Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, January 17 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, January 17, in 1997 A court in Ireland granted the first divorce in the Roman Catholic country's history. ___________________________________________________ It is the nature of all greatness not to be exact. --- Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797) ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Convicted sex offender rapes disabled woman in Sarasota, Florida, parking lot ____________________________________________________ Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from the children. ____________________________________________________ Robert Badia Montserrat ____________________________________________________ "We live in a great country," the kindergarten teacher said. "One of the reasons we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free." One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said . . . "I'm not free. I'm four!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Frank Szakacs, Sarasota, Florida, USA Convicted sex offender rapes disabled woman in Sarasota parking lot A convicted sex offender is accused of raping a non-verbal woman with autism in a Sarasota parking lot while her mother was inside a store, according to the Sarasota County Sheriffs Office. It happened in the 1800 block of Stickney Point Road around 7 p.m. on Tuesday. The victim's mother told deputies she went inside a store while her 21-year-old daughter, who has developmental disabilities and the capacities of a six or seven-year-old child, waited in the passenger seat of the vehicle. When the mother exited the store 10 minutes later, she said she found the suspect, later identified as 61-year-old Frank Szakacs, inside her vehicle and on top of her daughter. Detectives say a friend of Szakacs witnessed the incident and told them that he is a registered sex offender. Szakacs was located in a wooded area near the parking lot where the incident occurred, taken into custody and charged with sexual assault and kidnapping. Szakacs has ten prior arrests in Sarasota County for crimes including sex offender violation, battery, and DUI. He was originally convicted in 1996 of Gross Sexual Imposition in Cuyahoga, Ohio. He then failed to meet sex offender registration requirements in 2019 in Sarasota and was sentenced to three years in prison. He was released on November 30, 2021, and registered as a transient living in Venice and more recently, as a transient living along Ashton Road in Sarasota. Szakacs has been in prison several times, including in 1987 for robbery and 2016 for his fourth or subsequent DUI conviction. In total, Szakacs has 29 prior charges and four convictions, according to SCSO. The investigation is ongoing and additional charges are pending. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Lambo Re: Sharp long distance pictures Dear Webby, OK, I made a sand pillow for my camera, but long distance pictures are still fuzzy. What next? Lambo Dear Lambo If the lense of your camera is small, if you run it on automatic setings, it will keep the shutter open longer to allow enough light to come in. Turn the automatic settings off and try to set the picture for dark and romantic. Lightening it later is easy. Have FUN! DearWebby It's forty below zero one winter night in Alaska. Pat is drinking at his local saloon and the bartender says to him, "You owe me quite a bit on your tab." "Sorry," says Pat, "I'm flat broke this week." "That's okay," says the bartender. "I'll just write your name and the amount you owe me right here on the wall." And Pat pleads, "I don't want any of my friends to see that." "They won't," says the bartender. "I'll just hang your parka over it until it's paid." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street! Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? ______________________________________________ Sue gave her hubby a state-of-the-art metal detector. He excitedly took his new toy to the back yard to try it out. When he scattered some change on the ground, it seemed to work fine. Then, even when he wasn't near the coins, the thing kept going off. Over and over, he adjusted and re-adjusted with no luck. After watching him for a while, Sue said, "I think I know what's wrong." "I know what I'm doing!" he snapped back. After 20 minutes, he finally turned to her. "Okay, what's wrong?" Sue said, "You're standing over the buried oil tank." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
In the good old days Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle buzzing around within rifle range of the mountains to get all excited about. We had to settle for men walking on the crummy old moon. In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed, razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an axe, you just had to hope your axe was better than his. In my day you couldn't take basket weaving or acting instead of math. And that was before they invented calculators! If you couldn't calculate the trajectory of an intercontinental missile, well, then you just repeated Grade 6 until you could. In my day, we didn't have school buses. We had to hitch a ride on a dinosaur or walk to school 5 Miles, and it was all uphill. Both ways! ___________________________________________________ | Today, January 17, in 1377 The Papal See was transferred from Avignon in France back to Rome. 1562 French Protestants were recognized under the Edict of St. Germain. 1773 Captain Cook's Resolution became the first ship to cross the Antarctic Circle. 1852 The independence of the Transvaal Boers was recognized by Britain. 1871 Andrew S. Hallidie received a patent for a cable car system. 1882 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Crystal Palace Exhibition in London. 1893 The Kingdom of Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown when a group of businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen Liliuokalani to abdicate. 1900 The U.S. took Wake Island where there was an important cable link between Hawaii and Manila. 1900 Yaqui Indians in Texas proclaimed their independence from Mexico. 1900 Mormon Brigham Roberts was denied a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives for his practicing of polygamy. 1905 Punchboards were patented by a manufacturing firm in Chicago, IL. 1912 English explorer Robert Falcon Scott reached the South Pole. Norwegian Roald Amundsen had beaten him there by one month. Scott and his party died during the return trip. 1913 All partner interests in 36 Golden Rule Stores were consolidated and incorporated in Utah into one company. The new corporation was the J.C. Penney Company. 1928 The fully automatic, film-developing machine was patented by A.M. Josepho. 1934 Ferdinand Porsche submitted a design for a people's car, a "Volkswagen," to the new German Reich government. 1945 Soviet and Polish forces liberated Warsaw after World War II. 1945 Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg disappeared in Hungary while in Soviet custody. Wallenberg was credited with saving tens of thousands of Jews. 1946 The United Nations Security Council held its first meeting. 1959 Senegal and the French Sudan joined to form the Federal State of Mali. 1961 In his farewell address, U.S. President Eisenhower warned against the rise of "the military-industrial complex." 1966 A B-52 carrying four H-bombs collided with a refuelling tanker. The bombs were released and eight crewmembers were killed. 1977 Double murderer Gary Gilmore became the first to be executed in the U.S. in a decade. The firing squad took place at Utah State Prison. 1991 Coalition airstrikes began against Iraq after negotiations failed to get Iraq to retreat from the country of Kuwait. 1992 An IRA bomb, placed next to a remote country road in County Tyrone, Northern Ireland, killed seven building workers and injured seven others. 1994 The Northridge earthquake rocked Los Angeles, CA, registering a 6.7 on the Richter Scale. At least 61 people were killed and about $20 billion in damage was caused. 1995 More than 6,000 people were killed when an earthquake with a magnitude of 7.2 devastated the city of Kobe, Japan. 1997 A court in Ireland granted the first divorce in the Roman Catholic country's history. 1997 Israel gave over 80% of Hebron to Palestinian rule, but held the remainder where several hundred Jewish settlers lived among 20,000 Palestinians. 1998 U.S. President Clinton gave his deposition in the Paula Jones sexual harassment lawsuit against him. He was the first U.S. President to testify as a defendant in a criminal or civil lawsuit. 2000 British pharmaceutical companies Glaxo Wellcome PLC and SmithKline Beecham PLC agreed to a merger that created the world's largest drugmaker. 2001 Congo's President Laurent Kabila was shot and killed during a coup attempt. Congolese officials temporarily placed Kabila's son in charge of the government. 2001 The director of Palestinian TV, Hisham Miki, was killed at a restaurant when three masked gunmen walked up to his table and shot him more than 10 times. 2002 It was announced that Microsoft had signed a joint venture agreement to produce software with two partners in China. The two partners were Beijin Centergate Technologies (Holding) Co. and the Stone Group 2021 Do smiled. |
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