Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, May 27 Thank you, Francis!! _____________________________________________________ Today, May 27 in 1647 Alse Young (Achsah Young or Alice Young), a resident of Windsor, CT, was executed for being a "witch." It was the first recorded American execution of a "witch." 1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for being Baptists. So much for freedom in the new world! More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Arby's Robber ran and hid in girl's toilet at McDonalds. Arby's girl chased and caught him ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. --- A. A. Milne (1882 - 1956) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Jackie Just as my husband pulled his delivery van away from the florist, the manager came running out. There was a cancellation on one of the orders, and he needed it back. "Which one?" my husband asked. "The one that reads 'Susan, I will love you forever. Bob.' " ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher Merrick, 30, Tarpon Springs, Floriduh Arby's Robber ran and hid in girl's toilet at McDonalds. Arby's girl chased and caught him A Florida Man accused of stealing $1450 that was being counted by an Arby's cashier told police that the money was like calling out to me before he grabbed the bills and bolted from the restaurant. Cops charge that Christopher Merrick yesterday entered a closed Arby's in Tarpon Springs around 9:20 AM as a female worker was counting the cash for her cash drawer. When the employee walked away from the counter, Merrick, 30, allegedly grabbed the cash and raced out of the store--with the Arby's employee on his heels. Merrick, pictured above, sending a kiss to his fellow inmates, ran to a neighboring McDonald's, where he hid in the women's bathroom , with the Arby's girl daring him to come out and get his clock cleaned. It did not quite come to that. The cops arrived and rescued Merrick. and he was arrested by Tarpon Springs Police Department officers who found the stolen cash in the trash can of the stall where the defendant had been hiding from the Arby's girl. Merrick reportedly confessed to the theft, saying, I saw the money on the counter and it was like calling out to me. Merrick, cops reported, said that he knew he had done something wrong and put the money in the trash can" at McDonalds. Charged with grand theft, a felony, Merrick is locked up in lieu of $2000 bond. He had just been released from the Pinellas County jail on May 10 upon completion of a sentence for felony battery. Merrick's rap sheet also includes convictions for theft, burglary, narcotics possession, and violating probation. DearWebby's tech Support Pits From: Charlie Re: HP printer DearWebby, I have to ask you a question . Not asking for help . Backin 18 I purchased a printer from HP. After about 4 months I started haveing problems, I called but they were unable to fix it. Then at the latter part of o7 I called again and talked to two reps.betwen them both I was on the phone for about two hours, then one tried to fix it ...then the other.. So they both gave up and told me they were going to send me a new printer. First thingI thought of was cost , they assured me there would be no charge. Fine with me. Afew days later I received the prnter. Only one problem they sent the wrong disc. My old printer was HPDeskjet D2300. and the disc was 840C.. So I called and got a run around. But finally connected to a young lady who helped me out. She told me that I had the wrong disc, and asked if I had any others, I told her the only one I have would be for my old printer. So we instaled that plus she did other things I have never seen before. She told me to call the company and get the correct one. This I did,this has been going on for weeks. After I requested anouther disc. at my expensess. I received an email, which states ..I quote... "We do not send out discs without the printer." I told them that my first printer had a disc,and the second one had a disc, How can you sell a printer with out a disc. I told them that I would buy it but never heard from them. So if you were in my place with a new printer and no disc.. what would you do. I know this is a long letter but please reply..... Sincerely, Charlie. Dear Charlie That is normal for HP. If you live too far from an HP outlet to go over there with a baseball bat, you are better off to buy a Dell or Brother. Some of the HP printers work quite well for a while, but if you need any support, HP has a very bad reputation. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. I WAS AN AIR-TRAFFIC CONTROLLER stationed at Selfridge Air National Guard Base in Michigan. One morning we picked up a Montana National Guard passenger aircraft. Instead of identifying the plane by its five-digit tail number, its pilot radioed, "Selfridge Approach, this is Pig Sty One." As we were taught to refer to aircraft by whatever call sign the pilot used, the controller thereafter called the craft "Pig Sty One." Just after touching down, the pilot contacted the tower. "Selfridge," he said, "our call sign is not 'Pig Sty One.' It is 'Big Sky One,' and we have the governor of Montana on board!