Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, September 8 Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my eyeballs. That means there won't be newsletters on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Sunday I will be back in your mailbox.  ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Drunk wrong way driver had to be stopped the hard way by brave cop  ___________________________________________________ Today, Sept 6 in 1893 In New Zealand, the Electoral Act 1893 was passed by the Legislative Council. It was consented by the governor on September 19 giving all women in New Zealand the right to vote. ____________________________________________________ By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ____________________________________________________ Man: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? Bystander: It's a girl. She's my daughter. Man: Oh, please forgive me, sir. I had no idea you were her father. Bystander: I'm not. I'm her mother. ____________________________________________________   Comment will be left in your shoes. ____________________________________________________ Morris was at his usual place sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of smarts and common sense. He turned to his wife Sherry, with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest bozos get the most attractive wives." His wife replied, "Why thank you, dear!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Anthony D. Smith, 46, Wauconda, Chicago, Illinois, USA  Drunk wrong way driver had to be stopped the hard way by brave cop  A suburban Chicago police officer risked his life to protect other drivers from a drunk who was going the wrong way, authorities said. Wauconda Police said that early Sunday morning, Officer Jon Finze and his K9, Badger, were patrolling Route 12 looking for a reported wrong-way driver. They found that driver, later identified as Anthony D. Smith, 46, near Route 176. Finze said he turned on his lights and sirens in an effort to get Smith to pull over before someone was hurt, but Smith kept on going as more traffic headed their way. Finze decided to block traffic with his own squad car, and about 20 seconds later, Smith smashed his Nissan right into it. Finze sustained minor injuries and Badger is being evaluated. Smith was not injured. Smith has at least three prior charges of driving under the influence and right now he shouldn't be driving at all his license is suspended. He is now facing a bunch of new charges.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Oscar Re: Reduce Gmail Dear Webby, I know you told us before, but at the time I was not worried about how much space my gmail is using. How do I weed it out? There does not seem to be a reasonable way to do it. Gmail is acting like an evil Mother-in-law and blocking any effort to control it. Help! Oscar  Dear Oscar Yes, indeed, they are not very helpful with that. They want you to buy extra space. There ARE a few ways to reduce the old and useless mails. I use MailWasher and nuke useless spamright on the server. You can make all kinds of handy filters in MailWasher and nuke spam from political parties and pharma peddlers. You will be surprised how much less mail there is! That won't help you with old mail, though. However, you can make the same filters i Gmail. First, though, you have to be sneaky and make a couple of Hotkeys in the Settings. I use "1" and "`", the top left keys. I assign the "1" to "Select all" and the "'" to delete all the selected ones. You can, of course, pick any keys you want. Then you toggle the mails per page to 100. Yes, the "Mother-in-law" won't let you pick 1000 or 5000. But 100 are better than the default 25 Then toggle "Newest" to "Oldest" Next paste this into the search field: before: 01/01/2020 or whatever "Oldest" date you want to use. The final setting is to get your pretty wife to watch you with a wooden spoon in hand and whack you, if you start reading ancient mails. Then hit ENTER. It will show you the 100 oldest mails. Now, with your fingers on the hot-keys, 1 will select all 100, ` will dump them. Now just keep tapping 1 and ` Assure your wife that you are not reading the old spam, and just keep hitting those two hot-keys. Don't be tempted to scroll down to see how much space you are still using. The Mother-in-law does not give up that easily. Just keep hitting those keys. When your fingers get sore, then you can scroll down. Still looks like you are using 15 GB. OK, dump trash and spam, then hit REFRESH. You will see that you are now using only 10 GB. Before you forget how to do it, whack it down to about 5 GB before you start celebrating. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!" Another one said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "Because God told me!" Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT !! ____________________________________________ I find it strange that all those psychics claim they know my future and the winning lottery numbers, yet they fail miserably in predicting that I dump their mail without reading it beyond the subject line. ____________________________________________ A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before the open casket and consoling the widow, he said, "I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that what we see here is the husk only, the shell -- the nut has gone to heaven." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today, Sept 8, in 1565 A Spanish expedition established the first permanent European settlement in North America at present-day St. Augustine, FL. 1664 The Dutch surrendered New Amsterdam to the British, who then renamed it New York. 1866 The first recorded birth of sextuplets took place in Chicago, IL. The parents were James and Jennie Bushnell. 1892 An early version of "The Pledge of Allegiance" appeared in "The Youth's Companion." 1893 In New Zealand, the Electoral Act 1893 was passed by the Legislative Council. It was consented by the governor on September 19 giving all women in New Zealand the right to vote. 1935 U.S. Senator Huey P. Long, "The Kingfish" of Louisiana politics, was shot and mortally wounded. He died two days later. 1945 In Washington, DC, a bus equipped with a two-way radio was put into service for the first time. 1945 Bess Myerson of New York was crowned Miss America. She was the first Jewish contestant to win the title. 1951 A peace treaty with Japan was signed by 48 other nations in San Francisco, CA. 1960 NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, AL, was dedicated by U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower. The facility had been activated in July earlier that year. 1966 NBC-TV aired the first episode of "Star Trek" entitled "The Man Trap". The show was canceled on September 2, 1969. 1971 In Washington, DC, the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts was inaugurated. The opening featured the premiere of Leonard Bernstein's "Mass." 1974 U.S. President Ford granted an unconditional pardon to former U.S. President Nixon. 1975 In Boston, MA, public schools began their court-ordered citywide busing program amid scattered incidents of violence. 1997 America Online acquired CompuServe. 1999 Russia's Mission Control switched off the Mir space station's central computer and other systems to save energy during a planned six months of unmanned flights. 2015 British researchers announced that evidence of a larger version of Stonehenge had been located about 2 miles from the Stonehenge location. There were 90 buried stones that had been found by ground penetrating radar. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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