Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, April 29 ______________________________________________________ Today, April 29 in 1992 Rioting began after a jury decision to acquit four Los Angeles policemen in the Rodney King beating trial. 54 people were killed in 3 days. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Boy, 4, died after being burned while under care of mother's boyfriend ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought. --- Sir William Osler (1849 - 1919) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Get this." said a guy to his friends, "Last night, while I was down at the bar with you guys, a burglar broke into my house. "Did he get anything?" his friends asked. The guy said, "Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs." One of his friends ask, "Whoa! But...how???" The guy answered, "Well, it was really late at night and my wife thought it was me coming home drunk!" ______________________________________________________` We had a snow storm yesterday afternoon and evening. This afternoon the weather cleared up and it got warmer. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Khalil Jabali, 23, Miami Gardens, Floriduh Boy, 4, died after being burned while under care of mother's boyfriend A 4-year-old boy died Wednesday, days after he was burned while under the care of his mother's boyfriend, Miami Gardens police said. According to a police report, Khalil Jabali, 23, was watching his girlfriend's three children Sunday while she was at work when the woman's son was burned by hot water that had been boiled in the microwave. Police said Jabali called his girlfriend to tell her that the boy had wet his bed and was burned by hot water he had left in the bathroom when her younger child started crying. Explaining that he had boiled water in the microwave so he could wash the boy's wet clothes, Jabali told police he left a bowl of hot water on the bathroom sink while he was in another room checking on the other child. When he returned to the bathroom, Jabali said he found the boy on the floor moaning and his skin peeling off. The boy's mother left work and, along with Jabali, took her son to Jackson North Medical Center. He was then transferred to the burn unit at Jackson Memorial Hospital's Ryder Trauma Center. Police said the boy had burns to 15 percent of his body. The boy also had other injuries, including bleeding around the brain and the chest cavity and broken ribs, authorities said. The boy's body was taken to the Miami-Dade County medical examiner's office, where an official cause of death will be determined. Jabali was initially arrested on an aggravated child abuse charge. It's unclear whether that charge will be upgraded. Jabali also faces a molestation charge involving a 6-year-old girl. "The pain suffered by these children, allegedly at the hands of their mother's boyfriend, is sickening," DCF Press Secretary DaMonica Smith said in a statement. "DCF has opened a child death investigation and a child protective investigation. The department is actively supporting law enforcement to ensure that anyone responsible for harming these children is brought to justice." Jabali remains in custody at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center without bond. DCF officials said the department has had no prior interaction with the family. The deceased child's siblings are now in protective care. From: Shelley Re: Antispywaremaster Dear Webby I have apparently been infected with a bug called antispyware master. Spybot doesn't see it, neither does my antivirus. I looked it up and it seems to be one of the most common, and one of the worst to get rid of because it changes. Do you, O sage, know how I got this, and how to get rid of it? I am very careful about my surfing! Thank you for everything, especially being someone we can ask and expect straight answers from. Have a great day! Shelley Dear Shelley From what I could find, it comes bundled with some stuff that you or your hubby agreed to get, without reading the small print. Malwarebytes of course removes it, or you can try a manual removal attempt with the instructions at https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/virus-removal/antispywaremaster Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. During the weeks before Jill's wedding, she was terribly anxious about making some mistakes at the ceremony. The minister reassured her several times, pointing out that the service was not difficult and she will do just fine. "All you have to remember," he said, "is that when you enter the church you walk up the AISLE. The groom and best man will be waiting before the ALTAR. Then I shall request the congregation to sing a HYMN....then we shall get on with the ceremony. All you have to remember is the order in which those things happen and you can't go wrong." The happy day finally arrived, and the bridegroom waited nervously for his bride to appear. When she arrived and stood alongside him, he heard her quietly repeating to herself, "Aisle, altar, hymn, aisle, altar, hymn." Or, as it sounded to him, "I'll alter him!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A son comes home from the Army. After a few hours, he finally gets to talk to his father alone behind the barn. "So, son, what did the Army teach you?" asked the father. "Well, they taught me how to kill people," said the son. "With what?" asked father. "We used all kinds of things, like guns and knives, but my favorite was the grenade," said the son. "What's a grenade?" asked the father. "Well, I brought one home to show you. You just pull this pin out and throw it as far as you can," said the son. The son proceeded to give a demonstration. Lo and behold, the son throws the grenade behind the outhouse. KABOOM!!! The outhouse is demolished. All the lumber and everything else lands in a heap in the yard. Grandpa sticks his head out of the pile and says, "Whew! Damn Sauerkraut! I'm glad I didn't let that one loose in the house!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Firewood Tips: Find Dry (Seasoned) Wood It takes 8 to 12 months to dry (season) wood for burning so unless you have wood on hand already, you will want to purchase dry wood. Dry wood burns longer, cleaner and produces greater heat. Unseasoned wood creates a potentially dangerous creosote buildup in your chimney. thriftyfun.Com If you dry the wood in your yard, pile it onto plastic sewer pipe runners. That not only blocks most of the creepy-crawlies, but it speeds up the drying quite dramatically. The electrical and moisture insulation somehow makes a huge difference. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | | An enchanting abandoned monastery in Portugal. |
