Good Morning, Do, Today is Friday, July 14 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: NH Woman arrested twice in five hours after she demanded drugs back and wanted to drive Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 14 in 1789 French Revolution began when Parisians stormed the Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ You can fool too many of the people too much of the time. --- James Thurber (1894 - 1961) A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace. "How many of you," he asked, "would say you're opposed to war?" Not surprisingly, all hands went up. The teacher asked, "Who'll give us the reason for being opposed to war?" A large, bored-looking kid in the back of the room raised his hand. "Do?" the teacher said. "I hate war," Do said, "because wars make history, and I hate History!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A European cruise ship captain has to convince the passengers of his sinking ship to jump overboard. He has to use a different approach with each European. He tells the English it would be unsporting of them not to jump. He tells the French it would be the smart thing to do. He tells the Germans that it is an order. He tells the Russians that there is a duty-fre store on the shore. He tells the Americans there is a nudist camp on the shore, And he tells the Italians that jumping overboard is forbidden. ______________________________________________________ Bubble_Nebula_NGC_7635 _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Emily Morin, 26, Concord, New Hampshire Concord, NH Woman arrested twice in five hours after she demanded drugs back and wanted to drive Emily Morin, 26, of Concord faces several charges after she was arrested twice on Tuesday, police said. Morin was charged with willful concealment and possession of Suboxone about 11 a.m., after being charged earlier with shoplifting from the Macy's Department Store at the Mall at Rockingham Park, police said. Police said they subsequently learned that her driver's license and registration were suspended. Morin was released on $2,500 bail. Her bail conditions included that she commit no crimes while free on bail and that she not drive until her license was reinstated by the state Department of Motor Vehicles, police said. About five hours later, at 3:30 p.m., police said that Morin showed up at the Salem Police Station demanding that the arresting officer return her Suboxone, which had been seized as evidence. Officer Andrew Feole said he explained to her that he "would not be handing her the drugs." Feole said Morin proceeded to get into the driver's seat of a Volvo in the police station parking lot and back out. She refused to get out of the car at Feole's request, police said. Morin was placed under arrest, but continued to sit in the car, police said. Feole said he was forced to open the car door and remove Morin from the vehicle before holding her against the car to handcuff her. In addition to the shoplifting, Morin faces charges of willful concealment, possession of a controlled drug, suspension of vehicle registration, driving after revocation/suspension, resisting arrest and breach of bail. She was arraigned in Salem District Court on Wednesday morning. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Denise Re: Drop-Box to stick Dear Webby, Dear Webby, Can you explain how I can transfer pictures from Dropbox to a stick? Dednise Dear Denise If they are downloaded to your computer in the Dropbox folder then just move them like you would any other file/folder as thats exactly what they are. If they are online you'll need to go to www.dropbox.com/home first and select the ones you want to download and then download them to the flash drive. If you select multiple files they'll download as a zip so you may need to unzip them. Have FUN! DearWebby A major research institution has announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet know to science - "governmentium." It has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons for an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons that are further surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like sub particles called peons. Governmentium has no electrons and is therefore inert. It can be detected however since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. A tiny amount of governmentium can take a reaction that normally occurs in seconds and slow it to the point where it takes many months. Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years. It doesn't decay but "re-organizes", a process where assistant deputy neutrons and deputy neutrons change places. This process actually causes it to grow as in the confusion some morons become neutrons, thereby forming isodopes. This phenomenon of "moron promotion" has led to some speculation that governmentium forms whenever sufficient morons meet in concentration, forming critical morass. Researches believe that in Governmentium, the more you reorganize, the morass you cover. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Rags Instead of Paper Towels Tired of spending money on paper towels? Sending them to a landfill is not good for the environment. Instead, use rags: Worn out towels, old fabric etc. When these rags might have seen their last scrub, their useful life is not over. Layer 2 or 3 rags and sew them together, each about 12 inches square. Then place your old soap ends and maybe some stinky soap you won't bathe with in the center. Tie the layers together (with your favorite rag on the outside) with a strong string or cord and make a pouch. You can tie this soapy wonder in an outdoor wash area or from the faucet in the bathroom. No fuss or muss, and no icky slime on the sink. When it wears out, compost it and make another. By sue123 from Oroville, CA ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A Texan looked up at the top of a tall building and discovered a man ready to jump! "Stop," he yelled, "Remember you're someone who has value!" The man yelled back, "I just lost everything of value in the stock market!" "But remember you're important to your wife," yelled the Texan. "She divorced me." "Your children! Remember your children," yelled the Texan. "They never call," said the man. "Then your parents. Remember your parents," yelled the Texan. "Dead as doornails," said the man. "Then 'Remember the Alamo'," yelled the Texan. "What's the Alamo?" inquired the man. To which the Texan replied: "Jump, you stupid Yankee, JUMP !" ___________________________________________________ | | Classic humorous photos from Life magazine. |
___________________________________________________ Lola is on the phone, "Hello? Pizza Shack? Do you have anything on special?" From the other end of the line comes, "Yeah, our veggie haters delight. It has twelve kinds of meat and five different cheeses. Lola asks, "Does anything come with that?" "A coupon for WeightWatchers." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ For the four executives, the high point of the annual stockholders meeting was their Sunday afternoon golf game. They had just teed off on the twelfth hole when the assistant golf pro came tearing across the green, red- faced and out of breath. "Mr. Rudeneck, Mr. Rudeneck!" he gasped, "I have terrible news. Your wife has just been killed in a car accident." Rudeneck turned to his companions and said, "Guys, I gotta warn you. Six more holes and you're gonna see a man crying his eyes out." ____________________________________________________ | Today, on July 14, in 1223 In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip Augustus. 1430 Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais. 1456 Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of Belgrade. 1536 France and Portugal signed the naval treaty of Lyons, which aligned them against Spain. 1789 French Revolution began when Parisians stormed the Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside. 1798 The U.S. Congress passed the Sedition Act. The act made it a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false or malicious statements about the U.S. government. 1868 Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure. 1900 European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the rebelling Boxers. 1911 Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of the White House to accept an award from U.S. President William Taft. 1914 Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel. 1933 All German political parties except the Nazi Party were outlawed. 1940 A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt, from bases in Crete. 1941 Vichy French Foreign Legionaries signed an armistice in Damascus, which allowed them to join the Free French Foreign Legion. 1945 American battleships and cruisers bombarded the Japanese home islands for the first time. 1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock's "The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care" was first published. 1951 The George Washington Carver National Monument in Joplin, MO, became the first national park to honor an African American. 1958 The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy. 1965 The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, and sent back photographs of the planet. 1998 Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion over the dangers of secondhand smoke. 2001 Beijing was awarded the 2008 Olympics. It was the first time that China had been awarded the games. 2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications downloaded. 2008 In Japan, construction began on the Tokyo Skytree tower. 2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion applications downloaded. 2015 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft became the first space mission to explore Pluto. 2017 Do smiled. |
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