Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, December 7 ____________________________________________________ Today, December 7 in 1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in the U.S. entering into World War II one day after Canada. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Florida Man With Sprawling 'Do Nabbed On Grand Theft Charge _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) _______________________________________________ There was football game between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals. At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss. The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?" "I did" said the centipede. "Who stopped the rhino?" "Uh, that was me too" said the centipede. "And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?" "Well, that was me as well," said the centipede. "SO WHERE WERE YOU THE FIRST HALF?" demanded the coach. "Well" said the centipede, "I was putting all my boots on. ________________________________________________` Great Beds Lighthouse ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Emmanuel Reggin, 18, Miami, Floriduh Florida Man With Sprawling 'Do Nabbed On Grand Theft Charge A seasonal UPS worker was arrested yesterday and charged with stealing parcels containing more than $1000 worth of electronics, according to Florida cops. Emmanuel Reggin, 18, was busted on a felony grand theft charge. Reggin allegedly swiped packages that were supposed to be delivered in the Miami area. The teenager is accused of stealing two Kindles, an iPad, and a laptop. He was released on bond yesterday and is scheduled for arraignment on January 2. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Mellie Re: Firewall Dear Webby you really give good advise in your column, so I thought you'd be the one to ask. What does a firewall do? How does it work, How necessary is it, and where can I get one for free. I already have a good virus program, but no firewall, and I'm thinking it's time to get one. Thanks for all the help. Mellie Dear Mellie A firewall blocks hackers that are probing your computer and trying to sneak in. Being able to block for example ads.web.aol.com from trying a few thousand times a day from trying to sneak weird stuff onto your computer will speed up your connection. Firewalls tell you who is trying to break in and make a log off the attempts. The better ani-malware programs have a built in firewall. That is another reason I like MalwareBytes. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Thanks to Mark for this report: I asked Betty the other day what she liked most about me. "Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body? Or, rather, is it my astounding intellect?" "Your wacky sense of humor, dear." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the scientist was done talking, God said, "Very well, how about this? Let's say we have a man-making contest." To which the scientist replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now, we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The scientist said, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God looked at him and said, "Nah, you got to make your own dirt!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Heel Marks on the Floor First, the best way to prevent heel marks is to have a "no shoes" policy in your house. If you have a heel mark you need to remove, just rub it with a pencil eraser. A "magic" eraser works well for removing heel marks on floors or baseboards. Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, Sarah decided she had been stood up. Exasperated, she changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and hot chocolate and resigned herself to an evening of TV. No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV when the doorbell rang. Her dad went to the door and there stood her date. He took one look at Sarah on the couch and gasped... "I'm two hours late and she's still not ready?" ___________________________________________________ We had been trying for a child for years, so I was ecstatic when I got up at five one morning, took a home pregnancy test and found I was expecting. "Richard," I yelled to my husband, "we're going to have a baby!" "Great," he said and rolled over. "How can you go back to sleep?" Muttering into his pillow, he said, "I'm stocking up." ___________________________________________________ An American tourist in Tel Aviv was about to enter the impressive Mann Auditorium to take in a concert by the Israel Philharmonic. He was admiring the unique architecture, the sweeping lines of the entrance, and the modern decor throughout the building. Finally he turned to his escort and asked if the building was named for Thomas Mann, the world-famous author. "No," his friend said, "it's named for Morris Mann, from Philadelphia." "Really? I never heard of him. What did he write?" "A check." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, December 7 in 1431 In Paris, Henry VI of England was crowned King of France. 1732 The original Covent Garden Theatre Royal (now the Royal Opera House) was opened. 1787 Delaware became the first state to ratify the U.S. constitution becoming the first of the United States. 1925 Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the 150- yard freestyle with a time of 1 minute, 25 and 2/5 seconds. He went on to play "Tarzan" in several movies. 1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The Electrolux Servel Corporation. 1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in the U.S. entering into World War II one day after Canada. 1946 A fire at the Winecoff Hotel in Atlanta killed 119 people. It was America's worst hotel fire disaster. The hotel founder, W. Frank Winecoff, was also killed in the fire. 1971 Libya announced the nationalization of British Petroleum's assets. 1972 Apollo 17 was launched at Cape Canaveral. It was the last U.S. moon mission. 1972 Imelda Marcos, wife of Philippine President Ferdinand E. Marcos, was stabbed and seriously wounded by an assailant. The man was then shot and killed by her bodyguards. 1974 President Makarios returned to Cyprus after five months in exile. 1980 General Antonio Ramlho Eanes was reelected president of Portugal. His right-wing opposition was thrown into disarray by the death of Premier Francisco Sa Carneiro in a plane crash. 1982 Charlie Brooks Junior, a convicted murderer, became the first prisoner in the U.S. to be executed by injection, at a prison in Huntsville, TX. 1983 Madrid, Spain, an Aviaco DC-9 collided on a runway with an Iberia Air Lines Boeing 727 that was accelerating for takeoff. The collision resulted in the death of all 42 people aboard the DC-9 and 51 on the Iberia jet. 1987 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev set foot on American soil for the first time. He had come to the U.S. for a Washington summit with U.S. President Reagan. 1987 43 people were killed when a gunman opened fire on a fellow passenger and the two pilots aboard a Pacific Southwest Airlines jetliner. 1988 An estimated 25,000 people were killed when a major earthquake hit northern Armenia in the Soviet Union. The quake measured 6.9 on the Richter Scale. 1988 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced the reduction of the number of Soviet military troops by half a million. 1989 East Germany's Communist Party agreed to cooperate with the plan for free elections and a revised constitution. 1992 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected a Mississippi abortion law which required women to get counseling and then wait 24 hours before terminating their pregnancies. 1993 Six people were killed and 17 were injured when a gunman opened fire on a Long Island Rail Road commuter train. 1993 Energy Secretary Hazel O'Leary revealed that the U.S. government had conducted more than 200 nuclear weapons tests in secret at its Nevada test site. 1993 Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders suggested that the U.S. government study the impact of drug legalization. 1995 A probe sent from the Galileo spacecraft entered into Jupiter's atmosphere. The probe sent back data to the mothership before it was presumably destroyed. 1996 The space shuttle Columbia returned from the longest-ever shuttle flight of 17 days, 15 hours and 54 minutes. 1998 The U.N. evacuated 14 peacekeepers that were trapped by fighting between army and rebel forces in central Angola. 1998 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an independent counsel investigation of President Clinton over 1996 campaign financing. 1999 A U.S. federal grand jury indicted a former convict in the 1995 disappearance of atheist leader Madalyn Murray O'Hair. 2002 In Amsterdam, Netherlands, two Van Gogh paintings were stolen from the Van Gogh Museum. The two works were "View of the Sea st Scheveningen" and "Congregation Leaving the Reformed Church in Nuenen." On July 26, 2004, two men were convicted for the crime and were sentenced to at least four years in prison each. 2002 In Mymensingh, Bangladesh, four movie theaters were bombed within 30 minutes of each other. At least 15 people were killed and over 200 were injured. 2003 A 12-inch by 26-inch painting of a river landscape and sailing vessel by Martin Johnson Heade was sold at auction for $1 million. The painting was found in the attic of a suburban Boston home where it had been stored for more than 60 years. 2019 Do smiled. |
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