Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, June 30 _____________________________________________________ Today, Jun 30 1971 The Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 11 returned to Earth. The three cosmonauts were found dead inside. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Serial rapist strikes again after being released and attacks two more women ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them. --- E. V. Lucas Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned. --- Milton Friedman (1912 - 2006) Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. --- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ You know you're in trouble when you hire private contractors to build your house and they send out a crew like these guys. Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the guys walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned in a minute and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "Alright. How long do you need them?" The guy paused and thought about the question for a minute. "I'd better go check," he said. After awhile, the guy returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house." ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Glen Samson, 40, In jail now London, England Serial rapist strikes again after being released and attacks two more women An 'obsessed sexual predator' was given a second life sentence for carrying out 'horrendous' attacks on two women shortly after his release from the first. Depraved Glen Samson, 40, was jailed back in 2004 for a string of rapes as well as false imprisonment and GBH, serving 12 years before he was eventually released on licence in 2016. But he was soon back to his old ways, quickly targeting two other women who were similarly raped, held against their will and mentally abused in Huddersfield, Liverpool and London. Samson, who forced his victims to undergo the added trauma of having to give evidence during a trial despite declining to do so himself, was convicted of 24 counts of rape, two of controlling and coercive behaviour, making threats to kill and three counts of false imprisonment. Detective Inspector Seth Robinson, who led the investigation, said: 'Samson's conviction, for what can only be described as horrendous crimes, has removed a dangerous and obsessed sexual predator from our streets.' One of Samson's victims came forward last year and the second was identified during the subsequent investigation. 'It was evident that he had planned to commit these offences against the victims and if they had not had the courage to come forward, he would continue to abuse them,' DI Robinson added. 'He is a coward and showed no remorse for what he had done to his victims and the campaign of abuse he inflicted on them. 'The two victims have showed immense bravery throughout the whole criminal process and I hope that the sentencing of this depraved man allows them some closure to their horrific ordeal. 'They have been supported by specially trained officer since they came forward to the police to report the offences.' Samson was ordered to serve at least 14 years behind bars at Bradford Crown Court. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: GMAIL INBOX update Hi Dear Webby, thanks for your quick reply to my question in your 6/29/2019 letter. Head to your Labs settings and enable the "Refresh POP accounts" lab, then hit "Save changes" at the bottom or top of the page. >From then on, you'll see a "Refresh" link to the right of your inbox buttons. Hit it and Gmail will poll any email accounts you've set it up to fetch from. However, I can't find Labs setting under "Settings." Where is it? Thanks. Be well, live long, prosper, and Carpe Diem, Walter Dear Walter Even though "Labs" is still in their HELP, which I had just pasted, without actually testing it. Now that I tried to test it, I found that unfortunately it doesn't work anymore. Apparently the auto-update is now strictly in the browser department, and the mail guys don't know how to arrange that. They are apparently too busy listening to Petunia and Pocahontas. Since the update is a browser function now, you can trick it by clicking to an empty or near empty category like DRAFTS and back to INBOX. That seems to update the INBOX faster than a page refresh. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A young girl of 4 was told she needed an X-ray after an accident. Her mother tried to calm her down, but she was still nervous when the time came for the X-Ray. When she came out of the X-ray room, however, she seemed relaxed and just fine. "They took a picture of m! y bones." she told her mother. "Yes, dear," replied the mother. "Did everything go all right?" "Yeah," said the girl. "It was great! I didn't even have to take my skin off, or anything!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
