Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, June 13 _____________________________________________________ Today, June 13 in 1940 Paris was evacuated before the German advance on the city. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Ex-Con Wearing "COKE" Shirt Arrested For Selling Crack Cocaine to cop ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit. --- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Rabbi Mendel was one day walking along a very narrow street, when he came face to face with a rival Rabbi. The street was too narrow for the two to pass. The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily: . . . "I never make way for fools " Smiling, Rabbi Mendel stepped aside and said, . . ."I always do." ______________________________________________________` Redneck speedboat _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Terry Leon Simmons, 53, Fort Pierce, Florida Ex-Con Wearing "COKE" Shirt Arrested For Selling Crack Cocaine to cop A career criminal with multiple narcotics convictions on his rap sheet was wearing a shirt with red lettering on the front that said 'COKE' when he sold four crack cocaine rocks to a Florida undercover agent, according to an arrest affidavit. Terry Leon Simmons, 53, was arrested Friday afternoon at his home in Fort Pierce on a felony cocaine sales charge. He was also hit with a second felony count after arresting officers spotted a marijuana joint and a bag of MDMA in plain view inside the residence. Cops charge that Simmons sold crack cocaine to a driver who pulled up outside of a convenience store a couple of blocks from the ex-con's apartment. At the time of the $40 transaction, Simmons was wearing a two toned blue shirt with red lettering on the front that said 'COKE' on the front. The affidavit does not indicate whether the lettering was in the style of the popular soft drink. Seen above, Simmons is being held in the St. Lucie County jail in lieu of $55,000 bond. According to court and prison records, Simmons has repeatedly been convicted of possessing, purchasing, and selling cocaine. Since 1991, Simmons has spent a total of nearly 17 years in Florida prisons (in addition to significant time spent in county jails). He was most recently released from the state system in February, after spending more than three years in custody for cocaine possession and tampering with evidence. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Nita Re: Google "suggestions" Dear Webby Thank you for all your excellent computer advice daily. What search engine do you use? I have used Google for years but do not like their list of filled in names when I go to type in a subject. Google just starting doing this & you cannot delete their lists. If you accidentally click on one of their subject you get spam from that outfit. Thanks again for all you help. Nita Dear Nita 1. Click the Settings button on your Toolbar. 2. Select Options from the drop-down menu. 3. Click the Search Box Settings button. 4. Deselect the 'Suggest popular searches' checkbox. 5. Click the OK button. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now. As usual, his model reported, and after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress for the day's work. He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He added that he would pay her for the day, but that she could just go home; he just wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed. The model said, "Oh, please, let me fix it for you. It's the least I can do." He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup too. They were sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk and enjoying their tea, when he heard the front door open and close, then some familiar footsteps. "Oh darn!!!" he whispered loudly, "It's my wife! Quick!!! Take all your clothes off." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Helping me sort clothes into "save" and "give away" piles, my six-year-old daughter came across a garter belt. "What's this?" she asked. "It's a garter belt," I said. Seeing that meant nothing to her, I added, "It's for holding up stockings." "Ah," she said, carefully placing it in the "save" pile, "we'll use it next Christmas Eve." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Kitchen Time Saver - Quick Stir Fry You can reduce the time it takes to stir fry slow cooking vegetable like carrots and broccoli by blanching them. You can also reduce the cooking time by cutting them thinly. Just be sure to cut all your veggies and as uniformly as possibly so they cook evenly. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! |
___________________________________________________ Eight-year-old Susie came home from school and informed her mother that today in class they had learned how to make babies. The mother, rather shaken by the development, called the teacher to complain. After listening to the mother complain for a few minutes, the teacher responded, "Did you ask her to explain how it is done?" "No," said the mother. "Then ask her and call me back," replied the teacher. "So how DO you make babies?" the mother asked her daughter. Susie responded, "You drop the 'y' and add 'ies.'" ___________________________________________________ This week in Texas, a fire broke out in a warehouse destroying 2,000 pounds of marijuana. Officials say more than 260 firefighters and 5,000 college students responded to the blaze. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked. "We're a military family," the wife answered. "Children?" "Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly. "Animals?" "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved." ___________________________________________________ | Today, June 13 in 1415 Henry the Navigator, the prince of Portugal, embarked on an expedition to Africa. 1777 The Marquis de Lafayette arrived in the American colonies to help with their rebellion against the British. 1789 Ice cream was served to General George Washington by Mrs. Alexander Hamilton. 1825 Walter Hunt patented the safety pin. Hunt then then sold the rights for $400. 1866 The 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed by the U.S. Congress. It was ratified on July 9, 1868. The amendment was designed to grant citizenship to and protect the civil liberties of recently freed slaves. It did this by prohibiting states from denying or abridging the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States, depriving any person of his life, liberty, or property without due process of law, or denying to any person within their jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws. 1898 The Canadian Yukon Territory was organized. 1900 China's Boxer Rebellion against foreigners and Chinese Christians erupted into violence. 1912 Captain Albert Berry made the first successful parachute jump from an airplane in Jefferson, Mississippi. 1920 The U.S. Post Office Department ruled that children may not be sent by parcel post. 1922 Charlie Osborne started the longest attack on hiccups. He hiccuped over 435 million times before stopping. He died in 1991, 11 months after his hiccups ended. 1923 The French set a trade barrier between the occupied Ruhr and the rest of Germany. That did not go over well. 1927 Charles Lindbergh was honored with a ticker-tape parade in New York City. 1927 For the first time, an American Flag was displayed from the right hand of the Statue of Liberty. 1940 Paris was evacuated before the German advance on the city. 1943 German spies landed on Long Island, New York. They were soon captured. 1944 Germany launched 10 of its new V1 rockets against Britain from a position near the Channel coast. Of the 10 rockets only 5 landed in Britain and only one managed to kill (6 people in London). 1944 Marvin Camras patented the wire recorder. 1949 Bao Dai entered Saigon to rule Vietnam. He had been installed by the French. 1951 U.N. troops seized Pyongyang, North Korea. 1966 The landmark "Miranda v. Arizona" decision was issued by the U.S. Supreme Court. The decision ruled that criminal suspects had to be informed of their constitutional rights before being questioned by police. 1967 Solicitor General Thurgood Marshall was nominated by President Lyndon B. Johnson to become the first black justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. 1971 The New York Times began publishing the "Pentagon Papers". The articles were a secret study of America's involvement in Vietnam. 1978 Israelis withdrew the last of their invading forces from Lebanon. 1979 Sioux Indians were awarded $105 million in compensation for the U.S. seizure in 1877 of their Black Hills in South Dakota. 1983 The unmanned U.S. space probe Pioneer 10 became the first spacecraft to leave the solar system. It was launched in March 1972. The first up-close images of the planet Jupiter were provided by Pioneer 10. 1988 The Liggett Group, a cigarette manufacturer, was found liable for a lung-cancer death. They were, however, found innocent by the federal jury of misrepresenting the risks of smoking. 1992 Future U.S. President Bill Clinton criticized rap singer Sister Souljah for making remarks "filled with hatred" towards whites. 1994 A jury in Anchorage, Alaska, found Exxon Corp. and Captain Joseph Hazelwood to be reckless in the Exxon Valdez oil spill. 1995 France announced that they would conduct eight more nuclear tests in the South Pacific. 2000 In Pyongyang, North Korea's leader Kim Jong Il welcomed South Korea's President Kim Dae for a three-day summit. It was the first such meeting between the leaders of North and South Korea. 2019 Do smiled. |
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