourself?". "We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied. The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?" The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them." 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Barry M for this report: There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses! I thought the results were pretty interesting: 85% of women think their ass is too fat. 10% of women think their ass is too skinny. The other 5% sayd they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they would have married him anyway. ____________________________________________________ 
 Today, August 22, in 1485 The War of the Roses ended with the death of England's King Richard III. He was killed in the Battle of Bosworth Field. His successor was Henry VII. 1567 The "Council of Blood" was established by the Duke of Alba. This was the beginning of his reign of terror in the Netherlands. 1642 The English Civil War began when Charles I called Parliament and its soldiers traitors. 1762 Ann Franklin became the editor of the Mercury of Newport in Rhode Island. She was the first female editor of an American newspaper. 1770 Australia was claimed under the British crown when Captain James Cook landed there. 1775 The American colonies were proclaimed to be in a state of open rebellion by England's King George III. He noticed! 1846 The U.S. annexed New Mexico. 1851 The schooner America outraced the Aurora off the English coast to win a trophy that became known as the America's Cup. 1865 A patent for liquid soap was issued to William Sheppard. 1902 In Hartford, CT, U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first president of the United States to ride in an automobile. 1906 The Victor Talking Machine Company of Camden, NJ began to manufacture the Victrola. The hand-cranked unit, with horn cabinet, sold for $200. 1910 Japan formally annexed Korea. 1911 It was announced that Leonardo da Vinci's "Mona Lisa" had been stolen from the Louvre Museum in Paris. The painting reappeared two years later in Italy. 1932 The BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) began its first TV broadcast in England. 1941 Nazi troops reached the outskirts of Leningrad during World War II. 1951 75,052 people watched the Harlem Globetrotters perform. It was the largest crowd to see a basketball game. 1959 Stephen Rockefeller married Anne Marie Rasmussen. Anne had once been a maid for the powerful and wealthy Rockefeller family. 1968 Pope Paul VI arrived in Bogota, Colombia, for the start of the first papal visit to Latin America. 1972 Due to its racial policies, Rhodesia was asked to withdraw from the 20th Olympic Summer Games. 1973 Henry Kissinger was named Secretary of State by U.S. President Nixon. Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize in the same year. 1984 The last Volkswagen Rabbit rolled off the assembly line in New Stanton, PA. 1986 Kerr-McGee Corp. agreed to pay the estate of the late Karen Silkwood $1.38 million to settle a 10-year-old nuclear contamination lawsuit. 1989 Nolan Ryan became the first major league pitcher to strike out 5000 batters. (MLB) 1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush signed an order for calling reservists to aid in the build up of troops in the Persian Gulf. 1990 The U.S. State Department announced that the U.S. Embassy in Kuwait would not be closed under President Saddam Hussein's demand. 1990 Angry smokers blocked a street in Moscow to protest the summer-long cigarette shortage. 1991 It was announced by Yugoslavia that a truce ordered on August 7th with Croatia had collapsed. 1991 Mikhail S. Gorbachev returned to Moscow after the collapse of the hard-liners' coup. On the same day he purged the men that had tried to oust him. 1992 In Rostock, Germany, neo-Nazi violence broke out against foreigners. 1996 U.S. President Clinton signed legislation that ended guaranteed cash payments to the poor and demanded work from recipients. 2004 In Oslo, Norway, a version of Edvard Munch's "The Scream" and his work "Madonna" were stolen from the Munch Museum. This version of "The Scream," one of four different versions, was a tempera painting on board. 2017 Do smiled.
 
 
 

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