Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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 Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, April 2 Have FUN! DearWebby 
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Alabama teacher couple, both arrested for sex with students Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 2, in 1801 During the Napoleonic Wars, the Danish fleet was destroyed by the British at the Battle of Copenhagen. The Danes were pro-democracy and Britain was against it. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad. --- Bob Edwards _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Roland Sally was puzzled recently by the odd messages she kept getting on her voice mail. Day after day, all she'd hear, from friends, family, and customers alike, would be their message and then they'd ALL say, "BEEP." We were talking about something else at the moment but I had her check her voice mail message anyway to see if there was a clue. She discovered the solution to the BEEP riddle when she dialed her own phone number. Her message said, "I'm not available right now, so please leave a beep after the message." ______________________________________________________ These two ol' boys from Beaumont bought a new mule, but had trouble getting him in their barn. Every time they would get him to the door, his ears would brush the top of the doorway and he'd start kicking and go wild. Finally, they decide the best way to solve the problem is to jack up the barn. So, they go out and get a half dozen jacks. The two Texians are scrambling from jack to jack to try to get the barn raised when this Cajun walks up. "Wot chall doin?" Boudreaux asks. "We's raisin thuh barn, yuh stoopid Cajun," Billy Bob says. "Why you do dat?" "Cause thuh mule's ears keep touchin' thuh doorway when we try to put him in iss-here barn and he goes haf-crazy wild," Billy Bob says. "He kicked Ernest Wayne plumb in thuh haid twicet already." "Why come you don' just dig a four inch lower in de doorway? Dat way him got to go down when he get to de do' an him ear don't touch nutin." "Ya stoopid Cajun," Ernest Wayne chimes in. "It's his ears at's too long, not his laigs!" ______________________________________________________ Amazonian Royal Flycatcher from FB Visit The world of birds ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jamie Franklin Parker Charli Parker Alabama Alabama teacher couple, both arrested for sex with students Jamie Franklin Parker and his wife Charli seem like any young private school teachers at Pickens Academy. Both Jamie and Charli coached the Alabama schools sports teams and served as teachers, sculpting their young minds and pushing them towards a bright future. Like millions of others, they fell in love in college and got married in 2010. Not long after that they brought a baby boy into the world. But there was something much darker that this cheerful couple was hiding from their peers. The students and faculty at Pickens Academy were in for a shock when the two were arrested, just two days apart, for an all-too-common crime these days. According to AL.com, Charli was arrested Monday on the charges of engaging in a sex act with a student under the age of 19. Just two days later, Jamie would be arrested for the same crime. Charli had sex with a male student, while Jamies relationship was with a female who used to attend the school. While these instances are similar, the couples crimes were not related. According to WVTM all of the acts took place away from school grounds. Due to the crimes status as a Class B Felony, both teachers could potentially serve a prison sentence of two to 20 years. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Doug Re: How does BMP fit in the world of GIF, JPG. PNG, PSP, PSD Dear Webby How does BMP fit in the world of GIF, JPG. PNG, PSP, PSD? Doug Dear Doug BMP, the old Microsoft DOS Bit-Map-Picture format is still used a bit for desktop backgrounds and start-up logo screens, and icons. You can paint icons 64 x 64 or 32 x 32, save them as a .BMP file, close the file, and rename it to a .ico file, and it will be a regular icon that you can assign to any program or shortcut. Other than that and start-up logos, .BMP is not used anymore now. Web browsers can read GIF and JPG and PNG. That's it. PNG, PSP and PSD are used for work in progress, which is then saved as JPG before uploading to a web site. PNG is also used for archiving, because it does not degrade pictures like JPG does. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A State Police Officer exited the freeway near one of those chicken restaurants and noticed that a customer had left a bucket of chicken on top of his car and was driving out of the parking lot. The officer decided to pull him over and perform a community service by giving the driver his chicken. So, he pulled him over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket off the roof and offered it to the driver. The driver said, "No thanks, I just bought some." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Stain Wood With Shoe Polish If you have small pieces of unfinished wood that you would like stained, use liquid shoe polish. The applicator on the top helps keep your hands clean. By Diane ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ How does Janice like being pregnant?" Bob asked his friend John. "Oh, she's not pregnant," John replied, "she's expecting." "What's the difference?" Bob pressed. "Well, John explained, "She's expecting me to cook dinner, she's expecting me to do the housework, she's expecting me to rub her feet, she's expecting me to do anything and everything but wipe her nose." ___________________________________________________
Amish move house by hand
____________________________________________________ One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked, "Where did mommy go?" In answer to his questions, I told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?" I've always given my son honest answers, so I figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," I said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other." He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime. Then he burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," he said. "What is it really?" ____________________________________________________ One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice." "Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?" ____________________________________________________
25 mind bending photos. I like the model city built out of toothpicks that took 36 years to build.
 Today on April 2 1513 Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon sighted Florida. 1801 During the Napoleonic Wars, the Danish fleet was destroyed by the British at the Battle of Copenhagen. The Danes were pro-democracy and Britain was against it. 1872 G.B. Brayton received a patent for the gas-powered streetcar. 1889 Charles Hall patented aluminum. 1905 The Simplon rail tunnel officially opened. The tunnel went under the Alps and linked Switzerland and Italy. 1910 Karl Harris perfected the process for the artificial synthesis of rubber. 1917 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson presented a declaration of war against Germany to the U.S. Congress. 1935 Sir Watson-Watt was granted a patent for RADAR. It had been shown in Germany two years before, but not patented. 1947 The U.N. Security Council voted to appoint the U.S. as trustee for former Japanese-held Pacific Islands. 1960 France signed an agreement with Madagascar that proclaimed the country an independent state within the French community. 1963 Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King began the first campaign in Birmingham, AL. 1966 South Vietnamese troops joined in demonstrations at Hue and Da Nang for an end to military rule. 1967 In Peking, hundreds of thousands demonstrated against Mao foe Liu Shao-chi. 1972 Burt Reynolds appeared nude in "Cosmopolitan" magazine. 1982 Argentina invaded the British-owned Falkland Islands. The following June Britain took the islands back. 1984 In Jerusalem, three Arab gunmen wounded 48 people when they opened fire into a crowd of shoppers. 1986 On a TWA airliner flying from Rome to Athens a bomb exploded under a seat killing four Americans. 1989 General Prosper Avril, Haiti's military leader, survived a coup attempt. The attempt was apparently provoked by Avril's U.S.-backed efforts to fight drug trafficking. 1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein threatened to incinerate half of Israel with chemical weapons if Israel joined a conspiracy against Iraq. 1992 Mob boss John Gotti was convicted in New York of murder and racketeering. He was later sentenced to life in prison. 1996 Russia and Belarus signed a treaty that created a political and economic alliance in an effort to reunite the two former Soviet republics. 1996 Lech Walesa resumed his old job as an electrician at the Gdansk shipyard. He was the former Solidarity union leader who became Poland's first post-war democratic president. 2002 Israeli troops surrounded the Church of the Nativity. More than 200 Palestinians had taken refuge at the church when Israel invaded Bethlehem. 2016 Do smiled.

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