Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, July 3 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  ___________________________________________________ Today, July 3 in  1863 The U.S. Civil War Battle of Gettysburg, PA, ended after three days. It was a major victory for the Republicans as Confederate troops retreated.  _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Carjacking Suspect Leads Police on 100 Mile-Per-Hour Car Chase Before Driving Off a Cliff Into the Ocean  ______________________________________________________ 
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_____________________________________________________ If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. --- Mel Brooks (1926 - ) _____________________________________________________ A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a Democrat gathering, and Anni, his hostess, naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Anni asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "What sort of question?" Anni questioned. "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' Anni thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history." _____________________________________________________ Mountain Bluebirds (Priddis Area - June 28, 2020) Santisouk Photography ___________________________________________________ Terri and Buzz, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami, are getting ready to go out to dinner. Terri says, "Buzz, darling, do you want me to wear this Chanel suit or the Gucci?" Buzz says, "Do I care?" A few minutes later Terri says, "Buzz, should I wear my Cartier watch or my Rolex?" Buzz says, "Who cares?" A few more minutes pass and Terri says, "Buzz, love, shall I wear my five-carat pear diamond ring or my six-carat round diamond ring with the baguettes?" Buzz says, "Terri, I really don't care what you wear, but if you don't move your butt , we're going to miss the Early Bird Special at McDonalds. ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Helen for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Kenyanjui, 56, Portland USA

Carjacking Suspect Leads Police on 100 Mile-Per-Hour Car Chase Before Driving Off a Cliff Into the Ocean

John Kenyanjui, 56, has been arrested on carjacking, evading police, hit and run and unlawful weapon charges A dangerous car chase through the streets of California's Santa Cruz County ended with the suspect driving off a cliff and into the Pacific Ocean. The harrowing incident began on Tuesday around 3:30 p.m., when deputies responded to reports of a man firing a handgun into the air near Davenport, Calif., according to the Santa Cruz County Sheriff's Office. Law enforcement officials said the same man is suspected of carjacking and took off in a vehicle. Deputies attempted to stop the car near the Scotts Creek neighborhood, but the suspect refused to pull over and continued speeding down south, reaching speeds of more than 100 miles per hour, according to authorities. When the man drove to the more densely populated city of Santa Cruz, deputies suspended their pursuit of the vehicle "for the safety of the community," the sheriff's office said. The Santa Cruz Police Department later located the car driving down a coastal road, where the man was involved in a "solo vehicle traffic collision" and drove over a cliff, according to law enforcement officials. The car landed in the water. Authorities said the suspect managed to climb out of the vehicle following the crash and hike up the cliff, where deputies arrested him on carjacking, evading police, hit and run and unlawful weapon charges. In video footage circulating on social media, the vehicle can be seen turned upside down in the water at the scene of the crash. No injuries were reported, according to the sheriff's office. On Wednesday, the Santa Cruz County Sheriff's Office identified the suspect involved in the car chase as John Kenyanjui of Portland. Kenyanjui, 56, is currently being held on $100,000 bail, according to authorities. It is unclear if he has an attorney or has entered a plea. An investigation is currently ongoing.

DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Betty Re: How to get rid of OneDrive DearWebby, I read you everyday. I am 86 and not good at technology,I use Google and Microsoft ,My question is,,one drive,,,last week it is showing up on my pc,,and really slowing down on starting up. Spectrum cant help me, and HP has charges, so I dont know how to get around this, I can delete it daily but is that all I can do ? Thanks for any help. Betty Dear Betty The answer to that is here: UNinstall Onedrive Have FUN! DearWebby
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_____________________________________________
 Did you know that Elvis was an especially colorful character? He was a redneck who stole the blues from the blacks and sold it to the whites. _____________________________________________ You Might Be a Redneck If... * You trim your beard and find a French fry. * You use a piece of bread as a napkin. * You wear overalls to save on the cost of shirts and underwear. * Your birth announcements included the words "rug rat". * Your car alarm eats dog food. * Your car burns more oil than gas. * Your flashlight holds more than four batteries. * Your horse can count higher than you. * Your idea of cleaning is throwing everything in the back yard. * Your property has ever been mistaken for a recycling center. * Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom. * Your underwear doubles as swimming trunks. * Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse. * You've ever hit a deer with your car... deliberately. * You view duct tape as a long-term investment. * You've ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop. * You have to take the entire day off to get your teeth cleaned. * You've ever lost your wife in a poker game. * You bought a VCR to record Rasslin' while you're at work. * Red Man chewing tobacco sends you a Christmas card. * You've ever stolen a bulldozer. * All of your four-letter words are two syllables. * You cut your toenails in front of company. * You've ever been too drunk to fish. * You think women are turned on by animal sounds. * You think women are turned on by tongue gestures. * You have to dress the kids up to go to WalMart. * You grow a beard because hey, it looks good on your sister. * You've ever been blacklisted from a bowling alley. * You know how many bales of hay your car can hold. * You made a hot tub with a trolling motor. * You have a tattoo that says "Mother" and its spelled wrong. * Your satellite dish payments delays buying back-to- school clothes for the kids. * Your sister's child looks just like you. * You've ever given rat traps as a gift. * Your stereo speakers used to belong to the drive-in theater. * The Home Shopping Club operator recognizes your voice. * You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow. * In an effort to watch your cholesterol, you start eating Spam Lite. How many of those do you check? You don't have to tell me which ones, just how many! ____________________________________________ One day as I fished on the sea A mermaid came visiting me Though just right on top T'other end was a flop With no parts to show she was a she. 
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________
 Today July 3 in 1608 The city of Quebec was founded by Samuel de Champlain. 1775 U.S. Gen. George Washington took command of the Continental Army at Cambridge, MA. 1790 In Paris, the marquis of Condorcet proposed granting civil rights to women. 1844 Ambassador Caleb Cushing successfully negotiated a commercial treaty with China that opened five Chinese ports to U.S. merchants and protected the rights of American citizens in China. 1863 The U.S. Civil War Battle of Gettysburg, PA, ended after three days. It was a major victory for the North as Confederate troops retreated. 1871 The Denver and Rio Grande Western Railroad Company introduced the first narrow-gauge locomotive. It was called the "Montezuma." 1878 John Wise flew the first dirigible in Lancaster, PA. 1880 "Science" began publication. Thomas Edison had provided the principle funding. 1898 During the Spanish American War, a fleet of Spanish ships in Cuba's Santiago Harbor attempted to run a blockade of U.S. naval forces. Nearly all of the Spanish ships were destroyed in the battle that followed. 1903 The first cable across the Pacific Ocean was spliced between Honolulu, Midway, Guam and Manila. 1937 Del Mar race track opened in Del Mar, CA. 1939 Chic Youngs comic strip character, "Blondie" was first heard on CBS radio. 1940 Bud Abbott and Lou Costello debuted on NBC radio. 1944 The U.S. First Army opened a general offensive to break out of the hedgerow area of Normandy, France. 1944 During World War II, Soviet forces recaptured Minsk. 1945 U.S. troops landed at Balikpapan and take Sepinggan airfield on Borneo in the Pacific. 1945 The first civilian passenger car built since February 1942 was driven off the assembly line at the Ford Motor Company plant in Detroit, MI. Production had been diverted due to World War II. 1950 U.S. carrier-based planes attacked airfields in the Pyongyang-Chinnampo area of North Korea in the first air- strike of the Korean War. 1954 Food rationing ended in Great Britain almost nine years after the end of World War II. 1974 The Threshold Test Ban Treaty was signed, prohibiting underground nuclear weapons tests with yields greater than 150 kilotons. 1981 The Associated Press ran its first story about two rare illnesses afflicting homosexual men. One of the diseases was later named AIDS. 1986 U.S. President Reagan presided over a ceremony in New York Harbor that saw the relighting of the renovated Statue of Liberty. 1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush formally inaugurated the Mount Rushmore National Memorial in South Dakota. 2020 Do smiled. 

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