Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, June 26 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Man arrested for attacking and screaming at child who played 'keep away' with father's day card Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 26 in 1819 The bicycle was patented by W.K. Clarkson, Jr. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ [It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system. --- Dan Quayle (1947 ) Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. --- Elvis Costello (1954 ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This is a call that came into the 911 emergency line: 911 operator: 911 what is your emergency? Man: Hey dude, I need an ambulance. (static in the phone line interrupts call) 911 operator: A what? Man: I need an ambulance. A dude just got hit by a car. 911 operator: Okay, where are you? Man: I'm down here on Sycamore Street. (static in the phone line becomes worse) 911 operator: Where are you? Say it again. This static makes it hard to understand you. Man: I'm at Sycamore Street! (static still continues) 911 operator: Maybe it would be easier to understand you if you spell where you're at. Man: All right. S-y-c-k...no, no that ain't right. S-i- c-k...no...S-e...S-y. I'll tell you what, I'll drag the dude over to Lee Street; you can pick him up there. ------------------ That reminds me of the quaint little town in Austria where I went to University. There was a Gasthaus on Gymnasium Alley that was packed full of students every night, trading cheat sheets and exam notes, and drinking lots of beer. Quite frequently freshmen keeled over shortly after exiting into the fresh air on Gymnasium Alley and had an imprompty nap attack. The cops usually picked them up on their hourly rounds, but according to the paper, every single one of them always was reported as having been found sleeping on Burg Street. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to under- stand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers. "How would you feel," I asked, "if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual and weird clothes? Wouldn't you be a bit scared?" "Nah," one boy answered, "I'd just figure it was my sister's date." ______________________________________________________ For all those of you, who did not find the cat in yesterday`s picture, here it is: Seljalandsfoss, Iceland _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lance Churchill, 33, Shelton, Connecticut, Man arrested for attacking and screaming at child who played 'keep away' with father's day card A father is facing charges after he allegedly picked up a child at a day care center in Shelton, Connecticut, yelled at him and pinned him to the ground. Oh, and when officers arrived, the man demanded the 5-year-old be arrested, according to NBC Connecticut. Lance Churchill, 33, was arrested June 16 for the alleged incident, which started when a group of dads came to the Apple Tree Day Care for a Father's Day celebration. All the children, including Churchill's son, made cards for their fathers. Churchill was looking at the card when another kid at the center playfully grabbed the card out of his hands, according to Shelton Police. The child ran around the room while the 6-foot-4-inch, 270- pound suspect chased him. When Churchill finally caught up with the kid, he picked up the child and lifted him over his head, police said. Then he pinned the kid to the ground and screamed at him in front of the other children, according to the New Haven Register. Day care staff managed to rip the kid away from Churchill and called police. When police arrived, Churchill asked them to arrest the 5- year-old boy, according to the Shelton Herald. It's probably not a spoiler alert to say that's not how things played out. Instead, they arrested Churchill on charges of risk of injury to a minor and disorderly conduct. He was later released on a $1,500 bond and has a court date for June 30. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Connie Re: Electricity bill from leaving the computer on Dear Webby, Leaving your computer on all the time, what is the impact on the electric bill? Living on S.S., my budget is quite strict. I use a laptop, wireless mouse and keyboard, and a 15 inch LCD monitor. Connie Dear Connie I got it set to turn the monitor off after 5 minutes of inactivity, but keep the hard drives running forever. Be EXTREMELY careful with crap like Avira, that changes your power settings behind your back, and sabotages your hard drives by turning them off in the middle of a defrag. Whenever you use Avira or any of those supposed speed up or improvement programs, ALWAYS check your power settings to make sure they did not change them behind your back. A modern hard drive takes about the same amount of power as your phone charger. Don`t worry about it. That amounts to $1 - $2 a month. A trashed hard drive is a LOT more expensive. It is good to be concerned about the environment and not unnecessarily use coal produced power in areas, where the environmentalists prevent clean nuclear or wind power, but don`t get carried away. If you do want to save a total of maybe $5 a month, shut down properly, never partially with some silly power saver gimmick. Have FUN! DearWebby Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions. One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!" There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Oatmeal Waffles By Donna [413 Posts, 406 Comments] Simple, but healthier alternative to regular store bought waffles. These are made from leftover oatmeal! Prep Time: 15 minutes Ingredients: any type oatmeal you have prepared spray coconut oil waffle toppings of your choice Steps: I always make twice as much oatmeal as I need and use it in other recipes or to make these delicious waffles. They are my families favorite breakfast now! Simply spray your grill. Drop your precooked oatmeal onto it Close it and let it cook. I will open it up after a while and check on it. I let it brown lightly. Take it out and serve it with a dollop of homemade strawberry jam but sometimes we cut up fresh fruit in season and serve it on top! ____________________________________________________ | | Building a cedar strip canoe by hand |
