Good Morning, Do, Today is Sunday, July 2 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Mysterious Ghost Voice Turns Out To Be Naked Burglar In The Chimney  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 2 in 1947 An object crashed near Roswell, NM. The U.S. Army Air Force insisted it was a weather balloon, but eyewitness accounts led to speculation that it might have been an alien spacecraft. Rumors that a few months after an alien met a sheep there, Pelosi was born, have not been officially proven. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ It's never just a game when you're winning. --- George Carlin (1937 - 2008) It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. --- Krishnamurti No one wants advice - only corroboration. --- John Steinbeck ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians in the Yukon who had never recorded a baptism, confirmation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the situation by baptizing and confirming everyone. He also married every beaming couple that walked by. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. "The marriage service," the chief said, smiling. "We all got new wives!" _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at "Mom" and pushed send. His mother answered, and I told her what happened. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll take care of it." A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was "Mom." "Martin," she said, "you left your cell phone at the convenience store." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jo Requillas Bagadiong   Split Rock, Minnesota _____________________________________________________ 
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 ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Jordan Kajewski, 29, Carroll, Iowa  Mysterious Ghost Voice Turns Out To Be Naked Guy In The Chimney  Brad Sapp thought he heard a mysterious voice whisper, Get out of here, in the wee hours of Wednesday morning, when he was sorting cans at the redemption center he owns in Carroll, Iowa, the Daily Times Herald reports. I honestly thought I was going crazy, Sapp told The Huffington Post, explaining that he looked all over for the source of the voice. His wife, Carrie, teased him that the voice must have been a ghost. But nine hours later, around 10 a.m., she received a scare of her own when she heard a man yelling for help inside the center's chimney. Oh, he was also naked. apparently did not want to get his clothews dirty. The man, later identified as 29-year-old Jordan Kajewski, called out, I'm in the chimney, while the couple was trying to figure out what Sapp had heard earlier. He said his wife thought the voice was his at first, but she realized what was really going on when Kajewski said again, I'm in the chimney! Kajewski told them he fell in while playing hide and seek, but Sapp didn't quite buy it. He accused the man of trying to break into the redemption center. Sapp stuck by his hide-and-seek story. The couple called 911, and rescue workers were able to get Kajewski out. He was then arrested on trespassing charges, according to the Times Herald. Sapp said he has no clue why Kajewski was naked, though the man did have some clothes with him. The chimney doesn't seem wide enough for someone to undress inside, which means that Kajewski likely took off his clothes before entering. Though they weren't exactly well-acquainted, Sapp said he had met Kajewski when the man came in on a few previous occasions to ask for a job. Sapp wasn't hiring.  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Wesley Re: W10 upgrade nagger nuisance Dear Webby, I have a Fujitsu laptop which is running Win 7 Pro. This laptop is 7 years old. I like it and my wife uses it with her computerized embroydery sewing machine. I continualy get a notice that updates are available. When I check on those it has always been a failure notice that says Win 10 upgrade failed. I don't want Win 10 on that computer. Is there a way to stop this attempt? Wes I enjoy your news letter very much. I have passed your site info on to many folks.  Dear Wes Can't blame you. I refuse W10 as well. I attached what I used, years ago, to stop that nonsense. They have not bothered me since. Gmail MIGHT try to block the zip file or the exe. Let me know if you got them. If not, you can download them from here: http://webby.com/tool/10-NO/README.txt http://webby.com/tool/10-NO/ Have FUN! DearWebby    A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother- in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The silly lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it. Im am not going to shoot her to save a lion." 
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 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cheap White Washcloths for Everyday  By Judy, Oklahoma [60 Posts, 749 Comments] If you have young children or teenagers who wear make-up, purchasing a bulk package of plain white washcloths can be very economical! I used to have nice, thick washcloths with pretty designs until I began to have kids. Then it seemed like whenever my kids needed to wash their faces or take a bath, they always seemed to grab the best washcloths. Even my husband seemed to gravitate towards them for the dirty job of wiping grubby little dirt (or food) stained hands and faces. Pretty soon my nice washcloths were ugly and stained! It got even worse when my oldest (a girl) began to wear make-up, then we could add lipstick, mascara, and eye liner to the dirt, fruit punch stains, and even the occasional "boo-boo" blood and cake frosting! The final straw was when my oldest son decided to try the 'gothic-look' and added HIS black eye liner to the mix! And then they began to experiment with the hair dye... I went to the store and bought a big 12 pack of white washcloths for the family bathroom. What remained of the nice stuff was kept in the master bathroom for me (or to be brought out for company). It didn't matter how dirty and stained they got, I could toss them in the washer with some bleach and get the stains out. When they got too grubby looking, they got sent to the rag box. It's been 10 years since I started this habit and I am only on my 2nd pack of 12 white washcloths! Since we've added 5 grandkids to the mix, I'm sure we'll continue this practice for a few more years as you can tell from my twin grandsons Riley and Rhaynan on their 2nd birthday! ;D By lyonpridej from OK  You can get those at the Dollar General store and sometimes at the Dollar store. Home Depot has packs of 12"x 12" Microfiber cloths that are not fluffy, but even more absorbent. For spills, that are not quite serious enough to haul out the Wet/Dry Vaccum, those are ideal. Each one soaks up a mug's worth of liquid. Have FUN! DearWebby  ____________________________________________________  
 
