Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, October 24 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Fla Man had kidnapping checklist ___________________________________________________ Today, October 24 in 1929 In the U.S., investors dumped more than 13 million shares on the stock market. The day is known as "Black Tuesday." ____________________________________________________ When we got into office, the thing that surprised me the most was that things were as bad as we'd been saying they were. --- John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963) ____________________________________________________ A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself." ____________________________________________________ Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents. When she rang the bell, Little Johnny opened the door. The teacher said, "Hello, Johnny. I would like to talk to your mother or your father." Little Johnny said, "Sorry, but they ain't here." The teacher said, "Johnny, what is it with your grammar?" "Beats me," said Little Johnny, "but dad sure was mad that they had t'go bail her out again." ____________________________________________________ John Landers Tern diving in Sherwood Park, Alberta ____________________________________________________ "Doctor!" whined the patient. "I keep seeing spots before my eyes." The physician scratched his head, "Why have you come to me? Have you seen an opthalmologist?" "No," replied the patient, "just spots." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jacob Holman, 26, Clearwater, Florida, USA Fla Man had kidnapping checklist Clearwater police arrested a man who they say was planning to kidnap a young girl. Investigators said 26-year-old Jacob Holman had plotted out an abduction and had begun collecting items on a list, including a condom, duct tape, a shovel, gloves, a flashlight, and a first aid kit. Also on this list was written out "snatch up lil girl" and "throw in trunk." On his cell phone, detectives found video they said Holman had taken of a girl who appeared to be about 5 years old at a local store. Major Natalia Illich-Hailey said Holman had plans to leave town, and detectives believed he was putting his plan into motion. When asked whether investigators believed if Holman planned to rape and murder a child, Illich-Hailey replied, "It's hard to speculate what in someone's mind, but obviously when we look at it, that was the concern." She added, "I truly believe that we saved a life yesterday." Police said they became aware of Holman's intentions during an investigation into a domestic dispute early Thursday at his home. Investigators said they also found child pornography on Holman's computer. "So often in this profession we see the tragic outcome after a heinous crime is committed," said Police Chief Dan Slaughter. "This is one of those rare occasions where we were fortunate to be able to intervene before the crime happened." Police arrested Holman and charged him with attempted kidnapping and possession of child pornography. He is being held in the Pinellas County Jail. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Robin Re: How true are the Bonehead Awards? Dear Webby, Your Bonehead Awards are hilarious, but sometimes seem too hilarious and not quite believable. How true are they really? Robin Dear Robin They are all from newspaper and police reports. If you have any doubts, just Google for the names involved. I may shorten them, if a newspaper reporter gets too wordy, but I don't change any of the important documentation. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Stopped at a friends house the other day and found him stalkin around with a flyswatter. When I asked if he was gettin any flies, he answered, "Yeah, three males and two females". Curious, I inquired as to how he could tell the difference. He answered, "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone". ______________________________________________ A sweet young lady who had just been shopping is pulled over by a traffic cop and given a ticket for speeding. Rather than fight the ticket, the woman writes a check for the amount of the fine and puts it in the mail. However, the young woman is worried. Her husband always examines her checkbook carefully, and she doesn't want him to know about the incident. Then inspiration strikes, and she scribbles on the check stub: "One pullover, $125." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A couple that have been married for 40 years decide to celebrate their anniversary with a renewal of their vows. In planning the ceremony with the help of a friend, the wife says she has decided to wear silver instead of white. At that point, her husband chimes in, "Yep, silver. To match her hair." Glaring at the husband's bald spot, the wife's friend inquires, "So, I guess you are going naked?" ___________________________________________________ | Today, October 24, in 1632 Scientist Anthony van Leeuwenhoek was born in Delft, Holland. He created the first microscope lenses that were powerful enough to observe single-celled animals. 1648 The Holy Roman Empire was effectively destroyed by the Peace of Westphalia that brought an end to the Thirty Years War. 1795 The country of Poland was divided up between Austria, Prussia, and Russia. 1836 Alonzo D. Phillips received a patent for the phosphorous friction safety match. 1861 The first transcontinental telegraph message was sent when Justice Stephen J. Field of California transmitted a telegram to U.S. President Lincoln. 1901 Daredevil Anna Edson Taylor became the first person to go over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. She was 63 years old. 1929 In the U.S., investors dumped more than 13 million shares on the stock market. The day is known as "Black Tuesday." 1931 The upper level of the George Washington Bridge opened for traffic between New York and New Jersey. 1939 Nylon stockings were sold to the public for the first time in Wilmington, DE. 1940 In the U.S., the 40-hour workweek went into effect under the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938. 1945 The United Nations (UN) was formally established less than a month after the end of World War II. The Charter was ratified by China, France, the Soviet Union, the United Kingdom, the United States and by a majority of other signatories. 1948 The term "cold war" was used for the first time. It was in a speech by Bernard Baruch before the Senate War Investigating Committee. 1960 All remaining American-owned property in Cuba was nationalized. The process of nationalizing all U.S. and foreign-owned property in Cuban had begun on August 6, 1960. 1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, U.S. military forces went on the highest alert in the postwar era in preparation for a possible full-scale war with the Soviet Union. The U.S. blockade of Cuba officially began on this day. 1969 Richard Burton bought his wife Elizabeth Taylor a 69- carat Cartier diamond ring for $1.5 million. Burton presented the ring to Taylor several days later. 1986 Britain broke off relations with Syria after a Jordanian was convicted in an attempted bombing. The evidence in the trial led to the belief that Syria was involved in the attack on the Israeli jetliner. 2001 The U.S. House of Representatives approved legislation that gave police the power to secretly search homes, tap all of a person's telephone conversation and track people's use of the Internet. 2001 The U.S. stamp "United We Stand" was dedicated. 2001 NASA's 2001 Mars Odyssey spacecraft successfully entered orbit around Mars. 2002 Microsoft Corp. and Walt Disney Co. announced the release of an upgraded MSN Internet service with Disney content 2021 Do smiled. |
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