Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, February 9 Premier Kenney axed the moronic Vaxport progam! Effective last night. He does not mess around! I guess when they found out that 80% of the fatalities in the hospitals had been vaxed and that they were becoming overwhelmed with vaxed sickos, he saw the light. Thanks Kenney! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 8, in 1971 The Apollo 14 spacecraft returned to Earth after mankind's third landing on the moon. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Aurora, Illinois, Man Charged in Habitual Armed Robbery ___________________________________________________ Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile. --- Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965) ___________________________________________________ A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "Why, it's so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush." ___________________________________________________ A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island, and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?" "Well, that's my house there." "What's that next hut?" asks the sailor. "I built that hut to be my church." "What about the other hut?" "Oh, that's where I used to go to church." ____________________________________________________ Bohemian Waxwing Red Deer, AB ____________________________________________________ >From Brianne On a cruise to Alaska, I saw my very first glacier in the magnificent Inside Passage. Excitedly, I asked the ship's officer what it was called. "It's some dumb glacier," he replied. Disappointed by his attitude, I bought a map to figure it out myself. I spotted our location and found the name of the ice mass. It was called, just as he'd said, "Sumdum Glacier." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Curtis Johnson, 39, Aurora, Illinois, USA Aurora Man Charged in Habitual Armed Robbery An Armed Robbery charge has been filed against a man accused of robbing a gas station on Northbrook Drive in Dwight around 1 a.m. on Tuesday, February 1st. The Dwight Police Department said 39-year-old Curtis Johnson, of Aurora, allegedly entered the business, displayed a handgun and then fled the business with an unknown amount of cash and merchandise. He was arrested by the Channahon Police Department and Elwood Police Department after a traffic stop on Interstate 55 nearly an hour after the incident. During the stop, evidence of the robbery was located within the vehicle. Johnson remains in the Grundy County Jail on a $100,000 bond. According to the Illinois Department of Corrections, Johnson was sentenced to 12 years in prison for Armed Robbery from Cook County in 2004. He was then sentenced to 20 years for Armed Robbery from DuPage County in 2012. Johnson was released from his latest prison term in January of 2021. The Dwight Police Department was also assisted by the Livingston County Sheriff's Department and Grundy County Sheriffs Office. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Mark Re: GoFundme Alternatives Dear Webby As a Canuck I am sure you are more than furious about Gofundme stealing $10 Million from the Truckers Freedom convoy. Do you have a link to reliable fund raisning sites? Thanks Mark Dear Mark Top is GiveSendGo Here are the top 16 alternatives: https://blog.fundly.com/gofundme-alternatives/ Unlike with GoFundme you do NOT have to do any looting, burning, robbing or raping with these 17. You don't even have to be a Communist or Socialist! And the color of your skin or your wife's cat is not relevant either. The Freedom Convoy recommends GiveSendGo The Freedom Convoy is raising Thousands of dollars for fuel, coffee and Donuts PER MINUTE through GiveSendGo. Donate to the Freedom Convoy Have FUN! DearWebby One nun is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants? SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So, the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And?? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run a lot faster than a man with his pants down! (...And, for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's...! ) | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your special Sunday dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a sum-bitch to iron." ______________________________________________ "I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon." "I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied. "It's not a reflection on you, sir," she insisted. "Ralph has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "Why, it's so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush." ___________________________________________________ | Today, February 9, in 1861 The Provisional Congress of the Confederate States of America elected Jefferson Davis as its president. 1870 The United States Weather Bureau was authorized by Congress. The bureau is officially known as the National Weather Service (NWS). 1884 Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny executed a patent application for a chemical recording stock quotation telegraph (U.S. Pat. 314,115). 1885 The first Japanese arrived in Hawaii. 1895 Volley Ball was invented by W.G. Morgan. 1909 The first forestry school was incorporated in Kent, Ohio. 1932 America entered the 2-man bobsled competition for the first time at the Olympic Winter Games held at Lake Placid, NY. 1942 The U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff held its first formal meeting to coordinate military strategy during World War II. 1942 Daylight-saving "War Time" went into effect in the U.S. 1943 During World War II, the battle of Guadalcanal ended with an American victory over Japanese forces. 1950 U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy charged that the State Department was riddled with Communists. This was the beginning of "McCarthyism." 1969 The Boeing 747 flew its inaugural flight. 1971 The Apollo 14 spacecraft returned to Earth after mankind's third landing on the moon. 1975 The Russian Soyuz 17 returned to Earth. 1989 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. completed the $25 billion purchase of RJR Nabisco, Inc. 1997 "The Simpsons" became the longest-running prime-time animated series. "The Flintstones" held the record previously. 2021 Do smiled. |
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