 
 Sounds of Silence. What are We Doing?" 
 ____________________________________________________  >From Linda Johnny, where's your homework? Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. My dog ate it, was his solemn response. Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that? It's true, Miss Martin, I swear it is, insisted Johnny. I had to smear it with honey, but I finally got him to eat it. ___________________________________________________  
 
 2017 National Geographic photographer of the year contest in city scapes.
 ___________________________________________________ A college student with a young child was pleased when her daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at the University. The director of the day care gave the mother a tour of the facilities. To assure herself of the center's high standards, the young mother asked about the curriculum. "Well," said the director, eyes twinkling, "today we are studying the children's favorite philosopher: Play-Doh." 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: "Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package." 
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 Today, on July 2, in 1298 An army under Albert of Austria defeated and killed Adolf of Nassua near Worms, Germany. 1625 The Spanish army took Breda, Spain, after nearly a year of siege. 1644 Lord Cromwell crushed the Royalists at the Battle of Marston Moor near York, England. 1747 Marshall Saxe led the French forces to victory over an Anglo-Dutch force under the Duke of Cumberland at the Battle of Lauffeld. 1776 Richard Henry Lee's resolution that the American colonies "are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States" was adopted by the Continental Congress. 1850 Prussia agreed to pull out of Schlewig and Holstein, Germany. 1850 Benjamin Lane patented a gas mask with a breathing apparatus. (Patent US7476 A) 1857 New York City's first elevated railroad officially opened for business. 1858 Czar Alexander II freed the serfs working on imperial lands. 1890 The U.S. Congress passed the Sherman Antitrust Act. 1937 American aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart disappeared in the Central Pacific during an attempt to fly around the world at the equator. 1939 At Mount Rushmore, Theodore Roosevelt's face was dedicated. 1944 American bombers, as part of Operation Gardening, dropped land mines, leaflets and bombs on German-occupied Budapest. 1947 An object crashed near Roswell, NM. The U.S. Army Air Force insisted it was a weather balloon, but eyewitness accounts led to speculation that it might have been an alien spacecraft. Rumors that 9 months after an alien met a sheep there Pelosi was born, have not been officially proven. 1962 Wal-Mart Discount City opened in Rogers, Arkansas. It was the first Walmart store. 1964 U.S. President Johnson signed the "Civil Rights Act of 1964" into law. The act made it illegal in the U.S. to discriminate against others because of their race. 1967 The U.S. Marine Corps launched Operation Buffalo in response to the North Vietnamese Army's efforts to seize the Marine base at Con Thien. 1976 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the death penalty was not inherently cruel or unusual. 1976 North Vietnam and South Vietnam were reunited. 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter reinstated draft registration for males 18 years of age. 1981 Soyuz T-6 returned to Earth. 1982 Larry Walters ("Lawnchair Larry") took flight in his homeade airship that consisted of a lawnchair with 45 helium- filled weather balloons attached to it. He stayed in flight for about an hour. 1985 General Motors announced that it was installing electronic road maps as an option in some of its higher-priced cars. 1995 "Forbes" magazine reported that Microsoft's chairman, Bill Gates, was worth $12.9 billion, making him the world's richest man. 1998 Cable News Network (CNN) retracted a story that alleged that U.S. commandos had used nerve gas to kill American defectors during the Vietnam War. 2000 In Mexico, Vicente Fox Quesada of the National Action Party (PAN) defeated Francisco Labastida Ochoa of the Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI) in the presidential election. The PRI had controlled the presidency in Mexico since the party was founded in 1929. 2017 Do smiled.

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