Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, June 28 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, June 28, in 1960, In Cuba, Fidel Castro confiscated American-owned oil refineries without compensation. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Man Found Hiding In Cow Manure Arrested By Nowata County Deputies __________________________________________________ "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." --- Robert A. Heinlein Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) __________________________________________________ >From Bonnie BTW, DearWebby, that letter to DR LAURA is, according to SNOPES, true. It did happen and makes for an interesting read at SNOPES. Google "Dr Laura Letter" if you wish, or if you haven't already. Maybe.....even post a footnote or PS in your letter to that effect. I wonder how many people just laugh at it & go no further to ascertain (big word) the truth! Be happy, be well. And hang those clothes out if you need rain :) (Or get in the bathtub.) Bonnie in Flat Rock __________________________________________________ In dire need of a beauty make-over, Nancy went to her salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous haired model. She showed the stylist the trendy new cut she wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on her thin, graying hair. Nancy was delighted by his cheerful attitude until she recognized the melody. It was the theme from "Mission Impossible." __________________________________________________ >Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wolf October Berry, 23, NOWATA, Oklahoma, USA Man Found Hiding In Cow Manure Arrested By Nowata County Deputies A Bartlesville man was arrested after leading authorities in Nowata County on a pursuit then hiding for hours in cow manure, the Nowata County Sheriffs Office said. Wolf October Berry, 23, of Bartlesville, was arrested on June 23 for eluding police, running a roadblock, possession of stolen property over $1,000, and possession of firearm in commission of a felony, deputies said. The Nowata County Sheriffs Office attempted to make a traffic stop of Berry in Delaware for not wearing a seatbelt, deputies said. Deputies said Berry drove away and he was pursued west of Delaware on County Road 17 eventually crashing and running away on foot in the southwest section of Nowata County. Stolen property was found in the truck that was stolen from two residential burglaries north of Delaware and the District 2 barn earlier in the week, deputies said. Also found in the truck was a loaded 9MM semi automatic pistol. Berry was arrested later in the day after he had been hiding in cow manure for several hours, deputies said. A Cherokee Nation Tribal Judge set Berrys bond at $25,000. ___________________________________________________ The new ensign was standing his first night watch on the bridge of a destroyer. Far out on the horizon, the USS New Jersey was conducting a night gunnery exercise. The ensign, seeing the flashes of light from the battleship, ran excitedly up to the signal bridge and pointed out, mistakenly, the "Morse code" coming from the other ship. Ensign: "What are they saying? What are they saying?" Signalman: "Boom. Boom." ___________________________________________________ "I'm so worried," the elderly patient said as the nurse plumped up his pillows. "Last week, I read about a man who was in the hospital because of heart trouble, and he died of malaria." "Relax," the nurse said smiling. "This is a first-rate hospital. When we treat someone for heart trouble, he dies of heart trouble." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, please hit paypal with it! ___________________________________________________ At a party, a woman walked up to Calvin Coolidge, 30th U.S. president (1923 to 1929) and said, "My husband bet me I couldn't get three words out of you." Coolidge replied "You lose." ____________________________________________________ TROMSO, N O R W A Y Adelfo Aquino ___________________________________________________ >From Linda THINGS I LEARNED FROM CHILDREN If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42- pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20-foot room. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old. Super glue is forever. McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know. No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jello. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. The fire department has at least a 5-minute response time. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. ___________________________________________________ Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something. "He won't get away with it this time," muttered Robinson to his wife. "Watch this." "Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning," the neighbor began. "Gee, I'm awfully sorry," said Robinson with a smug look, "but the fact of the matter is, I'll be using it all day." "In that case," said the neighbor, "you won't be using your golf clubs, mind if I borrow them?" ____________________________________________________ Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out, "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having SEX." Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know THAT?!" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony, too," the son replied. ___________________________________________________ DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Gmail full panic Dear Webby! I got an email from Gmail urging me to pay $2.79 a month for more space, because I am close to being locked up. They did not give me any alterantive for gaining space. I know YOU know how to do that and once upon a time even mentioned it here. Please tell me again! Frank Dear Frank Some parts of Gmail are great, and I still recommend it. I agree, though, that other parts of Gmail are insanely klutzy. There is no way to "retire" a year unless you create a tricky filter. or do a bulk delete. You can only delete 100 mails at a time. I realize, that is pathetic, but this is the way I do it: Make a couple of HotKeys. On your computer, go to Gmail. At the top right, click Settings Settings and then Settings. At the top, second line, click Keyboard Shortcuts. Next to the action, type the keyboard key to make a new shortcut. At the bottom, click Save Changes. I use "1" for "Select all" and "`" to delete all selected. You can of course use right hand keys, that have not been drafted into HotKey service. Select the