Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, December 27 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Delhi man arrested for deadly Christmas Eve stabbing in Merced ____________________________________________________ Today, December 27, in 1831 Charles Darwin set out on a voyage to the Pacific aboard the HMS Beagle. Darwin's discoveries during the voyage helped him form the basis of his theories on evolution. ____________________________________________________ Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) ____________________________________________________ This old guy comes into a pub with a dog, and a cat which he placed on top of the piano. The dog climbed up on the piano seat and began to play the piano while the cat sang a number of popular songs. The drinkers in the pub were amazed and the bartender rewarded the old man with a double scotch and said, "That's a great act. Have you thought of taking them professional?" "They are not as good as you think" confessed the old man. "The cat is tone deaf and can't sing a note. The dog is a ventriloquist." ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A man went on a ski trip, and was knocked unconscious by the chair lift. He called his insurance company from the hospital, but it refused to cover his injury. "Why is the injury not covered?" he asked. "You got hit in the head by a chair lift," the insurance rep said. "That makes you an idiot, and we consider that a pre- existing condition." ------------ Glad somebody is trying to keep insurance rates down! ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Aaron David Barron, 32, Delhi, California, USA Delhi man arrested for deadly Christmas Eve stabbing in Merced A man is behind bars, accused of stabbing and killing a person at a Merced home on Christmas Eve. 32-year-old Aaron David Barron of Delhi is booked into the Merced County Jail, and is facing charges of murder. Police say they found the victim's body at a home on First Avenue, near 26th street, just before 11 on Friday night. The victim's identity has not been released. Merced PD Officers were dispatched to a residence in the 2600 block of 1st Avenue in the city of Merced for a report of a stabbing. Officers responded and found the victim who succumbed to his injuries on scene. The suspect was also on scene and was taken into custody without incident. The victims identity is being withheld pending notification to the next of kin. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Tony Re: Good Mews & Granp Dear Webby I got a message from a long forgotten acquaintance asking if I had gotten the good mews (I mis-spelled that on purpose, since you probably still have a filter against that), about a granP (I also mis spelled that on perpose). Is that still the same old scam? Tony Dear Tony Nothing wrong with YOUR memory! Brandon should take lessons from you! Yes still the same old 419 scam. 419 is a law against scams, that ask you to send money first before some Nigerian prince or some other crook sends you huge amounts of money. Go ahead and make a filter. If a mail contains both "Goog News" and "Granp", then dump it from the server, automatically, without even listing it. Have FUN! DearWebby Sue noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she quipped, "I don't think that is going to help much, hon." "Sure it does," he said. "How else can I can see the numbers?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A distinguished clergyman and a friend are playing golf. It is a very close match, and at the last hole the two are only one stroke apart. The clergyman tees up, addresses the ball, swings his driver with great force -- and slices the ball deep into the woods. The clergyman glares and bites his lip. His face turns crimson, but he says nothing. His opponent looks at him for a moment and then remarks, "Reverend, that is the most profane silence I have ever heard." ______________________________________________ After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking helped. His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it, then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Daddy!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?" "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue. "Do you have laryngitis?" the man asked sympathetically. "Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry." ___________________________________________________ | Today, December 27, in 1703 The Methuen Treaty was signed between Portugal and England, giving preference to the import of Portuguese wines into England. 1831 Charles Darwin set out on a voyage to the Pacific aboard the HMS Beagle. Darwin's discoveries during the voyage helped him form the basis of his theories on evolution. 1845 Dr. Crawford Williamson Long used anesthesia for childbirth for the first time. The event was the delivery of his own child in Jefferson, GA. 1900 Carrie Nation staged her first raid on a saloon at the Carey Hotel in Wichita, KS. She broke each and every one of the liquor bottles that could be seen. 1904 James Barrie's play "Peter Pan" premiered in London. 1927 Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party. 1938 The first skimobile course in America opened in North Conway, NH. 1945 The World Bank was created with an agreement signed by 28 nations. 1947 The children's television program "Howdy Doody," hosted by Bob Smith, made its debut on NBC. 1949 Queen Juliana of the Netherlands granted sovereignty to Indonesia after more than 300 years of Dutch rule. 1951 In Cincinnati, OH, a Crosley automobile, with a steering wheel on the right side, became the first vehicle of its kind to be placed in service for mail delivery. 1965 The BP oil rig Sea Gem capsized in the North Sea, with the loss of 13 lives. 1971 Snoopy, Charlie Brown, Linus, Lucy and Woodstock of Charles Schulz� "Peanuts" comic strip were on the cover of "Newsweek" magazine. 1978 Spain adopted a new constitution and became a democracy after 40 years of dictatorship. 1979 Soviet forces seized control of Afghanistan. Babrak Karmal succeeded President Hafizullah Amin, who was overthrown and executed. 1985 Palestinian guerrillas opened fire inside the Rome and Vienna airports. A total of twenty people were killed, including five of the attackers, who were slain by police and security personnel. 1985 Dian Fossey, an American naturalist, was found murdered at a research station in Rawanda. 1992 The U.S. shot down an Iraqi fighter jet during what the Pentagon described as a confrontation between a pair of Iraqi warplanes and U.S. F-16 jets in U.N.-restricted airspace over southern Iraq. 1996 Muslim fundamentalist Taliban forces retook the strategic air base of Bagram, solidifying their buffer zone around Kabul, the Afghanistan capital. 1997 In Northern Ireland, Billy Wright was assassinated. He was imprisoned as a Protestant paramilitary leader. 2000 Mario Lemeiux (Pittsburgh Penguins) returned to the National Hockey League (NHL) as a player after over 3 years of retirement. He was the first owner-player in the modern era of pro sports. Lemieux had purchased the Pittsburgh Penguins during his retirement from playing. 2001 U.S. President George W. Bush granted China permanent normal trade status with the United States. 2002 North Korea ordered U.N. nuclear inspectors to leave the country and said that it would restart a laboratory capable of producing plutonium for nuclear weapons. 2002 Clonaid announced the birth of the first cloned human baby. The baby had been born December 26. 2002 In Chechnya, at least 40 people were killed when suicide bombers attacked the administartion of Grozny 2021 Do smiled. |
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