___________________________________________________ After nearly 45 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?' To which he responded: "I found the remote." ___________________________________________________ It's forty below zero one winter night in Alaska. Pat is drinking at his local saloon and the bartender says to him, "You owe me quite a bit on your tab." "Sorry," says Pat, "I'm flat broke this week." "That's okay," says the bartender. "I'll just write your name and the amount you owe me right here on the wall." Pat says, "But, I don't want any of my friends to see that." "They won't," says the bartender. "I'll just hang your parka over it until it's paid." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A farmer had been taken several times by the local car dealer. One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he had hit a cow on the road the night before, and needed to buy one to replace it, and that he was coming over to purchase a cow. The farmer priced his cow as follows: Basic cow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 499.95 Shipping and handling . . . . . . . . . . 35.75 Extra stomach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79.25 Two tone exterior . . . . . . . . . . . . 142.10 Produce storage compartment . . . . . . . . . . . . 126.50 Heavy duty straw chopper . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189.60 Four spigot/high output, milk system . . . . . . . 149.20 Automatic fly swatter . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . 88.50 Genuine cowhide upholstery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179.90 Deluxe dual horns . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59.25 Automatic fertilizer attachment . . . . . . . . . 339.40 4 x 4 traction drive assembly . . . . . . . . . . . 884.16 Pre delivery wash and comb . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69.80 FARMERS SUGGESTED LIST PRICE: . . 2,843.36 Additional dealer adjustments: . . . . . . . . . . 300.00 TOTAL LIST PRICE (Including installed options): $3143.36 ___________________________________________________ | Today April 29 in 1289 Qala'un, the Sultan of Egypt, captured Tripoli. 1429 Joan of Arc led Orleans, France, to victory over Britain. 1661 The Chinese Ming dynasty occupied Taiwan. 1672 King Louis XIV of France invaded the Netherlands. 1813 Rubber was patented by J.F. Hummel. 1852 The first edition of Peter Roget's Thesaurus was published. 1858 Austrian troops invaded Piedmont. 1861 New Orleans fell to Union forces during the Civil War. 1879 In Cleveland, OH, electric arc lights were used for the first time. 1913 Gideon Sundback patented an all-purpose zipper. 1916 Irish nationalists surrendered to British authorities in Dublin. 1918 Germany's Western Front offensive ended in World War I. 1924 An open revolt broke out in Santa Clara, Cuba. 1927 Construction of the Spirit of St. Louis was completed for Lindbergh. 1945 The German Army in Italy surrendered unconditionally to the Allies. 1945 In a bunker in Berlin, Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun were married. Hitler designated Admiral Karl Doenitz his successor. 1945 The Nazi death camp, Dachau, was liberated. 1946 Twenty-eight former Japanese leaders were indicted in Tokyo as war criminals. 1952 IBM President Thomas J. Watson, Jr., informed his company's stockholders that IBM was building "the most advanced, most flexible high-speed computer in the world." The computer was unveiled April 7, 1953, as the IBM 701 Electronic Data Processing Machine. 1974 U.S. President Nixon announced he was releasing edited transcripts of secretly made White House tape recordings related to the Watergate scandal. 1975 The U.S. embassy in Vietnam was evacuated as North Vietnamese forces fought their way into Saigon. 1984 In California, the Diablo Canyon nuclear reactor went online after a long delay due to protests. 1988 Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev promised more religious freedom. 1990 The destruction of the Berlin Wall began. 1992 Exxon executive Sidney Reso was kidnapped outside his Morris Township, NJ, home by Arthur Seale. Seale was a former Exxon security official. Reso died while in captivity. 1992 Rioting began after a jury decision to acquit four Los Angeles policemen in the Rodney King beating trial. 54 people were killed in 3 days. 1994 Israel and the PLO signed an agreement in Paris which granted Palestinians broad authority to set taxes, control trade and regulate banks under self-rule in the Gaza Strip and Jericho. 1996 Former CIA Director William Colby was missing and presumed drowned after an apparent boating accident in Maryland. Colby's body was later recovered. 1997 Staff Sgt. Delmar Simpson, a drill instructor at Aberdeen Proving Ground in Maryland, was convicted of raping six female trainees. He was sentenced to 25 years in prison and was dishonorably discharged. 1997 Astronaut Jerry Linenger and cosmonaut Vasily Tsibliyev went on the first U.S.-Russian space walk. 1998 The U.S., Canada and Mexico end tariffs on $1 billion in NAFTA trade. 1998 Brazil announced a plan to protect a large area of Amazon forest. The area was about the size of Colorado. 2003 Mr. T (Laurence Tureaud) filed a lawsuit against Best Buy Co. Inc., that claimed the store did not have permission to use his likeness in a print ad. 2009 NATO expelled two Russian diplomats from NATO headquarters in Brussels over a spy scandal in Estonia. Russia's Foreign Ministry criticized the expulsions. 2015 The White Sox beat the Baltimore Orioles 8-2 at Camden Yards. The game was played without a crowd present due to the ongoing riots and protests in Baltimore. This was the first time a Major League Baseball game was played in front of an empty house. 2019 Do smiled. |
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