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A distraught dog owner called his vet pleading for an immediate appointment. He explained that his dog had a large growth or swelling near the corner of its mouth. The vet told him to bring the animal right over. When the man came in, the vet examined the dog as the man stood by, anxiously waiting. At last the vet turned to him and asked, "Do you have any children?" "Oh, good grief, is it contagious?" the man gasped. "No," the doctor answered. "It's bubble gum." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Buyer Protection For Online Auction Purchases PayPal and other programs provide buyer protection for online auctions. The problem with this protection is that it doesn't necessarily cover the full price of your bid. Purchases are currently protected for only up $1,000, so expensive items will only be partially covered. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Remember them, past, present and future this Memorial Day. |
___________________________________________________ We live in a small town where we have a volunteer ambulance company. We are blessed with many dedicated and fully qualified attendants who staff our ambulances and give freely of themselves. I was chatting with one of the EMS responders one day and she could hardly stifle a chuckle, so I asked her what was so funny and she told me this story. It seems that she had gone to an automobile accident and was checking a patient who was lying on the road for injuries. As she knelt beside him and probed him, she asked, "Does this hurt or does that hurt?" After each probe, he replied, "No." When she had nearly completed her examination, she shifted to a better spot from which to finish, when after one of her probing questions, he exclaimed very loudly, "That hurts!" When she asked where, he looked up at her with a look of real pain on his face and said, "You're kneeling on my fingers!" ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Ross for bringing back this classic: Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home in Ft. Lauderdale reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny. The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece. The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she asked about?" The clerk smiled and said: "Parking lot rapes and robberies." ___________________________________________________ | Today May 27 in 1647 Alse Young (Achsah Young or Alice Young), a resident of Windsor, CT, was executed for being a "witch." It was the first recorded American execution of a "witch." 1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for being Baptists. So much for freedom in the new world! 1813 Americans captured Fort George, Canada. 1896 255 people were killed in St. Louis, MO, when a tornado struck. 1901 The Edison Storage Battery Company was organized. 1907 The Bubonic Plague broke out in San Francisco. 1919 A U.S. Navy seaplane completed the first transatlantic flight. 1926 Bronze figures of Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer were erected in Hannibal, MO. 1929 Colonel Charles Lindbergh and Anne Spencer Murrow were married. 1931 Piccard and Knipfer made the first flight into the stratosphere, by balloon. 1935 The U.S. Supreme Court declared that President Franklin Roosevelt's National Industrial Recovery Act was unconstitutional. 1937 In California, the Golden Gate Bridge was opened to pedestrian traffic. The bridge connected San Francisco and Marin County. 1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt proclaimed an "unlimited national emergency" amid rising world tensions. 1941 The German battleship Bismarck was sunk by British naval and air forces. 2,300 people were killed. 1942 German General Erwin Rommel began a major offensive in Libya with his Afrika Korps. 1944 U.S. General MacArthur landed on Biak Island in New Guinea. 1960 A military coup overthrew the democratic government of Turkey. 1977 George H. Willig was fined for scaling the World Trade Center in New York on May 26. He was fined $1.10. 1982 Japan announced the elimination of tariffs on 96 industrial goods. 1985 In Beijing, representatives of Britain and China exchanged instruments of ratification on the pact returning Hong Kong to the Chinese in 1997. 1986 Mel Fisher recovered a jar that contained 2,300 emeralds from the Spanish ship Atocha. The ship sank in the 17th century. 1994 Nobel Prize-winning author Alexander Solzhenitsyn returned to Russia. He had been in exile for two decades. 1996 Russian President Boris Yeltsin negotiated a cease-fire to the war in Chechnya in his first meeting with the leader of the rebels. 1997 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the sexual harassment suit filed by Paula Jones could continue while President Clinton was in office. 1998 Michael Fortier was sentenced to 12 years in prison for not warning anyone about the plot to bomb the Oklahoma City federal building. 1999 In The Hague, Netherlands, a war crimes tribunal indicted Slobodan Milosevic and four others for atrocities in Kosovo. It was the first time that a sitting head of state had been charged with such a crime. 2019 Do smiled. |
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