Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, June 23 ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Clearwater woman fatally shoots man who broke into her bedroom while she was on 911 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, June 23, in 2013, In Arizona, aerialist Nik Wallenda completed a quarter mile tightrope walk over the Little Colorado River Gorge. My yellow hat is down at the bottom of that gorge. ___________________________________________________ A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. --- Joey Adams Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms. --- Alan Corenk "Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her." --- Ambrose Bierce's DEVIL'S DICTIONARY ___________________________________________________ Once upon a time, Hercules, Snow White and Quasimodo were talking over a picnic lunch. Hercules says, "You know, everyone says I am the strongest mortal on the earth, but I don't know how to prove it. That really bothers me a lot." Snow White said, "You're right! Everyone says I am the fairest, but how can I be sure?" Quasimodo agrees. "Yeah, and I'm suppose to be the ugliest!" Suddenly Snow White has an idea, "You know guys, I've got the answer. Let's pray about this and ask God to tell us the truth, then meet tomorrow and tell our tales." The next day, they meet at a restaurant in town. Hercules say, "I talked to God, and He says that I am truly the strongest." Snow White says, "So did I, and I am truly the fairest." Quasimodo has his head down, leaning on the table and says, "Who the hell is Nancy Petunia?" ___________________________________________________ Once upon a time, Hercules, Snow White and Quasimodo were talking over a picnic lunch. Hercules says, "You know, everyone says I am the strongest mortal on the earth, but I don't know how to prove it. That really bothers me a lot." Snow White said, "You're right! Everyone says I am the fairest, but how can I be sure?" Quasimodo agrees. "Yeah, and I'm suppose to be the ugliest!" Suddenly Snow White has an idea, "You know guys, I've got the answer. Let's pray about this and ask God to tell us the truth, then meet tomorrow and tell our tales." The next day, they meet at a restaurant in town. Hercules say, "I talked to God, and He says that I am truly the strongest." Snow White says, "So did I, and I am truly the fairest." Quasimodo has his head down, leaning on the table and says, "Who the hell is Nancy Petunia?" ___________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award has been earned by Justin William Wright, 26, Clearwater, Florida Clearwater woman fatally shoots man who broke into her bedroom while she was on 911 Clearwater police say so far, their preliminary investigation points to a case of self-defense after the woman said she woke up to find an intruder in her bedroom. When the man began attacking her, she grabbed her gun and fatally shot him. She told officers the man began to attack her, but she was able to grab a gun and shoot him. Clearwater Police Chief Dan Slaughter said the woman made the 911 call in the middle of the attack, and the dispatcher could hear the struggle before the woman was able to grab her gun. "She was able to use that gun to defend herself, and fired one shot which resulted in the death of that intruder," Slaughter said. The chief told reporters that upon initial investigation, it appears to be a clear case of self-defense, and added that the gun was legally purchased by the victim. The suspect, identified as 26-year-old Justin William Wright, died at the scene. Slaughter said Wright lived next door to the victim. Investigators said the victim suffered injuries consistent with a struggle and the attack she described to officers. Police said it is not yet known how Wright got into the home. She fired just ONE shot, and will not be charged. ___________________________________________________ A Cowboy's Guide to Life... 1. Don't squat with your spurs on. 2. Don't interfere with something that ain't bothering you none. 3. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. 4. Always drink upstream from the herd. 5. Telling a man to git and making him do it are two entirely different propositions. 6. When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person don't be surprised if they learn their lesson. 7. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still back there. 8. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. 9. If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. 10. And never, ever, miss a good opportunity to shut up. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ___________________________________________________ >From Ann When you THINK you have a bad day, remember this one... I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror, wearing nothing but a camera! ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ >From Dean We don't need more gun control. We need idiot control. My other wife is beautiful. WARNING! Driver only carries $20 in ammunition. Do unto others...then bill them for it. I'd rather be over the hill than under it. My truck does not leak. It's just marking its territory! ____________________________________________________ During a dull DNC dinner, Mrs. Biden leaned over to chat with Chuck Schumer. "I bought Joe a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Joe has already taught him to say over two hundred words!" "Very impressive," said Chuck, "but, you do realize he just speaks the words. He doesn't really understand what they all mean." "Oh, I know", replied Mrs. Biden, "but neither does the parrot." ___________________________________________________ DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Sonya Re: How do I stop Full Size? Dear Webby! Please be my hero again! Somehow I, or my puppy dog, flipped my browser to full monitor size, as if I was on a mac and limited to just one program at a time. How do I get back, so that I can grab the edge of a window and shrink it, and also have access to the top bar. I am going nuts trying to regain control. I am using W10, yes very unfortunately. Help! PLEEEEASE! Sonya Dear Sonya Just hit F11 and keep your hands off the keyboard for 7 seconds. It will eventually exit Full Screen mode and give you back control. The delay is just checking if you are using a new enough computer. Just be patient for 7 or 8 seconds after hitting F11, and Full Screen mode will be gone. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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________________________________________________ >From the 70's The Pope was finishing his sermon. He finished with the Latin phrase, "Tuti Hominous" - Blessed be mankind. A women's rights group approached the Pope the next day. They commented that the Pope blessed all mankind, but not womankind. So the next day, after his sermon, the Pope concluded by saying, "Tuti Hominous et tuti Feminous" - Blessed be mankind and womankind. The next day, a gay-rights group approached the Pope. They said that they noticed that he blessed mankind and womankind, and asked if he could also bless 'gay' people. The Pope said, 'Yes.' The next day, he concluded his sermon with "Tuti Homenous et Tuti Feminous et Tuti Fruity." __________________________________________ >From Eddie No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway. Don't marry for money. It's cheaper to borrow. Give in to temptation - It may not come your way again! If I can be of any help... you're in worse shape than I thought. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. _______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
| Today, June 23, in 1683, William Penn signed a friendship treaty with Lenni Lenape Indians in Pennsylvania. 1700, Russia gave up its Black Sea fleet as part of a truce with the Ottoman Empire. 1758, British and Hanoverian armies defeated the French at Krefeld in Germany. 1760, The Austrians defeated the Prussians at Landshut, Germany. 1757, Robert Clive defeated the Indians at Plassey and won control of Bengal. 1836, The U.S. Congress approved the Deposit Act, which contained a provision for turning over surplus federal revenue to the states. 1848, A bloody insurrection of workers in Paris erupted. 1865, Confederate General Stand Watie, who was also a Cherokee chief, surrendered the last sizable Confederate army at Fort Towson, in the Oklahoma Territory. 1868, Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention that he called a "Type-Writer." 1884, A Chinese Army defeated the French at Bacle, Indochina. 1902, Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Italy renewed the Triple Alliance for a 12 year duration. 1904, The first American motorboat race got underway on the Hudson River in New York. 1926, The first lip reading tournament in America was held in Philadelphia, PA. 1931, Wiley Post and Harold Gatty took off from New York on the first round-the-world flight in a single-engine plane. 1934, Italy gained the right to colonize Albania after defeating the country. 1938, The Civil Aeronautics Authority was established. 1947, The U.S. Senate joined the House in overriding President Truman's veto of the Taft-Hartley Act. 1952, The U.S. Air Force bombed power plants on Yalu River, Korea. 1956, Gamal Abdel Nasser was elected president of Egypt. 1964, Henry Cabot Lodge resigned as the U.S. envoy to Vietnam and was succeeded by Maxwell Taylor. 1966, Civil Rights marchers in Mississippi were dispersed by tear gas. 1972, U.S. President Nixon and White House chief of staff H.R. Haldeman discussed a plan to use the CIA to obstruct the FBI's Watergate investigation. 2003, Apple Computer Inc. unveiled the new Power Mac desktop computer. 2004, The U.S. proposed that North Korea agree to a series of nuclear disarmament measures over a three-month period in exchange for economic benefits. 2013, In Arizona, aerialist Nik Wallenda completed a quarter mile tightrope walk over the Little Colorado River Gorge. My yellow hat is down at the bottom of that gorge. 2015, NASA's Mars Odyssey completed its 60,000th orbit around Mars. The spacecraft entered orbit on October 23, 2001. 2015, Verizon announced it had completed its $4.4 billion purchase of AOL, Inc. 2017, In Los Angeles, CA, the Wilshire Grand Center opened. It opened as the tallest building west of the Mississippi at 1,100 feet. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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