Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, August 13 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Man arrested for trying to strangle woman in Kentucky cemetery Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, Aug 13 in 1521 Present day Mexico City was captured by Spanish conqueror Hernando Cortez from the Aztec Indians. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ This is the challenge of writing. You have to be very emotionally engaged in what you're doing, or it comes out flat. You can't fake your way through this. --- Gordon Atkinson "...that whoever is not a liberal when young has no heart, whoever is not a conservative when middle-aged has no head, and whoever is still either a liberal or a conservative at age seventy-eight has no sense of humor." --- Herbert Stein ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Man: "My wife has the worst memory I ever heard of." Friend: "Forgets everything, eh?" Man: "No, remembers everything." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Rhonda for this story: Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady reappears, wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse." "But Father, I have a divine right," she informs. "Yes, I see. And your left one isn't bad either, but you still must wear a blouse to enter this church." ______________________________________________________ Night over West Quoddy, Lubec, Maine West Quoddy Head Light sits on the easternmost point of the contiguous United States. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brice Gross, 19, Georgetown, Kentucky Man arrested for trying to strangle woman in Kentucky cemetery Georgetown Police arrested a man they say tried to strangle a woman in a cemetery, with the intent to kill her. Police say Brice Gross, 19, snuck up behind a woman on Saturday evening in the Georgetown Cemetery. Police say he attacked the woman and began to try to strangle her. The woman was able to fight him off, and Gross ran away, police said. Officers located Gross shortly after and arrested him. According to his arrest citation, Gross told police that he was going to strangle the woman until she was unconscious, then put her body in her own vehicle. He then told police he was going to place a rock on the car's gas pedal and send it into a body of water. In an interview from jail, Gross told WKYT's Garrett Wymer that he was at the cemetery visiting his uncle's grave, when he blacked out and went into another personality. "I vaguely remember getting her to the ground and then running," Gross said. "That's just about it. I don't remember anything else." Gross said he has several hundred personalities that he deals with - though he says nothing violent like this has happened before. He said he thinks visiting his uncle's grave brought to the surface a lot of emotions that he says likely triggered the personality change on Saturday. He says he knows he needs medical help. Gross is now charged with attempted murder and kidnapping. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Hijacked Dear Webby, It looks like I've been high jacked by .hemailaccessonline.com/. Whenever I open a new tab in Firefox, the address automatically goes to .hemailaccessonline.com/. I checked on the internet and evidently this is not a virus, but it will redirect your browser to sites of their choice that may be malicious. The only repair that I could find were pay programs. I am sure you will have a better solution, as always. Thanks in advance. Bill Dear Bill That is just a Browser Hijacker. Search.hemailaccessonline.com is a browser hijacker that is bundled with other free software that you download off of the Internet. When installed this browser hijacker it will set the homepage and search engine for your web browser to https://search.hemailaccessonline.com. Malwarebytes will get rid of it. Pretty well all valid info I could find, mention MalwareBytes in the first or second step. When done, reset your home page and search engine. The cleaners just get rid of hemailaccessonline.com, they don`t know what you had in there before that hijacker deleted it. Btw., what did you download that had that hijacker as payload? Have FUN! DearWebby >From Irene: During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because he was due to leave the service in two months. As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking the blood wouldn't hurt much. Then, noticing my Air Force T-shirt he asked me what my husband did. When I replied that he was a recruiter, the technician smiled slyly and said, "This might hurt a little more than I thought." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Refrigerator Pops Recipes By Darlene [52 Posts, 14 Comments] With summer almost here, I found some really good but healthy refrigerator pops for the kids. It took a while to dig them out but I did and thought I would share them with you! I hope your kids enjoy them. In fact, they really are good for adults as we have to watch those calories that are not there one day but somehow those shorts you just wore refuse to fit. So here goes, they are considered to be healthy snacking which is hard in the summer to find with all the wonderful looking desserts and fancy ice cream cones. It is hard to find good snacks but here are some. Good Luck and enjoy! Strawberry-Banana Cream Pops Ingredients: 2 (8 oz.) cartons of strawberry yogurt 1 cup sliced fresh strawberries 1 ripe banana 1 Tbsp. honey 8 (3 oz.) cold drink cups 8 wooden sticks Directions: In your blender or food processor bowl with metal blade, combine yogurt, strawberries, banana and honey; blend till smooth. Fill each cup with about 1/3 cup yogurt mixture. Place cups in freezer until partially frozen, (about 1 hour). Insert sticks, freeze until firm (about 2 hours). Remove drink cups and serve. MMMM, now I want one! I am not trying to be funny but I am thinking summer and having one of these! Pineapple Orange Pops Ingredients: 8 oz. carton plain yogurt 8 oz. can crushed pineapple, undrained 6 oz. can frozen pineapple-orange juice concentrate, thawed 8 (3 oz.) cold drink cups 8 wooden sticks Directions: In blender or food processor in bowl with metal blade, combine yogurt, pineapple and pineapple-orange juice concentrate, blend until smooth. Fill each cup with about 1/3 cup pineapple mixture. Place cups in freezer until partially frozen, (about 1 hr). Insert sticks then freeze till firm, about 2 hours. Remove cups and serve. Icy Watermelon Pops Cut watermelon into slices about 1 1/4 inches thick. Cut each slice into pie shaped wedges of desired size. Using a sharp knife, pierce rind, insert wooden stick. Place on waxed paper lined pan or tray, freeze till firm. Wrap individually in foil or plastic wrap. Store in freezer. ____________________________________________________ | | Weird things caught on camera |
____________________________________________________ That reminds me of this one: After a day of grueling maneuvers in the muddy swamp under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks, exhausted, muddy from top to bottom, sweaty and smelly. "All right, ladies, think about this," bellowed the drill instructor. "If you could have ten minutes alone, right now, with anyone in the world, who would it be?" Amid much mumbling, one voice was heard from the back row. "My recruiter." ___________________________________________________ | | I don't know if this artist saw this unique woodworking in visions or bad dreams. |
___________________________________________________ Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher, "They say I died!!!" "Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from???" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ >From Dianne I asked the Lord to tell me Why my house is such a mess. He asked if I'd been 'putering', And I had to answer "yes." He told me to get off my butt And tidy up the house. And so I started cleaning up... The smudges off my mouse. I wiped and shined the topside. That really did the trick... I was just admiring my work... I didn't mean to 'click.' But click, I did, and oops I found A real absorbing site That I got SO way into... I was into it all night.> Nothing's changed except my mouse It's very, very shiny. I guess my house will stay a mess... While I sit here on my hiney. ____________________________________________________ | Today, August 13, in 1521 Present day Mexico City was captured by Spanish conqueror Hernando Cortez from the Aztec Indians. 1704 The Battle of Blenheim was fought during the War of the Spanish Succession, resulting in a victory for English and Austrian forces. 1792 French revolutionaries took the entire French royal family and imprisoned them. 1867 "Under the Gaslight", by Augustin Daly, opened in New York City, NY. 1876 The Reciprocity Treaty between the U.S. and Hawaii was ratified. 1889 A patent for a coin-operated telephone was issued to William Gray. 1912 The first experimental radio license was issued to St. Joseph's College in Philadelphia, PA. 1931 The first community hospital in the U.S. was dedicated in Elk City, OK. 1932 Adolf Hitler refused to take the post of vice-chancellor of Germany. He said he was going to hold out "for all or nothing." 1934 Al Capp's comic strip "L'il Abner" made its debut in newspapers. 1942 Henry Ford unveiled his "Soybean Car." It was a plastic- bodied car that weighed about 1000 lbs. less than a steel car. The media did not like it and very few were sold. 1959 In New York, ground was broken on the $320 million Verrazano Narrows Bridge. 1960 "Echo I," a balloon satellite, allowed the first two-way telephone conversation by satellite to take place. 1961 Berlin was divided by a barbed wire fence to halt the flight of refugees. Two days later work on the Berlin Wall began. 1985 The engagement of Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenagger was announced. 1990 Iraq transferred $3-4 billion in bullion, currency, and other goods seized from Kuwait to Baghdad. 1994 It was reported that aspirin not only helps reduce the risk of heart disease, but also helps prevent colon cancer. 2017 Do smiled. |
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