Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, Oct 2 __________________________________________________ Q Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award GREENACRES MAN ARRESTED FOR MURDERINGG AN ACREAGE FAMILYS DOG __________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ History On This Day, Oct 2, in 2001, NATO, for the first time, invoked a treaty clause that stated that an attack on one member is an attack on all members. The act was in response to the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks in the United States. ____________________________________________________ "I'm so worried," the elderly patient said as the nurse plumped up his pillows. "Last week, I read about a man who was in the hospital because of heart trouble, and he died of malaria." "Relax," the nurse said smiling. "This is a first-rate hospital. When we treat someone for heart trouble, he dies of heart trouble." __________________________________________________________ At a party, a woman walked up to Calvin Coolidge, 30th U.S. president (1923 to 1929) and said, "My husband bet me I couldn't get three words out of you." Coolidge replied "You lose." __________________________________________________ Del Roth Blue Jays in the sunflowes. Sept 30 2023 Lac Ste Anne County, AB __________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something. "He won't get away with it this time," muttered Robinson to his wife. "Watch this." "Er, I wonder if you'd be using your power-saw this morning," the neighbor began. "Gee, I'm awfully sorry," said Robinson with a smug look, "but the fact of the matter is, I'll be using it all day." "In that case," said the neighbor, "you won't be using your golf clubs, mind if I borrow them?" ___________________________________________________ Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out, "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having SEX." Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know THAT?!" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony, too," the son replied. __________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. The passenger screamed, "Look at the window. There's an old ghost's face there!" The driver sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window. The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?" The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?" The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it," to the driver, rolling up the window in terror. A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again. The driver said, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry; the speedometer says we're doing 80 now." All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man reappeared. "There he is again," the passenger yelled. He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?" "Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked. The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, "Step on it!" They were doing about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more tapping. "Oh my God! He's back!" The passenger rolled down the window and screamed in stark terror, "WHAT NOW?" The old man gently replied, "You want some help getting out of the mud before the cops get here?" _____________________________________________________ Dearwebby's Tech Support Pits From: Trevor Re: Hotkeys Dear Webby, Love your daily emails, chuckles and wisdom. Today the topic was "Reduce amount of mail stored in Gmail" Part of the instruction was "Set up hotkeys." As an electronically and chronologically disadvantaged senior, I am unfamiliar with "hotkeys" could you please explain? Thanks, Trevor Dear Trevor A hot key is a key combination, that calls a program sequence. You are probably familiar with "CTRL S" to save a document or picture. In Gmail you can set up additional hot keys. On your keyboard's top row, not the one with ESC, on the left side you see ` 1 Those are not used yet in Gmail, so you can use them and assign new duties to them. You can pull down different duties, when you go into the settings. On your computer, go to Gmail. At the top right, click Settings Settings and then Settings. At the top, second line, click Keyboard Shortcuts. Next to the action, type the keyboard key to make a new shortcut. Type 1 and pull down "SELECT ALL" Easy! Then type ` and pull down DELETE SELECTED. Now you know how to set up Hot Keys. Some are already selected. Those you can use as they are, or if they are for a function, that you never use, then you can re-assign them to do something else. I have no idea which ones are original, because since 2004 I have set up many hot keys myself. Just go in there and goof around. Have Fun! Dearwebby ________________________________________________ I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore. ___________________________________________________ If You Can Spare A Coin, Please Hit Paypal With It! ___________________________________________________ >From Linda I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." When my daughter quipped: "Maybe they put the moose in yours instead of mine?" the whole line burst out laughing. ____________________________________________ A Bonehead Award Has Been Reported By Rock Delmin Echeverria, 43, Greenacres, Florida, USA GREENACRES MAN ARRESTED FOR MURDERINGG AN ACREAGE FAMILYS DOG 43-year-old Delmin Echeverria of Greenacres was arrested for killing an Acreage familys dog. PBSO detectives investigated the death of a familys dog, a 3 and a half year old Pit Bull named Luna, who was murdered on Friday, September 22nd, 2023, in unincorporated Royal Palm Beach. Detectives say that the dog died from an apparent puncture under her jaw. They believe the dog was enticed to come to the fence where it was then stabbed. Investigators say that the fence was also cut and they believe Echeverria may have pulled Luna through the fence. Investigators say that Luna ran between the neighbors yard and the dog owners yard on the 13500 block of 41st Lane N. in The Acreage before she eventually died. The owner of the property immediately told detectives that he knew who committed the crime. The victim says that 43-year-old Delmin Echeverria is responsible. The victim claims that Echeverria called him