"How many customers did you serve today?" the manager asked. "One." "Only one." "How much was the sale?" "$58,334.00" Flabbergasted the manager asked him to explain. The boy said, "First I sold the man a fishhook. Then I sold him a rod and a reel. Then I asked him where he was planning to fish, and he replied down the coast. So I suggested he'd need a boat - he bought that six-metre motor boat. When he said his car might not be able to pull it, I took him to the auto department and sold him a big pick-up truck." The amazed boss asked, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fishhook?" "No," the salesman replied. "He actually came in for a bottle of aspirin for his wife's migraine. I told him, your weekend's shot. You are probably safer if you go fishing." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Freeze Pantyhose to Make Them Last First get the pantyhose wet, gently ring them out put them in the freezer overnight. Once frozen, pull them out slowly and hang to them to dry. You can also spray pantyhose lightly with a spray starch to help prevent runs. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Arthur is 90-years-old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day, he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I hit the ball, I can't even see where it goes." His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down, she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try?" "That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help." He may be a hundred and three," says his wife, "but his eyesight is perfect." So, the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law and asks, "Did you see the ball?" "Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight!" "Where did it go?" says Arthur. "I don't remember." ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: A woman asked the dog groomer, "How much to give Fifi a haircut?" "Fifty dollars." "Fifty dollars?! I only pay thirty bucks for my own haircuts." "That may be true. But then you don't bite, do you?" __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?". But the initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus drive?". One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury". But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm". Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast". Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills". Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land". And, following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda... "The Apostles were in one Accord". ___________________________________________________ | Today, June 30 in 1097 The Crusaders defeated the Turks at Dorylaeum. 1841 The Erie Railroad rolled out its first passenger train. 1859 Charles Blondin became the first person to cross Niagara Falls on a tightrope. 1894 Korea declared independence from China and asked for Japanese aid. 1908 A meteor explosion in Siberia knocked down trees in a 40- mile radius and struck people unconscious some 40 miles away. 1912 Belgian workers went on strike to demand universal suffrage. 1913 Fighting broke out between Bulgaria and Greece and Serbia. It was the beginning of the Second Balkan War. 1915 During World War I, the Second Battle Artois ended when the French failed to take Vimy Ridge. 1921 U.S. President Warren G. Harding appointed former President William Howard Taft chief justice of the United States. 1922 Irish rebels in London assassinate Sir Henry Wilson, the British deputy for Northern Ireland. 1930 France pulled its troops out of Germany's Rhineland. 1934 Adolf Hitler purged the Nazi Party by destroying the SA and bringing to power the SS in the "Night of the Long Knives." 1935 Fascists caused an uproar at the League of Nations when Haile Selassie of Ethiopia speaks. 1936 Margaret Mitchell's book, "Gone with the Wind," was published. 1950 U.S. President Harry Truman ordered U.S. troops into Korea and authorizes the draft. 1951 On orders from Washington, General Matthew Ridgeway broadcasts that the United Nations was willing to discuss an armistice with North Korea. 1953 The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet assembly line in Flint, MI. It sold for $3,250. 1955 After 10 years of forbidding germany to arm. the U.S. began funding West Germany's rearmament. 1957 The American occupation headquarters in Japan was dissolved. 1958 The U.S. Congress passed a law authorizing the admission of Alaska as the 49th state in the Union. 1960 The Katanga province seceded from Congo (upon Congo's independence from Belgium). 1964 The last of U.N. troops left Congo after a four-year effort to bring stability to the country. 1971 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the government could not prevent the Washington Post or the New York Times from publishing the Pentagon Papers. 1971 The Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 11 returned to Earth. The three cosmonauts were found dead inside. 1971 The 26th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified when Ohio became the 38th state to approve it. The amendment lowered the minimum voting age to 18. 1974 Russian ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov defected in Toronto, Canada. 1974 The July 4th scene from the Steven Spielberg movie "Jaws" was filmed. 1977 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced his opposition to the B-1 bomber. 1985 Yul Brynner left his role as the King of Siam after 4,600 performances in "The King and I." 1986 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that states could outlaw homosexual acts between consenting adults. 1994 The U.S. Figure Skating Association stripped Tonya Harding of the 1994 national championship and banned her from the organization for life for an attack on rival Nancy Kerrigan. 1998 Officials confirmed that the remains of a Vietnam War serviceman buried in the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National Cemetery were identified as those of Air Force pilot Michael J. Blassie. 2000 U.S. President Clinton signed the E-Signature bill to give the same legal validity to an electronic signature as a signature in pen and ink. 2004 The international Cassini spacecraft entered Saturn's orbit. The craft had been on a nearly seven-year journey. 2019 Do smiled. |
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