____________________________________________________ Wisdom For Your Cubicle 1. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday. 2. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts. 3. Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent. 4. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them. 5. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat. 6. If at first you don't succeed--try management. 7. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. 8. Never quit until you have another job. 9. Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away! 10. Go the extra mile--It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker. 11. Pride, commitment, teamwork--words we use to get you to work for free. 12. Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore. 13. There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore. ___________________________________________________ | | Contemporary works of art. |
So," Jane asked the detective she had hired, "did you trail my husband?" "Yes ma'am. I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment." A big smile crossed Jane's face,"Aha!! Then I've got him!" she said, gloating. " Is there any doubt what he was doing?" "No ma'am." replied the sleuth, "It's pretty clear, that he was following you and taking pictures for his web site." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first." ____________________________________________________ | Today, on June 26, in 1096 Peter the Hermit's crusaders forced their way across Sava, Hungary. 1243 The Seljuk Turkish army in Asia Minor was wiped out by the Mongols. 1483 Richard III usurped himself to the English throne. 1794 The French defeated an Austrian army at the Battle of Fleurus. 1804 The Lewis and Clark Expedition reached the mouth of the Kansas River after completing a westward trek of nearly 400 river miles. 1819 The bicycle was patented by W.K. Clarkson, Jr. 1870 The first section of the boardwalk in Atlantic City, NJ, was opened to the public. 1894 The American Railway Union called a general strike in sympathy with Pullman workers. 1900 The United States announced that it would send troops to fight against the Boxer rebellion in China. 1900 A commission that included Dr. Walter Reed began the fight against the deadly disease yellow fever. 1907 Russia's nobility demanded drastic measures to be taken against revolutionaries. 1908 Shah Muhammad Ali's forces squelched the reform elements of Parliament in Persia. 1917 General John "Black Jack" Pershing arrived in France with the American Expeditionary Force. 1925 Charlie Chaplin's comedy "The Gold Rush" premiered in Hollywood. That was the only movie about Canada that I had seen before immigrating. 1926 A memorial to the first U.S. troops in France was unveiled at St. Nazaire. 1924 After eight years of occupation, American troops left the Dominican Republic. 1927 The Coney Island Cyclone roller coaster opened in New York. 1936 The Focke-Wulf Fw 61 made its first flight. It is often considered the first practical helicopter. 1942 The Grumman F6F Hellcat fighter was flown for the first time. 1945 The U.N. Charter was signed by 50 nations in San Francisco, CA. 1948 The Berlin Airlift began as the U.S., Britain and France started ferrying supplies to the isolated western sector of Berlin. 1951 The Soviet Union proposed a cease-fire in the Korean War. 1959 U.S. President Eisenhower joined Britain's Queen Elizabeth II in ceremonies officially opening the St. Lawrence Seaway. 1961 A Kuwaiti vote opposed Iraq's annexation plans. 1963 U.S. President John Kennedy announced "Ich bin ein Berliner" (I am a Berliner) at the Berlin Wall. 1971 The U.S. Justice Department issued a warrant for Daniel Ellsberg, accusing him of giving away the Pentagon Papers. 1974 In Troy, Ohio, a Marsh supermarket installed the first bar code scanning equipment, made by IBM, and a product with a bar code was scanned for the first time. The product was Juicy Fruit gum. 1976 In Toronto, Canada, the CN Tower opened to the public. The official opening date is listed as October 1, 1976. It was the world's tallest free-standing stucture and the world's tallest tower until 2010. 1979 Muhammad Ali, at 37 years old, announced that he was retiring as world heavyweight boxing champion. 1987 The movie "Dragnet" opened in the U.S. 1996 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the Virginia Military Institute to admit women or forgo state support. 1997 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Communications Decency Act of 1996 that made it illegal to distribute indecent material on the Internet. 1997 J.K. Rowlings book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" was published in the U.K. The book was later released in the U.S. under the name "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." This was the first book in the Harry Potter series. 1997 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld state laws that allow for a ban on doctor-assisted suicides. 1998 The U.S. and Peru open school to train commandos to patrol Peru's rivers for drug traffickers. 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that employers are always potentially liable for supervisor's sexual misconduct toward an employee. 2000 The Human Genome Project and Celera Genomics Corp. jointly announced that they had created a working draft of the human genome. 2000 Indonesia's President Abdurrahman Wahid declared a state of emergency in the Moluccas due to the escalation of fighting between Christians and Muslims. 2001 Ray Bourque (Colorado Avalanche) announced his retirement just 17 days after winning his first Stanley Cup. Bouque retired after 22 years and held the NHL record for highest- scoring defenseman and playing in 19 consecutive All-Star games. 2002 WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. 2017 Do smiled. |
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