after the incident, from an private phone number, and said that he killed his dog. The victim said he recognized Delmins voice because has been harassing, and threatening, his family for some time. The victim says the threats started because the victims father is married to Echeverrias ex-wife. In the call that the victim received just before finding his dog was killed, Echeverria told the victim that his dad needs to return his wife to him or he was going to kill him and his family. He then told him that he killed his dog. The victim immediately went home to find that his dog has been killed. Detectives arrested Delmin Echeverria and charged him with the following: 810.02(12b) Burglary To A Dwelling While Armed 828.12(22a) Cruelty To Animals 806.13(1ab2) Criminal Mischief _____________________________________________________ A philosophy professor, widely noted as being more than casually eccentric, gave a one question final exam after an entire semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was seated and ready, when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One student, however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how this person could have received the highest grade when he had barely written anything. They found his answer consisted of two words: "What chair?" __________________________________________________ Please note that a 3-year-old teacher is needed for pre- school. Experience preferred. There have been some complaints about children running in the corridor between the education annex and the sanctuary. Parents are asked to remind their children to be on their pest behavior. Everyone is excited about the upcoming wedding of Brad and Melody. They are having a "country style" wedding. Everyone is invited to join them as they exchange cows in the church courtyard June 17th. I want to remind the choir and all sinners to be at the park by 4:30 p.m. for warm up and sound checks. The Seniors group will have a picnic Saturday. Each person is asked to bring a friend, a vegetable, or dessert in a covered dish. Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people. Remember the youth department rummage sale for Summer Camp. We have a Gents three-speed bicycle, also two ladies for sale, in good running order. We are especially thankful that when Sister Dora was At Death's Door, The Lord and her Doctors Pulled her through. _________________________________________________ History On Oct 2, In 1492, King Henry VII of England invaded France. 1780, British army major John Andre was hanged as a spy. He was carrying information about the actions of Benedict Arnold. 1835, The first battle of the Texas Revolution took place near the Guadalupe River when American settlers defeated a Mexican cavalry unit. 1836, Charles Darwin returned to England after 5 years of acquiring knowledge around the world about fauna, flora, wildlife and geology. He used the information to develop his "theory of evolution" which he unveiled in his 1859 book entitled The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection. 1870, Rome was made the capital of Italy. 1876, The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas opened. It was the state's first venture into public higher education. The school was formally dedicated 2 days later by Texas Gov. Richard Coke. 1889, The first international Conference of American States began in Washington, DC. 1919, U.S. President Woodrow Wilson suffered a stroke that left him partially paralyzed. 1924, The Geneva Protocol adopted the League of Nations. 1925, Scottish inventor John Logie Baird completed the first transmission of moving images. 1937, Warner Bros. released "Love Is on the Air." Ronald Reagan made his acting debut in the motion picture. He was 26 years old. 1941, Operation Typhoon was launched by Nazi Germany. The plan was an all-out offensive against Moscow. 1944, The Nazis crushed the Warsaw Uprising. 1947, The Federatino Internationale de l'Automobile (FIA) formally established Formula One racing in Grand Prix competition. 1948, The first automobile race to use asphalt, cement and dirt roads took place in Watkins Glen in New York. It was the first road race in the U.S. following World War II. 1950, "Peanuts," the comic strip created by Charles M. Schulz, was published for the first time in seven newspapers. 1953, "Person to Person" debuted on CBS-TV. 1955, "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" debuted on CBS-TV. 1958, Guinea, the French colony in West Africa, proclaimed its independence. Sekou Toure was the first president of the Republic of Guinea. 1959, "The Twilight Zone" debuted on CBS-TV. The show ran for 5 years for a total of 154 episodes. 1962, U.S. ports were closed to nations that allowed their ships to carry arms to Cuba, ships that had docked in a socialist country were prohibited from docking in the United States during that voyage, and the transport of U.S. goods was banned on ships owned by companies that traded with Cuba. 1967, Thurgood Marshall was sworn in. He was the first African-American member of the U.S. Supreme Court. 1988, Pakistan's Supreme Court ordered free elections. 1989, In Leipzig, East Germany a protest took place demanding the legalization of opposition groups and the adoption of democratic reforms. 1990, The Allies ceded their rights to areas they occupied in Germany. 1993, Opponents of Russian President Boris Yeltsin fought police and set up burning barricades. 1998, Hawaii sued petroleum companies, claiming state drivers were overcharged by about $73 million a year in price-fixing. 1998, About 10,000 Turkish soldiers crossed into northern Iraq and attacked Kurdish rebels. 2001, The U.S. Postmaster unveiled the "Tribute to America" stamp. The stamp was planned for release the next month. 2001, NATO, for the first time, invoked a treaty clause that stated that an attack on one member is an attack on all members. The act was in response to the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks in the United States. 2015, The reorganization of Google into Alphabet Inc. was completed. Alphabet became the parent company of Google and several other companies previously owned by Google. 2023, Do! Smiled. Have Fun Dearwebby
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