number of mails to be shown per page to be 100. Unfortunately, that is the maximum. Then change the sort order to "OLDEST" That shows you the oldest mails not yet deleted. Now use your two hot keys and dump the 100 oldest mails. It is not instant. They do it at the speed of a kid manually deleting them, but after 5 - 10 seconds, 100 mails are gone. Get into the habit of trimming your mail whenever you are on the phone. Just open Gmail and rock those two hot keys. THEN dump the trash and the spam. You are never going to look at them anyway. Whatever is in the trash still counts against you. It is like stuff in a garbage bag at the front door. You have to dump it into the wheelie bin. By the way, the total at the bottom does not update instantly. Sometimes it takes a day or two, but eventually it will reflect your house cleaning. Have FUN! Dear Webby ___________________________________________________ Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. The passenger screamed, "Look at the window. There's an old ghost's face there!" The driver sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window. The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?" The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?" The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it," to the driver, rolling up the window in terror. A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again. The driver said, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry; the speedometer says we're doing 80 now." All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man reappeared. "There he is again," the passenger yelled. He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?" "Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked. The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, "Step on it!" They were doing about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more tapping. "Oh my God! He's back!" The passenger rolled down the window and screamed in stark terror, "WHAT NOW?" The old man gently replied, "You want some help getting out of the mud before the cops get here?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! _____________________________________________________ I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore. _____________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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________________________________________________ >From Linda I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." When my daughter quipped: "Maybe they put the moose in yours instead of mine?" the whole line burst out laughing. _______________________________________________ The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?" _______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
| Today, June 28, in 1635, The French colony of Guadeloupe was established in the Caribbean. 1675, Frederick William of Brandenburg crushed the Swedes. 1709, The Russians defeated the Swedes and Cossacks at the Battle of Poltava. 1776, American Colonists repulsed a British sea attack on Charleston, SC. 1778, Mary "Molly Pitcher" Hays McCauley, wife of an American artilleryman, carried water to the soldiers during the Battle of Monmouth and, supposedly, took her husband's place at his gun after he was overcome with heat. 1869, R. W. Wood was appointed as the first Surgeon General of the U.S. Navy. 1894, The U.S. Congress made Labor Day a U.S. national holiday. 1902, The U.S. Congress passed the Spooner bill, it authorized a canal to be built across the isthmus of Panama. 1911, Samuel J. Battle became the first African-American policeman in New York City. 1914, Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, the heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, was assassinated in Sarajevo along with his wife, Duchess Sophie. That was the start of WWI 1919, The Treaty of Versailles was signed ending World War I exactly five years after it began. The treaty also established the League of Nations. 1921, A coal strike in Great Britain was settled after three months. 1930, More than 1,000 communists were routed during an assault on the British consulate in London. 1939, Pan American Airways began the first transatlantic passenger service. 1938, The U.S. Congress created the Federal Housing Administration (FHA) to insure construction loans. 1942, German troops launched an offensive to seize Soviet oil fields in the Caucasus and the city of Stalingrad. 1945, U.S. General Douglas MacArthur announced the end of Japanese resistance in the Philippines. 1949, The last U.S. combat troops were called home from Korea, leaving only 500 advisers. 1950, North Korean forces captured Seoul, South Korea. 1954, French troops began to pull out of Vietnams Tonkin Province. 1960, In Cuba, Fidel Castro confiscated American-owned oil refineries without compensation. 1964, Malcolm X founded the Organization for Afro American Unity to seek independence for blacks in the Western Hemisphere. 1965, The first commercial satellite began communications service. It was Early Bird (Intelsat I). 1967, Israel formally declared Jerusalem reunified under its sovereignty following its capture of the Arab sector in the June 1967 war. 1971, The U.S. Supreme Court overturned the draft evasion conviction of Muhammad Ali. 1972, U.S. President Nixon announced that no new draftees would be sent to Vietnam. 1976, The first women entered the U.S. Air Force Academy. 1978, The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the medical school at the University of California at Davis to admit Allan Bakke. Bakke, a white man, argued he had been a victim of reverse racial discrimination. 1996, The Citadel voted to admit women, ending a 153-year- old men-only policy at the South Carolina military school. 1997, Mike Tyson was disqualified for biting Evander Holyfield's ear after three rounds of their WBA heavyweight title fight in Las Vegas, NV. 1998, Poland, due to shortage of funds, is allowed to lease, U.S. aircraft to bring military force up to NATO standards. 1998, The Cincinnati Enquirer apologized to Chiquita banana company and retracted their stories that questioned company's business practices. They also agreed to pay more than $10 million to settle legal claims. 2000, The U.S. Supreme Court declared that a Nebraska law that outlawed "partial birth abortions" was unconstitutional. About 30 U.S. states had similar laws at the time of the ruling. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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