Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, December 10 If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Beer Trouble For "Bud Light Mike" ____________________________________ Today, December 10 in 1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. _____________________________________________________ Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) _____________________________________________________ >From Connie I'm not sure if this is the right addy to use for submitting anything, but this is what a friend told me about the reason the chicken crossed the road... LOL Question: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? Answer: To Get Away From the OLD Rooster Who Discovered Viagra..... -------- Hi Connie Somebody should tell the chicken with the headache that OTHER birds, who don't have a headache, are crossing the road in the other direction. :-) _____________________________________________________ Photographer is in the igloo ___________________________________________________ The mistress of an English manor had just hired a new house maid, an Irish lass, straight out of the country. The first day she was dusting in the Smoking room where the Master of the house sat reading. On the mantel, she saw and dusted a small bowl containing a couple of small round white balls. She, being curious and not bashful, asked, "What are these?" He looked up, saw where she was pointing, and answered, "Golf balls." She said, "OH!", and went on dusting. A few days later, she was dusting again in the same room, where the master was again reading. Again, in the same bowl were small white balls, only now there were four. She said, "I see you shot another Golf." _______________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Filipkowski, 51, Treasure Island, Florda, USA Beer Trouble For "Bud Light Mike" A convicted felon whose alias is listed as Bud Light Mike in police records was arrested Saturday after allegedly stealing a case of Americas favorite beer, court records show. According to Florida police, Michael Filipkowski swiped 24 cans of Bud Light from a Publix supermarket in Treasure Island. Filipkowski, 51, was subsequently arrested after being found in possession of 21 of the purloined cans. Since Flilpkowskis rap sheet includes multiple prior theft convictions, he was charged with a felony theft count. He is locked up in the county jail in lieu of $2000 bond. An arrest affidavit lists the New Jersey natives alias as Bud Light Mike. Court records reveal how Filipkowski earned that handle. In April, he was convicted of stealing a case of Bud Light from a Wawa convenience store in Clearwater. He has twice been convicted of carrying an open container of Bud Light (once on the beach, once at a bus stop). He also has been convicted of stealing two 18-packs of Bud Light from a Speedway store. In 2016, Filipkowski was convicted after he could not pay for a Bud Light (and a shot of Captain Morgan rum) at a hotel bar. Filipkowskis rap sheet also includes convictions for trespass; drunk driving; battery on a law enforcement officer; disorderly conduct; probation violation; resisting arrest; defrauding an innkeeper; witness tampering; auto theft; cocaine possession; aggravated battery; leaving the scene of an accident; careless driving; disorderly intoxication; and violating a protective order. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Barb Re: Gmail Filters Dear Webby, You have been spouting off and pontificating about Gmail as if it had been handed down to Moses on stone tablets. However, you still have not told us how to make filters! How about it? Barb Dear Barb Open Gmail. In the search box at the top, click the Down arrow . Enter your search criteria. If you want to check that your search worked correctly, see what emails show up by clicking Search. At the bottom of the search window, click Create filter. Choose what you'd like the filter to do. Click Create filter. That's all there is to it! One thing to keep in mind, Gmail filters are NOT as versatile as the filters in MailWasher. FOr example, you can not prioritize them. For example if you use Staples as a trigger, and later make a filter with your lover's name, Gmail will have already deleted that mail by the time it gets to the filter with your lovers name. You CAN make "But not, IF" filters, just like in MailWasher, but that is definitely not for beginners. If that becomes an issue, just get MailWasher to pre-clean the mail and let it handle all the tricky filtering. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted." The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I had a bill larger than a $20, I wouldn't be eating here." ____________________________________________ The following ad in The Atlanta Journal is reported to have received numerous calls! SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm very good-looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy. Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever. Men are so easy. ____________________________________________ A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies. The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual." "Why is that?" the mother asked. "We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied. _______________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today December 10 in 1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 1845 British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first pneumatic tires. 1851 American librarian Melvil Dewey was born. He created the "Dewey Decimal Classification" system. 1869 Women were granted the right to vote in the Wyoming Territory. 1898 A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended the Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent of Spain. 1901 The first Nobel prizes were awarded. 1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for helping mediate an end to the Russo-Japanese War. 1931 Jane Addams became a co-recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, she was the first American woman to do so. 1941 Japan invaded the Philippines. 1941 The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and Repulse were sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of Malaya. 1948 The United Nations General Assembly adopted its Universal Declaration on Human Rights. 1950 Dr. Ralph J. Bunche was presented the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the first African-American to receive the award. Bunche was awarded the prize for his efforts in mediation between Israel and neighboring Arab states. 1953 Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine with an investment of $7,600. 1958 The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in the U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami on a National Airlines Boeing 707. 1964 In Oslo, Norway, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. received the Nobel Peace Prize. He was the youngest person to receive the award. 1982 The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118 countries in Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S. were excluded. 1984 South African Bishop Desmond Tutu received the Nobel Peace Prize. 1990 The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant, a long-acting contraceptive implant. 1992 Oregon Senator Bob Packwood apologized for what he called "unwelcome and offensive" actions toward women. However, he refused to resign. 1993 The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the repaired Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit. 1994 Advertising executive Thomas Mosser of North Caldwell, NJ, was killed by a mail bomb that was blamed on the Unabomber. 1994 Yasser Arafat, Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin received the Nobel Peace Prize. They pledged to pursue their mission of healing the Middle East. 1995 The first U.S. Marines arrived in the Bosnian capital of Sarajevo to join NATO soldiers sent to enforce peace in the former Yugoslavia. 1996 South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a new democratic constitution, completing the country's transition from white-minority rule to black rule democracy. 1998 Six astronauts opened the doors to the new international space station 250 miles above the Earth's surface. 1998 The Palestinian leadership scrapped constitutional clauses that rejected Israel's existence. 1999 After three years under suspicion of being a spy for China, computer scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested. He was charged with removing secrets from the Los Alamos weapons lab. Lee later pled guilty to one count of downloading restricted data to tape and was freed. The other 58 counts were dropped. 2003 The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries, opponents of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi reconstruction projects. The ban did not prevent companies from winning subcontracts. 2007 Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first elected female president. 2020 Do smiled. |
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